Ibiwari Eden @IOglafa

There’s a particular type of woman dominating the urban landscape today. She has checked every box on the success list. She provides for herself, protects herself, and leads herself. On paper, she’s a triumph of modern ideology. In reality, she has become a Proxy Man. A Proxy Man is a woman who suppressed her full range to survive a system that only rewarded half of it. She has adopted every trait of a high-achieving, competitive male — focus, stoicism, and a singular drive for resource acquisition. “She cut off the parts of herself that were ‘too soft’ for the boardroom — and discovered later that those were the same parts that knew how to be loved.” This isn’t observation. High-achieving women have described it themselves. Arianna Huffington, after her 2007 collapse from exhaustion, wrote in Thrive that she had confused achievement with living — that she had built an empire and lost access to herself. She described the floor of her office, where she regained consciousness, as the moment her definition of success broke permanently. Sheryl Sandberg’s central thesis in Lean In describes a state of permanent battle-readiness that leaves women performing competently even in the absence of threat, treating every room as a negotiation and every interaction as an audition. These are not weak women. These are women who won — and still described feeling hollowed out by the cost of winning. When a woman operates within the masculine frame, she creates a vacuum in her life. Studies on long-term partnership stability consistently identify emotional differentiation — the ability of partners to occupy distinct psychological and functional roles — as one of the strongest predictors of relational longevity. Attachment research consistently finds that long-term intimacy depends on difference, not similarity. Two people who occupy the same psychological role don’t complete each other. They crowd each other. If a woman is already occupying the masculine space in a relationship — being the provider and the decider — there’s no room for a man to enter. We’ve told women they don’t need a husband. But we’ve secretly replaced him with an institution. The corporation provides the health insurance. The side business provides the protection. The salary provides the provision. You haven’t escaped a power structure — you’ve just changed which one owns your hours. For many women, the Proxy Man wasn’t a manifesto. It was a survival response. In an economy where a single income can no longer anchor a home. In a dating landscape where men are expected equal burden but offered unequal ground. In a world where depending on a man carried documented financial and personal risk, the Proxy Man was often a rational adaptation to an irrational set of options. She didn’t abandon love. She decided that exposure without reliable ground wasn’t love — it was risk with worse odds. She cancels the family holiday to do an extra bit of work She checks her work email during her own birthday dinner — not because she wants to, but because the machine has trained her that availability is survival. She’s never fully anywhere. The institution has colonized her attention. She has become a part-time inhabitant of everywhere she goes. Acute stress influences decision-making differently in men and women, with women showing significantly greater emotional and physiological residue from stress exposure. Peer-reviewed studies on oxytocin-testosterone antagonism have consistently shown that sustained high-cortisol, high-testosterone environments suppress the neurological systems most associated with relational bonding and empathy in women. When women are locked in high-stress competition mode, their capacity for relational empathy drops. Biology is not a metaphor. A woman who says “I don’t need a man” is technically correct. She can pay her own bills. But “need” is a shallow word. Any animal can survive alone. Relinquishing survival mode — that takes something the self-help industry has no product for.” Here is the objection. The real problem isn’t women; it’s a society that never built structures to support them. Better childcare. Equal pay. Men who show up. If those systems existed, the Proxy Man wouldn’t have to. That objection is correct — and insufficient. Structural change takes decades. Her cortisol doesn’t care. The argument here is not that women should accept a broken system. It’s that they should stop paying for it with their bodies while waiting for it to change. Don’t mistake softness for weakness. True elite status is the capacity to lead a company during the day and choose to be led by your partner at night. It’s the mastery of your own internal gears — a skill that the most powerful women I know have had to fight to reclaim. If you only have one gear — Attack — you aren’t powerful. You’re broken. The breaking happens quietly. It shows up in the way she responds to tenderness with suspicion. In the way a compliment lands like a negotiating tactic. In the way she flinches at softness — her own and anyone else’s — because softness was the first thing the machine asked her to give up. Reclaiming the full range isn’t a weekend retreat. It is a slow excavation of the woman she suspended to survive. Part of her is proud of what she’s built. Another part is quietly exhausted that she had to become this version of herself to build it.

The Proxy Man III Most of us have decided that materialism and money are more profound than our nature. A woman has optimized her life so perfectly that she has rendered herself unnecessary to everyone but her employer. She has the high-thread-count sheets and the king-sized bed. But she has no one to witness her silence. The travel and the luxury SUV are synthetic oxytocin replacements. Morgan Stanley projections, based on U.S. Census Bureau data, show that 45% of prime working-age women (ages 25–44) will be single by 2030 — the largest share in recorded history, up from 41% in 2018. Building a company is hard. Building a relationship where both people feel safe enough to be ordinary — that is something the achievement economy has no metric for, and no reward for, and no interest in. Men aren’t as intimidated by your success as you’ve been told. They’re disengaged by the lack of contrast it creates. A man who spends ten hours competing with other men doesn’t want to come home to a junior version of his business partner. If you provide more friction than peace, you displace his role before he has a chance to fill it. If you occupy every role, there’s no room for anyone else to enter. These are tools for your own nervous system. Not strategies for managing a man. Sit in your car for five minutes before entering your home. Release the war face — not for him, but because your cortisol doesn’t know the meeting ended. Let him choose the restaurant. Not because his preference matters more, but because the threat is gone and your grip doesn’t know it. Stop saying “I’ve got it.” Start saying “I’d love your help.” This is the difference between living in a fortress and living in a home. Take a bath. Wear soft fabrics. Signal to your body that the war is over for today. Your biology needs that cue. Give it one. The woman who can run a boardroom at noon and choose to be soft at midnight isn’t performing anything. She’s operating at full range. That’s mastery, not compromise. We don’t need a time machine. We need a biological homecoming. I think back to that woman I met some years ago. Her career was her life, and she sought to weave everything, even the man who loved her, around it with a conviction that made her choices impractical She said, I cannot joke with my career, so you must buy a house in Lekki and it has to be a few minutes away from my office. It must have a large sitting room for me to be able to host my department and junior colleagues during the weekend, so that I don't have to go to the office if the need arises. You must get a chef. I work hard, and cooking may not fit into the plan On the issue of sex, I am open to giving it anytime I am at home as long as you are willing to sleep with a woman who might sleep off while having sex due to exhaustion She was extraordinary, but at the end of the day, I had to ask myself why I would marry such a woman. Her career was her husband, and I was the side cock. She wanted me to worship her career the way she did, but I was too rich to worship anything other than God. She claimed she wanted to marry a rich, independent, and successful man like me, who does not have a career, like she did so that we can complement each other She didn't consider that a rich, independent man has a world and a life that he had built around his success, which cannot accommodate being fitted around a woman's career if it will remain a great and sustainable life. It didn't work out. Not because of my ego, but because I am a master, and her career was also a master to her. No woman can serve two masters. She either serves her career or her husband. The man must be the center, the career must be the side piece or it would never be a happy marriage. She had to choose between the career she was building and the successful man she desired. She chose her career! Nature is a patient creditor. She doesn’t send reminders. She simply collects. I don’t know if she met another man who fitted into her world as I couldn't. I do know that I met another woman a few months after I broke up with her. She was just like her, younger and more beautiful. This lady was also on a career path, but when it was time to choose, she made me the center of her world as I made her the center of mine. I wish the proxy man would learn, and I wish her good luck. -GSW-

