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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

I Will One Day Become A Koala Bear. Tulsa, Oklahoma Joined May 2010
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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

10 years ago

My conclusion on Inception is that even in his dreams, Leonardo DiCaprio still can't win an Academy Award.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

10 years ago

I'm getting a head start on Thanksgiving by prematurely fighting w/ my family & sobbing into nicely folded silverware napkins.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

10 years ago

Weeden & Randall both released from the Dallas Cowboys this season. So, the only Cowboys they get rid of are ones that went to college.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

10 years ago

The same enthusiasm one has about an actual train wreck happening before their eyes transpires well to social media relationships, right?

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

10 years ago

New England Patriots merchandise now on sale for Black Friday. If prices seem a little off, take into account the inflation tax.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

10 years ago

Studies show that stuffing your face w/ chocolate before an important test can affect your results & also your Diabetes read outs.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

It's Friday 13th. Stereotypes point to waiting in line to get a cheap "out of the binder" tattoo while getting hacked up by Jason Voorhies.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

I once placed a booger on a babies forehead without the parents realizing it. Do I qualify to be apart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe too?

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

On the bright side Seattle, the children in third world countries will always think the Seahawks won the Super Bowl thanks to unused merch.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

The Super Bowl commercials have taught me to mend the broken relationship w/ my father by purchasing a Nissan or go for an Oscar nomination.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

*Dammit, I really hope *Blink-182 doesn't decide to break up. It's the band that I use when I combine a song w/ the artist in a tweet.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

Thanks to Timehop, you can now subconsciously scroll through your "friends" newsfeed & still remember your hatred for them from a year ago.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

Facebook & Instagram are down for maintenance. Somewhere, there's a restaurant dinner plate not getting the paparazzi attention it deserves.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

I strongly believe that even though American Hustle didn't win any Oscars, the hair curlers for the actors should of least gotten something.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

The biggest conspiracy story in sports right now is a deflated ball? C'mon people, hasn't Lance Armstrong been "singled out" already?

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

Comedy Central is in talks to do a Roast of Justin Bieber. Much like his concert movie events, I'll laugh hysterically during every minute.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

American Sniper was good and all, but I've played Grand Theft Auto V with a full wanted level atop of a Strip Club. Talk about perseverance.

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

Me: "That's fine if you love someone to the moon & back, just at least bring back some rocks or Tang." Cashier: " $11.46 is your total."

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

I honestly couldn't be any happier about the people currently in my life. Feels good to leave human garbage in the past. #StayPositve

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Erik Flores @IAmErikFlores

11 years ago

Let people know that life hasn't been too kind to you lately by scraping the bottom of the salsa bowl w/ half a chip at Mexican restaurants.

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