Futon Captain @FutonCaptain
Joined July 2013-
Tweets58
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Followers1
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Following9
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Likes0
@PFTCommenter: O-bomba's #MosqueVisit happend on National Signing Day? U don't say...
@spacej_me: ya. the whole sec west. wat a fuckin joke!
My beard has been sculpted with you in mind.
Wow. That was music to my queers. #grammys
yeah yeah blame the guy whos dna matches with the dna found at the crime scene. surprise surprise
Flossed today in preparation for this week's visit to the dentist. #Benghazi
"Did you just lick that table?" #HeardThatBefore
"I like that song." #ThingsYouMightHearALiberalSay
#GirlsLikeItWhen they get free shipping from Amazon for spending more than $25 or something on a single order.
"I think it's supposed to rain today." #ThingsYouMightHearALiberalSay
#girlslikeitwhen you tell them how you've about worn out your 3rd set of VHS copies of the entire C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa series.
#oomf is not a bot and I feel sorry for them.
"Where are my keys? I swear I left them right here..." #ThingsYouMightHearALiberalSay
#GirlsLikeItWhen it looks like my hair is wet from a shower but is really just greasy from not showering.
Yeah, more like No-Cook Sticking Spray.
Those old people whose chins can touch their noses.
Did anyone ever actually buy olive loaf or did stores keep it on stock just to give us something disgusting to contemplate?
bro do you even lift His name on high? #GodCan
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