The Proxy Man II There’s a silence that sets in around the age of thirty-five for the “successful” woman. She has been told she has all the time in the world. She can freeze her eggs and chase the C-suite. But technology can’t negotiate with the soul. I know a woman — forty-one, runs a team of thirty, bought her flat at thirty-three — who told me last year she had been dreaming about a house she grew up in. Not the house. Just the garden. She couldn’t explain it. She didn’t try very hard. The silence isn’t about eggs or timelines. It’s the moment she realizes she has been so focused on building a life that’s impressive that she forgot to build one that is inhabited. The fertility industry sells a workaround for biology. Nothing sells a workaround for years spent becoming someone she didn’t intend to be. She doesn’t grieve loudly. High-achieving women rarely do. She grieves on Sunday evenings, in the specific weight of an empty flat she designed perfectly. In the dreams she quietly retired as childish, then quietly missed. The tragedy isn’t that she ran out of time. The tragedy is that she was told time was the only variable that mattered — and believed it long enough for it to become true. Emotional Infertility It isn’t just about biological constraints. It’s about the psychological environment. A 2015 study by Bertrand, Kamenica, and Pan found that when a woman out-earns her husband, divorce becomes significantly more likely — and the psychological cost falls disproportionately on her. Women promoted to top-tier positions face significantly elevated divorce rates compared to men in equivalent roles within three years of promotion. She has become so successful at being a man that she has rendered herself emotionally unavailable because the performance of invulnerability has no off switch. The Neurological Colonization Her brain has been recalibrated by an environment that treats every interaction as a potential threat. That’s not a personality. That’s an adaptation. Our digital economy rewards the Hunter and punishes the Nurturer. The system selects for speed, control, and detachment. Her capacity for empathy doesn’t register as a feature. It registers as friction. Chronic high-performance stress floods the brain with cortisol. Sustained cortisol exposure restructures the amygdala — the brain’s threat-detection center — making it progressively more sensitive and harder to quiet. The brain, optimized for survival, begins reading neutral signals as threatening. A partner’s silence becomes a negotiation. An unplanned evening becomes a loss of control. She is not overreacting. Her brain has been rewired. This is why the traits that make you effective at work — speed, control, detachment — begin to show up in conversations that were never meant to feel like negotiations. The adaptation works. Until it doesn’t. This is not just a critique of women. Men created the vacancy the Proxy Woman filled. Most men today are competence-bankrupt — not in professional terms, but in the terms that matter for intimacy. They’ve abdicated emotional leadership. Outsourced decisiveness. Confused splitting the bill with being a partner. They show up without direction, without presence, without the grounded authority that makes a woman’s armor feel optional. When a woman meets a man like this, her biology goes into survival mode. She becomes the man because someone has to. The Proxy Man didn’t appear out of ideology. She appeared because dependency on men who weren’t dependable was a worse risk. Men who want women to soften need to first ask: have I given her anything solid enough to land on? Men are mourning the demise of true femininity When a wife or fiancée or girlfriend or partner comes home in Boss Mode, the man feels a vacancy where a woman should be. He isn’t looking for a second business partner. He’s looking for the feminine energy that makes his labor feel like it means something. He rarely says it. He barely understands it himself. But the vacancy is real. -GSW-

As Told To Say May Is The Month of Songs and Sounds of Victory Globally, the fangs and claws of war would cease for a season Personal agitations and restlessness shall equally cease Believers who are drifting away from the Spiritual reality shall find their way back It is the month of quiet and stealthy achievements The month when Songs of Praise and Shouts of Victory will cause reverberations of testimonies in every realm The words you speak this month must be deliberate and consciously seeded with praise, thanksgiving, and wisdom Remember the Lord is your portion in this life and your Salvation through all the ages The gathering of conspirators shall disperse, as ambitions would speak louder than loyalty A month of supernatural ascensions in the place of worship Visions, prophecies, Words of Wisdom, Words of Knowledge, Supernatural impressions, being moved by the Spirit, realignment, alighment, adoption Sights and Sounds of the Spirit shall be revealed to all Unreasonable blessings and gains are the hallmark of this season Expect Victory without lifting a finger in warfare Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s (2 Chronicles 20:15). In 2 Chronicles 20, we read something inspiring that King Jehoshaphat did when Judah was besieged by enemy nations. He and the armies of Judah were completely outnumbered, and in his own words, he admitted Judah’s vulnerability, but not without seeking help from the Lord. He prayed, “O our God, wilt thou not judge them? for we have no might against this great company that cometh against us; neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee” (2 Chronicles 20:12). Then, verses 14-17 tell us something beautiful; it says, “Then upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah…came the Spirit of the Lord…And he said, …Thus saith the Lord unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow go ye down against them….Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the Lord with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them: for the Lord will be with you.” Those were the Lord’s comforting and assuring words to Jehoshaphat. But notice the next thing Jehoshaphat did, in readiness to confront the invading army: he appointed singers unto the Lord, to praise the beauty of Holiness, chanting, “…Praise the Lord; for his mercy endureth for ever”(2 Chronicles 20:21). This was a song of victory. As they went on singing and marching towards the enemy’s camp, the Bible declares that “…the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten” (2 Chronicles 20:22). When Judah’s army came in from behind the singers, their entire assailants had perished, having destroyed one another. Jehoshaphat, with his army, simply took the spoil without a fight! This was an unusual strategy, and it’s for our learning. Our songs of worship and praise, in the face of daunting circumstances, spell defeat for the adversary. It doesn’t matter how severe you think the challenge is; praise and worship the Lord from His Word of victory. Regardless of the might of the adversary and adversities, never give up! Sing songs of victory. Hallelujah! And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them. And suddenly there was a great earthquake so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bands were loosed (Acts 16:25-26). Acts 16 chronicles