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HumorHive @HumorHive

Funny jokes and other silly nonsense - it's the bee's knees! beekeepr.com Joined April 2012
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HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

If there's one thing I know about women, it's that I'm probably wrong about that too.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

I'm not pregnant enough to enjoy Facebook.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

The Little Mermaid taught us all a valuable lesson. Men will fall in love with you if you can't talk.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Good evening, welcome to the Fuck Givery. We regret to inform you that we are closed for the night as we've run out of fucks to give.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Every time I see a girl running in high heels, a part of me wants to see her fall. Just kidding. All of me wants to see her fall.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

So many of my problems can be solved with a jet pack.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Thank you, adjectives. You make insulting people much more fun.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

I'm really disappointed in the number of animals we can ride.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Zippers must have been invented by a woman with some castration conspiracy in mind.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Most pictures are only worth seven words: "Why the hell did you take that?"

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Have you heard of this thing called "not being an asshole?" Let's make that popular.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

I love my life but it just wants to stay friends.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Every time I see a pile of clothes on the floor, I think the world just lost another Jedi.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Optimists make me want to drown them in half-full swimming pools.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Just remember: No matter how intelligent you think you are, someone out there thinks you're an idiot.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

My relationship with the gym isn't working out.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

"Two can play at this game!" - person who doesn't understand solitaire

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

I bet every recipe for disaster has raisins in it.

HumorHive Profile Picture

HumorHive @HumorHive

11 years ago

Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key

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