Honest Server @HonestServer
Please, rattle your ice at me, I love that shit. In the weeds! Joined July 2012-
Tweets67
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Followers42
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Following95
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RT & follow @OriginalFunko for the chance to win a Death Star box from Smuggler's Bounty! smugglersbounty.com
How one man destroyed the Food Network and made culinary TV a living hell slnm.us/PZG7lf6
You ask me for a frozen margarita, loaded baked potato, and why we don't have cheesecake. I guess not everywhere can be Applebee's.
If you have paid your bill and are still sitting in my section an hour later, "would you like some water" = get the fuck out already.
Please come in about 5 minutes prior to closing and leave me 8%. I love that. Oh, two tables did that on the same night? Even better.
"Just bring me a Pinot Grigio." Okay. "Oh, I don't like this." And? What the Hell you want me to do about that? Dumbshit.
No ma'am, I cannot get you "a glass of red". You'll need to be a little more specific, Ms. Sophistication.
I'm sorry your side dish is cold. Perhaps had you eaten it somewhere inside of 15 minutes of running your damn mouth, you'd have hot food.
Every table gets the smile and my best effort but underneath it all I know some tables are just a fucking write off waste of time. @Badtips
Dear 21 year old sororisluts, four of you splitting a cheap bottle of wine and two apps does not permit you to sit for 3 fucking hours.
That look of utter terror on 20-something girl's face when you drop the check with dinner and 3 martinis on it. Almost worth the $2 tip.
Hey Hostess, how about not giving me every "Democrat" table, k? I know u have a rotation but fuck it, you know I won't get shit for tips.
If you ask for separate checks for your 9-top then tell me as I drop them that you're paying for the app and her glass of wine...fuck you.
Oh kitchen how I loathe you. Thx for selling me 5 of 8 entrees for my party. I love standing here waiting then having to apologize.
Please come in 7 minutes before closing and peruse the menu for as long as you like, fuckers. What part about "CLOSING IN 5" did we miss?
"What's good?" Seriously? You want my unbiased opinion of what to eat at the restaurant I work at? Ok. The $$$$$$$ special it is.
Please rattle your ice at me as I walk by. I'll get right on that fourth refill, chief. Promise. And also, kiss my ass. #ServerLife
If you say there are 12 in your party and a mere 7 show up, I kindly ask you to go fuck yourself if you bitch about the 20% gratuity added.
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