how songs of praise from Paul and Silas resulted in a divinely orchestrated earthquake that saw to their release from an obnoxious incarceration. When you praise the Lord from your heart in the beauty of holiness, the result is a divine explosion of glory. Praise and worship the Lord in the face of daunting challenges, and His glory will be manifested in your behalf. If you desire a miracle today, whether it’s in your job or finances or even trouble at work; or perhaps it has to do with your health or that of a loved one; whatever it is, as an act of faith, set this matter before you, and begin to sing songs of praise in the spirit and also in your understanding again and again, as the spirit gives you utterance. By this act of faith, you’re invoking the power of the mighty God—the most High God—over the matter before you. You don’t have to say much. Don’t talk about the thing that’s been bothering you; keep your focus on the Lord, as you sing and dance to the Lord, chanting verses of praise to extol His majesty, the power of God will surge through your being. Don’t stop at this time; as the inspiration increases, speak in tongues again and again, until you have a note of victory. No matter what the case is, such worship will be followed by the miraculous. Rather than feel downcast, helpless or overwhelmed when you face challenges, employ the worship and praise strategy; the power of God’s Spirit will be stirred, and you’ll have a testimony. Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord (Ephesians 5:19). The term “spiritual songs” in the scripture above really doesn’t mean the spirituality of the songs in terms of their content, but that they’re songs of the spirit. It’s the same thing the Apostle Paul was talking about when he said, “For if I pray in an unknown tongue, my spirit prayeth, but my understanding is unfruitful. What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also” (1 Corinthians 14:14-15). Singing with the spirit is singing in other tongues. These songs come out of your spirit, not from your understanding. It’s similar to the way you yield your tongue to the Holy Spirit to pray in tongues, only that this time, you’re singing in other tongues and worshipping the Lord. Jesus said, “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). Worshipping in the spirit is higher. That’s the climax. You may sing and worship the Lord in your understanding, and that’s okay, but ascend higher; sing songs from your spirit; worship and relate from your spirit; it’s a deeper fellowship. The latter part of our opening scripture says, “…singing and making melody in your heart TO THE LORD.” Your songs of the spirit aren’t to the congregation or to any individual. Those listening to you may not like the way the songs sound, but you’re not singing to them; you’re singing to the Lord! It’s like praying in tongues; it’s not unto men but unto God (1 Corinthians 14:2). It brings about a divine exchange; as your spirit is passing words in the spirit to God, the Holy Ghost is passing information to your spirit. When you finish such sessions of fellowship with the Spirit, you’re literally on top of the world; no challenges move you, because your spirit has gained the dominion! At that point, you know without a doubt that you’re more than a conqueror, a victor for life! Learn to function in the spirit, with your spirit, and by the Holy Spirit. Christianity is a life of the spirit, lived from the inside out. -GSW-

Finding Peace A Christian brother found himself in a very toxic marriage. He went to his mother to complain about his wife and all the shades of hell he was passing through in the marriage His mother listened to him silently until he was done She then told him to return home and keep the peace at all costs until she visits him and his wife in a few weeks. He went home and kept the peace as his mother instructed He refused to engage his wife in any form of provocative endeavor His wife found it strange that her husband was not returning aggression for aggression They had both honed their aggressive skills in order to survive in their toxic marriage, and his sudden switch to "Man of Peace" was alien to her She tried everything to provoke him He resisted every bait She didn't know how to be with a man who simply ignores or completely disregards her "pepperish nature" It took all of two weeks for her to ask her husband for a discussion She needed to know what was wrong His silence was freaking her out Her husband told her he had always wanted a peaceful and godly life, and had always lived a peaceful and godly life until he met her He said he realised she has a restless spirit and was constantly spoiling for a fight with everybody The neighbours, church members, colleagues at work (she had been suspended twice without pay for fighting with two of her colleagues at the office in the last year, and would have been sacked but for the intervention of her mentor and godfather, who got her the job) Her husband said he began matching her energy so that he would not be consumed by her aggressive nature Instructions given to her peacefully were often met with strong resistance Questions posed to her with the expectation of a simple answer are often replied to with sarcasm or insults He said he got tired of it and began giving it back to her because he, too, was capable of aggression when it was needed. He said he, however, noticed that it was changing him. Whenever he had minor disagreements with other people, he would escalate issues quickly and unnecessarily He reminded her that she used to tell him he was too "quiet", too passive, too peaceful, too enduring, too docile, too accepting, and too allowing things to slide for the sake of peace in the first year of their marriage She wanted him to be an attack dog, to give no quarter, to be a warrior like she is He said his reputation as the reasonable one, which he had built for years before he met her, was thrown out of the window within a year of their marriage People now know that he wouldn't take rubbish and would go to war at the slightest provocation. It was draining and exhausting He was tired of it. His wife replied with her tone rising aggressively, "So you are calling me a bad wife, a troublemaker, a cantankerous woman, a narcissist, and a gaslighter. You sit there and label me right in my presence as a mad person who only causes chaos and disorder. You saw me this way before you married me. I will not be insulted and called uncultured by a man who was everybody's doormat until I came into his life. Was I not the one who successfully helped you chase away all your family members who used to come here every weekend, begging for money and draining your resources? Did you not thank me for it? Suddenly, now I am the evil woman. That is how you men behave. You have a hidden motive, you have a destination in mind, you are plotting something, and you are looking for an excuse to execute your plan. Don't gaslight me so that you can feel good about the evil you want to do. Like Jesus told Judas, What you have to do, please do quickly so that I can move on with my life. Rubbish" When she was done, she stormed out of the room and slammed the door. Her husband sighed, turned to his pillow, and slept. He knew she would remain agitated all night, and he was resolved not to engage her whenever she was in that state anymore She didn't know how else to relate to people. Even the ones she was meeting for the first time. It was always war. "He didn't greet me properly." Was her remark when she met his boss "She was looking at me with disdain." Was her remark when she met the gynaecologist for the first time "Her outfit was too crass." Was her remark when she met his cousin "He is a snob," Was her remark when she met his best friend "She is proud." Was her remark when she met the pastor's wife He could remember wondering how any woman could be so negative towards everything and everyone. He could also remember wondering how, of all the men in the world, he was the one who had to marry her. His wife slept on the couch that night. Usually, he would have waited an hour or two until she calmed down before going to apologise to her in order to bring her back to their bed, but on this occasion, he didn't go after her. He didn't see the need to. His mother arrived at their house very early the next morning Since his wife was the one in the sitting room, she was the one who heard his mother's voice and knock on the door. She refused to leave the couch She also