Humor Daily @HumorDaily26
Humor, jokes and comedy daily! (I follow back) Massachusettes Joined February 2014-
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A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Might deactivate this account, go follow my main one @Biggiephil
If necessity is the mother of invention, how come so much unnecessary stuff gets invented?
The guy who discovered milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
Hey, I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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