Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

Kinsey six, Bristol seven facebook.com/hardvice Austin, TX Joined July 2010

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

6 years ago

♫ Last Christmas, I gave you my butt ♫ ♫ The very next day, you gave me your butt ♫ ♫ This year, because we are queer ♫ ♫ We’ll probably do lots of butt stuff ♫

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

6 years ago

Maturity is knowing when not to hit post.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

7 years ago

@Robert20904 Trump can’t rise above a compound sentence.

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@robertjbennett Our reliance on personal empirical observation just doesn’t seem to do well with exponential growth. I’m amazed how many people are baffled by what’s happening but mathematically we’re still solidly where you’d expect things to be.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

7 years ago

Dear Internet Diary, Today is a proud day in a man’s life — the day he gives up on dividing his underwear drawers into slutty/non-slutty and instead goes with singlet/non-singlet, because they’re all slutty.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

7 years ago

Just had to update the firmware n a sex toy. Oh brave new world and shit.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

7 years ago

Sometimes, it’s the texts you don’t send.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

7 years ago

@WizDiceOfficial Recently bought the Halfling Haversack. My Diamond Dust set has 2 d20s and no d12. Who should I contact?

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

7 years ago

My mom decided to call and tell me all about my brother’s vasectomy, so I countered by explaining I don’t need one because “butt babies don’t live”. Calling it a draw.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

@robertjbennett Growing up in the Philippines, my partner’s family had a driver and a nanny. They weren’t particularly wealthy — it was just expected. If I met somebody with a driver and a nanny here, I’d probably curtsey and call them milord just to be safe.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

@robertjbennett This is an interesting train of thought. Reminds me of how, in some cultures, being able to afford domestic help and failing to have any is viewed as greedy, selfish, and unneighborly, while here having domestic help is viewed as extravagant and lazy.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

What’s more disappointing: opening one of those Danish cookie tins and finding sewing supplies, or opening an Altoids tin and not finding mind-altering drugs?

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

@robertjbennett In these bleak, dark times, finally a beacon of hope shines out from the future.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

Good evening! The president of the United States has a “smaller than average” dick with a mushroom head, and we all have to live in a world where we all know that for some reason. Where is your God now?

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

Dear Internet Diary, The cable guy has been here for two hours. I’ve had to poop the whole time. How are you?

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

LEELOO DALLAS MULTIPANTS

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

This is going to have to be a real thing now.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

“Those were dark days, Billy. Sometimes, the dog would fart in his sleep and wake up scared and you wouldn’t find out about it for *minutes*!”

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

Logically, I know that I lived through it, but I am currently incapable of imagining a world with successful relationships but no inter-room text messaging.

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Dave Rich @Hard_Vice

8 years ago

In the past week, my mom has allegedly passed out and broken her nose and her cousin has allegedly fallen down the stairs and broken her leg. I think we all know what’s really going on here: Old Lady Fight Club.