didn't pretend to be asleep She sat there and refused to move until his mother walked around the house to knock on his bedroom window. He woke up, ran to the door, and was shocked to see his wife seated with her arms across her chest, puffed up like a volcano waiting to erupt. Usually, he would not allow his mother in when his wife was in such a mood He would stylishly step outside to talk to his mother while making an excuse like "My wife has a migraine and any sort of noise would disturb her. Can we take a drive or talk quickly in the compound?" But he was tired of protecting her and covering up her combustible nature He felt it was better if his mother saw the practical side of the conversation he had had with her several weeks before. His mother came in and greeted his wife. His wife hissed and rolled her eyes His mother asked what was wrong He kept quiet His wife kept quiet His mother read the room and said to her son, "Excuse us, let me have a discussion with my wife." His wife roared with laughter and said, "Who do you people think you want to put in the middle? Me?? You must be joking. Your son called you to come here and play good cop, bad cop with me, and you came. Did he not tell you that I was not from a foolish lineage? When you are done, both of you will bring out what you have planned so that everybody will know where they belong in this house" When she was done, she sashayed into the room. Her husband looked at his mother His mother also looked at him The next step to take would have been to call his wife's parents and report their daughter for disrespecting his mother, but he dared not do that. His wife's mother is not pepper, she is teargas. He had been privileged to go to the police station to bail out his wife's mother before. She fought with a neighbour and blinded her in one eye. He and his wife paid the hospital bill of the victim and the compensation the victim's family demanded so that the case would not be charged to the court. It was a rabid dog situation If you pity the dog, it will bite, and whoever it bites will die of rabies If you kill the dog, people will accuse you of killing man's best friend. His mother asked him if there had been any physical abuse in the marriage He told her his wife had charged at him with a knife once, and that there was another time when they were driving to church, and she aggressively tried to take over the steering wheel in anger because he said something that infuriated her. His mother told him to dress up and go to his office. After he left, his mother went to the motor garage and rented a huge truck She also got six strong men She took them to the house and told them to pack everything belonging to her son into the truck The wife was in the room when they started packing She heard movement in the sitting room, opened her door, and saw what was going on She could have tried to talk to her mother-in-law, call the church pastor, the neighbours, anybody to intervene, or she could have gone on her knees and begged her to give her a second chance to do better. She stood and started telling the movers the things that belonged to her so that they would not make the mistake of taking her things along with those of her husband. By 2 pm, they were done She went back to her room as her mother-in-law led the truck to an unknown destination. When her husband closed from the office that day, his mother was waiting for him She took him to a new apartment she had secured for him She said, "You didn't divorce that woman; I divorced her for you in order to preserve your life." A week after their last fight, his wife reached out. She wanted to talk She wanted them to find a resolution She wanted them to discuss as adults and see if things could be salvaged He didn't respond to her calls and messages She reached out to his colleagues at work and his friends, but they all ignored her Their church pastor tried to make a case for her, but it fell on deaf ears Where the tree had fallen, let it lie there said Solomon. The marriage lasted three years; fortunately, they didn't have any children. PS: You can choose not to be like your mother or your father You can choose not to be aggressive You can choose not to be a troublemaker As much as it is within your power, be at peace with all men, says the Scriptures Check these impulses Check the toxicity Put your bulldogness in check The husbands of troublesome women often live on rooftops far away from their wives The wives of troublesome men often raise the children alone for the sake of peace People are not the problem; you are Nobody is out to get you. Choose to live a life of peace This is a special love note to two of my daughters, Yedidiah and Roila A father must try his best to raise marriage-worthy daughters I am trying to, please let my efforts not be in vain. -GSW-

Jealousy Limits Your Destiny II I dislike talking about jealousy When I see it in anyone, I distance myself from such a person I have seen firsthand the destructive power it has over its victims Not only in the way it twists their minds and contorts their ability to reason, but also in the way it rules over their bodies I have seen people who claim to be in love get so jealous that they kill the person they claimed to love In some other instances, I have seen the so-called jealous person become so imprisoned by this emotion that he or she loses the rest of mind, peace, and the ability to govern his or her body due to jealousy A friend claims she cannot stand disloyalty in her friends, and no friend of hers must ever have any form of conversation with someone she loves in her absence To her, loving someone gives her the exclusive right to the person’s space and time, and no other person who is regarded as her friend should ever cross that line On the surface, this seems reasonable until she was going to clock 30 and her fiancé decided to throw a surprise party for her In order for the surprise party idea to work out, the fiancé needed to work hand in glove with her best friend of over twenty years Ironically, she was the one who tacitly suggested the idea of a surprise party to her fiancé, claiming she wished her friends or colleagues at the office would throw one for her She suddenly noticed that her boyfriend’s pattern of behaviour deviated from the norm He would tell her he had a meeting on days he usually would be free, and he would pick up calls away from her vicinity The entire deviation lasted about a month She knew her fiancé was keeping a secret from her and automatically assumed he was having an affair One day, she decided to play James Bond in order to discover what he was up to She tailed him to a restaurant and saw with her two eyes that he was meeting with her best friend She stewed in this sight for hours, considering many scenarios and permutations She noticed that most of the time her fiancé had been missing, or on a call, her friend had also not been available She concluded her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her best friend Once she reached this conclusion, the next step for her was retaliation She needed to teach both parties a lesson She somehow got her hands on a bucket of acid and poured it on her best friend just three days before her birthday party She also poisoned freshly made watermelon and left it in her boyfriend’s fridge, knowing he would drink it long after she had prepared it and then die. She did this on the 16th of July, 2025. Thank God for the power of the Holy Spirit that arrested the acid and limited its impact on the spot Thank God for the medical help that came swiftly, and the help and support of believers who rallied to help financially, so that the right chemicals were used to neutralize the impact of the acid within an hour of the incident Thank God for the swift arrest of the jealous friend by the Holy Spirit, which led to her quick remorse when she was told what had been going on. The fiancé was informed about the poisoned drink in his fridge before he could take it Now she is in police custody Her family members were unable to sleep all night because they needed to beg their friend and her family members not to press charges They needed to beg the pastor of both friends to intervene using the spirit of God to help them set free someone who allowed herself to become consumed by a dark spirit of destruction Her family members were claiming mental exhaustion and begging that she will get therapy She didn’t consider her future and the future of the two people she claimed to have loved the most in the world, whose lives she decided to take because she is a “jealous” person Some people think jealousy is something they should be flattered about in their partners They don’t know it is a strange fire that could cost them their destinies Someone said the opposite of jealousy is apathy Apathy is a state of indifference and lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern The person is very wrong Jealousy is being possessive, suspicious, envious, domineering, controlling, invidious, mistrustful, jaundiced, overprotective, insecure and selfish love. The opposite of jealousy is selfless love; it is undemanding, uncontrolling, trustful, understanding, generous, kind, benevolent, charitable, kind-hearted, well-meaning, altruistic, freeing, and liberating. True love has become so scarce nowadays, most people treat investing their emotions in another person the way they treat investing their money in a ponzi scheme If you save your money in a bank with all the right insurances and certifications, you usually go to sleep with your two eyes closed When you invest in a scheme that you know can crash at any time, you lose your peace Most people do not find that peace and trusting devotion in love anymore Love has become a prison, and the beloved is the warden of the prison We live in an era where checking each other’s phones and eavesdropping on conversations have become the norm There are apps now meant to feed our jealousy by granting us access to our partner’s phones, messages, and chats so that we can monitor them for our peace of mind I remember discussing with a “wife” once and asking her why she was checking her husband’s messages daily She said she believes it is the right thing to do, and she can never stop doing it She and her husband are divorced now Not because he cheated, but because her paranoia made her unstable and scared her husband into abandoning the marriage As I write this, there is a 29-year-old in police custody, her future has already been coloured by Jealousy, and there is another 29-year-old in the hospital battling for her life, while there is a 32-year-old man who spent the whole night crying and regretting trying to put together a surprise party for his babe. We all should learn a lesson from this and eschew jealousy completely If you can’t love freely, you need not love at all. PS: We were able to raise some support for the treatment of the sister in the hospital The burns and damages were mostly towards her scalp and back She is still taking treatment, and every support we can get still counts If you are led to help, please send me a message on +2348072744871 WhatsApp or on Twitter DM I ask that we all learn a lesson from this Pay attention to your emotions If you notice you are a jealous person, resist that spirit fiercely Make it a part of your declaration from the place of conviction I am a product of love, i love freely and I am worthy of love without any form of encuberance I love selflessly as Gid has always loved me from the beginning Blessed Be God.

Jealousy Limits Your Destiny People become jealous and envious when they desire the other person’s success or advantage. — A good example in the Bible was King Saul who became envious of David, because of how the people praised him for defeating Goliath (1 Samuel 18:7). — And as a result of his envy, he tried to kill David (1 Samuel 19:10). When you see those who are doing well and are being praised for their work, be genuinely excited for them and rejoice with them! Rather than becoming envious or critical, look out for what you can learn from them to improve yourself. Don’t be threatened by the prosperity or success of others; be happy for them, and celebrate them the way you’d like to be celebrated. Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Proverbs 14:30 A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones. Proverbs 14:30 AMPC A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones. Give a genuine compliment to someone today. It could be for how well-dressed they are, how beautifully they sing, or how excellently they performed in a class project. Praise the good work done by others and rejoice with them over their success, don't criticize them and allow envy to eat you up all the time. For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one (Job 5:2). Often times, people get critical and envious of others instead of seeing the good done by them; it’s an ugly spirit! Never allow it in your life. This ugly attitude was what moved Saul to try to kill David after David killed Goliath: “And Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with the javelin; but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, and he smote the javelin into the wall…” (1 Samuel 19:10). Saul was envious of David’s success, because of how others praised him: “And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7). The fact that someone else is succeeding doesn’t mean you’re failing; you measure your success by what God has called you to do. So when you see those who are doing well, and are being praised for their work, rejoice with them! Be genuinely excited for them! Rather than become bitter or critical, look out for what you can learn from them! People become jealous and envious only when they are inordinately desirous of another’s advantages. If you walk in love, you’ll never be jealous of anyone, for you know you couldn’t ever be disadvantaged in any way! As members of the same body of Christ, the success of one is the success of all; when one wins, he wins for us all! That’s because God’s desire is for every one of us to prosper and excel! Thus, instead of being threatened by the prosperity of others, be happy for them, and never criticize them for it. Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily (1 Corinthians 13:4 AMPC). The Bible tells us that God is love (1 John 4:8); love is His nature—who He is. When we talk about the attributes of love, therefore, we’re talking about the attributes of God. Apply this to our theme verse and it’ll read, “God endures long and is patient and kind; God never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, God is not boastful or vainglorious, God does not display Himself haughtily.” Hallelujah! Recall how Jesus lived when He walked the earth; He was love manifested. His works were works of love. His words were words of love. He was love in motion. Jesus in Galilee was the intrusion of love in the streets of Galilee. Love invaded that atmosphere. Now, what about you? The Bible says you’re God’s offspring (1 Peter 1:23), meaning that you’re the reproduction of love. The offspring of an eagle would be an eagle. The offspring of a human would be a human. The offspring of Love (God), therefore, is love! So, if your name is Philip, for example, you should say, “Philip endures long; Philip is patient and kind. Philip is never envious nor boils over with jealousy. Philip is not boastful or vainglorious. Philip does not display himself haughtily.” Praise God! God’s Word shows us who we are; it’s a mirror. When you look at that mirror, don’t forget what you look like: patient, kind, tolerant, loving, and humble. If arrogance or hatred tries to gain vent through you, refuse and declare, “I’m not arrogant; I’m humble. I’m full of love as Jesus is; I live in His Name; therefore, I walk and act like Him.” Let the love of Christ, which is the bond of perfection, rule your heart always. Lavishly express the love-nature of God in your spirit and radiate the beauty and glories of heaven to your world. You might want to ask, “If someone who's born again realizes that he has hatred, anger, bitterness, jealousy, envy, pride, etc., in his heart, how should he get rid of them? Should he pray to God to take them away?" First, you need to know who a Christian is; he's someone whose spirit has been recreated by God, and the recreated human spirit has certain distinct features, such as love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, and faith. Hatred, anger, bitterness, jealousy, envy, and pride aren't features of the recreated human spirit; so, refuse to harbor them. Look into your spirit and bring forth love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, and faith. You have these beautiful features in your spirit. You may call them the "produce" of the human spirit, because you're a tree of righteousness. The Bible says the love of God is shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Spirit ( Romans 5:5); this means there's no room in your heart for hatred, bitterness, jealousy, and all such negativities. Those are the works of the flesh. And God didn't tell us to pray about them. What he tells us is to put them off! If that weren't possible for you to do, He wouldn't have said so. What you should do when there seems to be a manifestation of the works of the flesh in your life is to use your mouth! Declare that there's love in your heart. That's what you start with. You might ask, "Must I say it?" Yes, you must say it, and continue to say it, because your mouth is the rudder that controls your life, and I walk in love!" The more you say it, the greater the manifestation and expression of the love of Christ in your life. You're born with the nature of God in your heart; you have the life of God in you. Be more conscious of the features of your spirit, and let your words and actions be consistent with your true nature. PS: I had to reflect deeply on the dangers of jealousy overnight. I know that green-eyed monster and fought its power with all my strength for many years. I have seen a mother who denied her own children the opportunity to travel abroad or to any other country out of jealousy. She said their father loves them more than he loves her, and she seized their passports and refused to release them despite every form of entreaty. Jealous people often claim it is a sign of love They insist they can only be jealous of someone if they have feelings for the person and as such they feel jealousy is a good thing Those who think this way don’t understand the difference between selfish love and selfless love Loving someone for your selfish advantage is what automatically breeds jealousy in the heart of anyone If you love someone selflessly, you allow the person to live his or her life free of your control and fear Many of us can’t love selflessly, so we use jealousy as a weapon to keep a watch over our investment and express our fears in the guise of not being foolish Cain killed Abel out of jealousy Jealousy makes you do things that can redefine your life and destroy your future Jealousy is a work of the flesh; believers must eschew it. -GSW-

Dumbing Down II "By Faith, this is the last rent I am paying as a single lady. If you support me to pay this rent, by the grace of God, this time next year, I will be in my husband's house." is back begging for support to pay another rent. Not because God didn't bring eligible suitors her way, but because her PASTOR has replaced the Holy Spirit in her life. Pastors ruin a lot of destinies when they insist on playing God instead of their primary role as destiny guides. Many members have submitted their free will to their pastors, giving their pastors the power that God himself didn't take from us from the dawn of creation. When you take the ability of the individual to act as a free agent in the name of religion, you reduce him or her to a puppet and yourself to a puppeteer. You want to pull the strings of the lives of thousands of born-again Christians at the same time while rendering them useless to follow their paths in Christ and grow into mature sons. I was at a Church in Anthony village about three years ago to minister, and I met this young man who was schooled at a very prestigious university in the USA. He was the in-house IT consultant of the church, and the pastor placed him on a monthly stipend while he was working for God. It was the Pastor who introduced the young man to me while boasting that God had given him the most capable hands to help him in ministry. I asked him if he had any Python, Java, cloud engineering, data management, digital marketing, coding, or similar tasks available for the young man in the church. He said no. I said, "You are giving this young man the job that any young school leaver who is proficient in computer appreciation can do, and you don't see it as limiting his capabilities and rendering his skills obsolete?" You would rather boast that you are ruining a destiny to build up your own profile rather than set this young man on the path of excellence? Did God call him into ministry as a preacher? Is he understudying you in preparation for his own ministry? The pastor said, "No, I plan that as the church expands, he will head our digital infrastructure and position us for the future." I said, "He can do that as a consultant or even as a member, he shouldn't be doing that while you are paying him 100,000 Naira a month. He should be out there, flying with his peers and earning in dollars! The only exception is if the Lord has called him to be a preacher and he is understudying you as your personal assistant, as led by the Lord as part of his season of preparation. Anything other than that is injurious to his destiny!" The pastor had never seen it that way When I was done ministering in the church, the young man hugged me and thanked me profusely. He said his mother sent him to the pastor when he returned from the USA and the pastor immediately told him that God had need of him in the ministry or he would die without fulfilling his purpose. Why do pastors do this? I have another case from the Northern part of Nigeria. A young lady reached out to me seeking clarity regarding her future She said her Apostle told her she has been raised by God to sing in his church choir, but she is a medical doctor by training and desires to further her studies abroad Every time she raised the issue with the Apostle, he shut her down and told her she was struggling with the will of God "Why can't you just submit to God and serve in the choir and watch as God will take your voice all over the world as this ministry grows?" The young lady said she knows she has a good voice and sings very well as one who is full of the Holy Spirit, but she does not want to be "Sinach", she wants to fulfil her dream of practising as a Pediatrician. She was wary of incurring the wrath and curse of the Apostle, however, and did not know how to extricate herself from the situation. The apostle did not see anything wrong with his actions because he was a user of people who believed that in order to fulfill his own desire to become a big ministry, others could not thrive and grow in their visions and ministries as ordained by God. This is witchcraft. It is not of God. Jesus didn't lead his disciples this way. Insecurity is the undoing of many African so-called Pastors and Spiritual leaders, and they hide behind the illusion of divinity to put others in bondage. I experienced this firsthand as a young graduate, so I understand how a pastor trying to build his ministry could see the potential in a young man or woman and try very hard to turn such a person into servants and house helps in the name of discipling them or training them for kingdom relevance You graduate from the University and join the labour force, you apply for many jobs, and at a point, you tell yourself it is important to seek supernatural guidance in your quest to fulfil destiny Somebody somewhere tells you about a church or a ministry, you join, and you are convinced the church is good. You also tell your friends, and they join. But you are all fresh graduates who are heading into the future one way or the other, but this pastor wants you to be his flock. To him, his church of ten members had suddenly become a church of 30 members because of you guys, and he wants to keep the numbers growing, so he begins to give you prophesies that were not of God but with the aim of keeping you in the fold for as long as possible. He told young graduates who ought to go for NYSC that God is telling him they should give it up for service to God in the vineyard. The mother of two of the ladies in the fellowship, whose daughters told that the pastor told them not to go for NYSC, quickly removed them from the fellowship before the seed of corruption being planted by this pastor would bear fruit The others also left as soon as they could gather their wit People who you ought to guide on their path in sincerity ran as far as they could from you based on how you chose to manipulate rather than nurture them. A married woman whose husband worked abroad was a trained secretary, and while her husband was abroad, catering to the needs of the family, he begged her to stop working so that she could focus on raising the children. She was raising five children all by herself, and combining this with a job seemed a bit too much at the time. One of the vital institutions for raising godly children was the church This woman attended church regularly with her children and even volunteered to spend any free time she had typing the pastor's sermons, Sunday School pamphlets, handouts, books, journals, and other church reports and documents She was not officially employed to do the work; she just saw that she could take some of the secretarial duties on during her downtime, and she did so with all sincerity. The church enjoyed her free services for five years until the pastor forgot completely that she was doing the church a favour One day, the woman came to church to tell the pastor that her husband would be returning home to visit the family, and she would not be available for a few days because she had to pick her husband up from the airport and ensure that he settled in properly. Unfortunately, that weekend was the weekend of the church's anniversary, and the pastor had a lot of secretarial work to do. He told the woman God said she should pick one. Heaven or marriage. He said if she goes to pick her husband from the airport, she has chosen the world and forsaken the Lord. The woman wept all the way home, It was not the thank you, thou faithful servant report she had worked day and night for many years to get that she received. She went to pick her husband from the airport and distanced herself from any church founded by any individual after that experience. She said the ambition of church founders requires that they use people to build, even though they lacked the resources to pay or compensate such people, so they resort to blackmail, coercion, lies, fake prophesies, promises, and manipulations to get things done while keeping their followers on a leash. Followers are also enablers as they refuse to read the Bible for themselves and walk in the light of the word of God. No one should be able to take you captive in the name of God, Jesus, all the angels, or any form of miracle if you know the word of God. The word of God is profitable to make one wise, and therefore, anyone who knows the word of God cannot fall victim to any false doctrine, teaching, spiritual manipulations, or lies. All the false teachings of someone being a covering for someone else came from these manipulative narratives, and believers should be wise to them. I have seen a pastor declare that his church is the only church in Africa that is licensed by God to take people to heaven, and some members believed him. The day he said that, all his members ought to laugh, pick up their Bibles, and leave without looking back. Self-aggrandisement has become the order of the day in some churches, the pastor sells himself as the be-all and end-all of the member's spiritual enlightenment, and the members sheepishly surrender their eyes of their understanding to him or her. He or she must determine where they work, whom they marry, who they associate with, whose music they must listen to, and whose sermons they must hear. If they want to travel, he must see if the road is clear on their behalf, if they want to build a house, he must approve, if he does not dedicate their baby, the baby is illegitimate. This is not the faith Christ or the Apostles died for. Jesus died that you might be free of religion. Christianity is not a religion, it is the opposite. It is individualistic and determined by the faith and belief system of the one rather than the many. Salvation, therefore, is a personal affair, and the baptism of the Holy Spirit is also a personal affair Religion is the opium of the masses, and Christianity is the salvation of the individual and his or her walk with God. When we fellowship together, we do so not so we can get brainwashed by one "super Christian" but so that we can minister to the Lord and minister to one another in the presence of God. Every believer must hold this truth to be self-evident. PS: Someone sent me the video of a pastor condemning a song recently released by a fellow believer, which is making a global impact The Pastor represents an old school of Christians who are unfit to be custodians of the gospel due to their rigidity and limited understanding of the finished work of Christ. Disciples of the gospel of Works and Performance lack creativity and discernment but are good stewards of rigidity and religious doctrines. In other words, a Pharisee must act like one, and Jesus must act like Jesus. We are all just being true to our nature. "I can never go back o No...No It's already too late o No...No Where Am I going to... No...No" If you read to this point, when I was in Spain, I asked a very important question about a meal. If you know the answer, I'm inside the comment section. -GSW-

Dumbing Down Dear Brother Gbenga, I had the opportunity to right my wrong with her I had the opportunity to make right what I knew I had done wrong I reached out to her and I told her my intention I did everything out of both love and the desire to correct a wrong in which I was an active participant I owned my mistakes, and I was willing to make amends The first thing I noticed was that she had blocked me on every platform I sent emails, I sent messages on iMessages, Snapchat, and even through her sister I was engaged when we met She was twenty-eight at the time, and she offered to help me proofread my MSc dissertation I was working at the time and also studying for my Master’s Degree We met in that class at UNILAG I didn’t lie to her about my relationship She was not my kind of girl in looks, and I can say this forever She was beautiful in her own way, and I saw that beauty too But I have never been comfortable around anyone whose primary language I do not speak or understand I have never been able to cope with being with someone and not knowing what the person and her family members are saying when you are among them I once dated outside my tribe, and it was a big struggle When I went with that lady for a family function, I just tuned out and occupied my mind with other things When she came to our own family function too, she felt ill at ease because she couldn’t flow with the conversations The relationship didn’t last for more than six months I learned my lesson from that… Marry someone whose language you also speak I do not speak for everyone, but to myself, I try to always be true How we began to have sex was funny She sent me a message out of the blue that she would be coming to Abuja to visit her older sister, who just had a baby I was working in Abuja, even though I was based in Lagos during my M.Sc I told her to let me know when she got to town She did, and I went to pick her up for a drink We went to the park My intention was to have a friendly chat with her and bid her farewell When we got to the park, she said, “This is not what I had in mind on my first visit to Abuja.” I said, What do you have in mind? She said, “Somewhere peaceful where I can steal a nap before going back to my sister’s chaotic house.” We got into my car, and she told me all about coping with her sister’s three toddlers and the new baby We got to a hotel and I booked a room She said I should come up and watch her sleep We got into the room, within ten minutes, her period came, and she was not prepared for it I had to run here and there to get her what she needed to tidy up The bedsheet of the hotel room was splattered with blood We were afraid that if she left it, someone might use it for ritual purposes She washed everything All through it, she kept apologizing Because I grew up as the only boy among six sisters, I was not embarrassed at all If anything, I was relieved because I didn’t know what would have happened in that room while we were there if not for the period I am not naive, I know all the talk about the chaos in her sister’s house and asking me to come up and watch her sleep were a gimmick She wanted something The issue was that I didn’t know if I wanted to give it to her or not My wedding was a few months away, even though my wife-to-be at the time was studying for her masters in the UK I have never been randy or unstable as a young man When I dated, I did, but always with my eyes on the one I have always seen hopping skirts as a weakness in people, and I was built for strength I got her back home that day, and we didn’t have the chance to see again for three months By the end of that third month, she was returning to Lagos to interview for a job offer She called me and told me she would be travelling by night bus I told her I have an unused plane ticket that I could trade in for her so she could fly back to Lagos We went to do the trade-in in and she paid the difference She got her ticket, but we ended up having a whole day in which she was away from her sister’s house and had nothing to do until the next morning, when she would fly to Lagos on the first flight We ended up in a hotel again, and this time we had sex I was not tricked into it, and neither was she I cannot say who brought up the conversation, but we both wanted to have sex without any form of entanglement It was clearly spelled out, and she meant it as much as I did So the sex was good, so good that neither of us slept all night The next morning, she got to the airport and flew I forgot about it and moved on The lady I was dating got pregnant for her Project supervisor in the UK He was married, and she would sometimes visit him at home to make use of his architectural studio for her work Somehow, she got pregnant, and her family got to know about it That was the end of my knowledge on the matter because as soon as she got pregnant, i was just cut off No information from her or anyone I know in her family No formal farewell or breakup I was just deleted We both dodged a bullet in a way She didn’t have to deal with me, the most dependable guy she knew, who had somehow slipped in her absence I also didn’t have to deal with her, the “ I will keep my virginity till I marry” babe who got pregnant for another woman’s husband It was not a lie that she was a virgin; I was just not man enough to take it from her, and when she found the man who was man enough, she gave it to him These were my thoughts those days when I was posted to Lagos by my office to lead a team of engineers executing a contract with an aviation company When I got to Lagos, I gave her a call She told me she was in a relationship with a guy from her tribe In fact, she was with him when she picked up my call Why did I call? Well, to say hi and maybe sleep with her again I know I always go from known to the unknown when I am searching for a lady to have a relationship with She was the unknown who has now become known Eventually, I will meet an unknown through a known, or a known who is free and willingly I knew it was a matter of time, but it still didn’t make the wait any easier Then she reached out a month later, asking me if I was still in Lagos I said I was, and she asked me where I was I told her, and she came that evening with an overnight bag We talked a bit, had sex, and I stopped halfway into the whatever I was not feeling her the way I did in Abuja, it felt too restrained, like a vengeance sex or a remorse sex I asked her what was wrong She said she had broken up and promised herself not to be with anybody casually again I laughed and told her I am fine with not having it, but if I have it she must enjoy it I didn’t like that it was feeling forced or unwilling, or like taking advantage of someone I turned around to sleep, and she switched her mood and got to work The tigress was back! Awwwwwwn!!! It was like that almost every weekend for the next two years I was not looking to marry anybody because I wanted someone from my tribe She was not willing to marry outside of her tribe, either She said, “How will I introduce you to my Father? Say I no see any Igbo man to marry, na Yoruba i come bring? My father would be disappointed in me.” Then I met a lady at work, an engineer from a good family who just returned to Nigeria from the USA after graduating from the Maryland University and working for two years with Tesla By this time, the weekend arrangements had begun to peter out because she had found religion and had become born again I think after she went to church over and over and started complaining about our being together as being a sin, and then joining another church where she met some sisters with whom she started fellowshipping, and so on, it stopped The night it ended formally was when she came to see me at the hotel, and I had slept off in my room I slept off while waiting for her She called several times, got angry, and left I called her while she was in the Uber, asked her to please turn the Uber around and come back but she said she was coming to break up with me, and now that I had slept off and embarrassed her by sleeping off instead of waiting for her, I should consider us broken up. I went to her office the next day to apologise It was not my intention to disrespect her She was resolute that it was a sign from God for her to stop sleeping with me I said okay The American returnee lady I met turned out to be a total waste of time A wanderer at heart who does not stay in one place for a month before she starts feeling icky and uncomfortable I tried to accommodate her excesses and keep up with her madness, but I had to tell myself after six months that I was chasing the wind I realised I needed to take a break from relationships and do a proper audit of my life I was thirty-six, single, gainfully employed, and all that Then something happened which I did not plan or envisage I met the Lord, and I got born again. It happened one evening while i was taking a walk at Akowonjo Area of Lagos I was lodged in a hotel for work, and i suddenly felt like taking a stroll after spending hours working on my laptop As I walked down the street from my hotel, I met a group of Christians doing evangelism One of them walked with me and spoke to me about the Lord Jesus It was not as if I had not had many approach me with the message of eternal life before This day happened to be the greatest day of my life, which God had set aside as the day I would become a Son I gave my life to Jesus that day, and my life became brand new After I came to know the Lord, the desire to be single while hopping from bed to bed left me I knew I needed to get married and start a family I searched my heart, and all I saw was her This was why I resumed my pursuit of her this time with the intention of marrying her I sent her a message that I was relocating from Nigeria to the USA, and I would like to say goodbye She saw it and unblocked me after several tries She asked how I was doing and why I was relocating I told her I just wanted her to unblock me so that we could talk She got angry and started screaming at me on the phone She said I was a user, I brainwashed her, I led her into perdition, the pastor and sisters in her fellowship had convinced her i was the devil with horns It was pathetic Religion ruins objectivity and sound reasoning I had always known that, and for that reason, I keep away from it How can anyone tell you what is not true, and you believe it They told you to cut me off, and you did because you now belong to Jesus, but they have offered you no alternative that makes your life any better The Jesus they sold her had her resign her job and become a volunteer in church without pay The Jesus they sold her had her calling her pastor Daddy and becoming the admin of the church’s fellowship activities for free They pay her to organize programmes, she does this and does not get paid, and I am the devil! I listened to her accusations upon accusations, and I wondered if she was talking to me or about me She cut the call at a point and told me never to call her again. I swallowed it and told myself I didn’t deserve the bile, but it is well She then called me back to apologise for the way she spoke, saying she was raised better than that We got talking and she mentioned that she dated someone after me for three months, the person was married, but it was my fault because I got her used to sleeping with me that when she began to feel like having sex, she slept with the man that was available It was not gaslighting, it was an afterburner effect, but I swallowed it Then she told me how broke she was, and it was true She had moved out of her apartment because she had resigned from her job She had sold her car and sewn the money in the fellowship as a token I told her I wanted to marry her She said I will have to come to her fellowship to see her pastor and tell him directly because she has covenant people over her destiny, and she can’t make a decision without them She sent me the man’s number and name I said I would rather speak with her parents and family members She said I was not ready I left her be after that It was clear that she had been brainwashed by low IQ thinkers, who she was much smarter than I travelled to the USA for a course. Two weeks later, two days after I arrived in the US, she called me She needed help with her rent I sent her all the required funds for the rent I sent it, not the fellowship, not her church papa, or the covenant sisters She replied to me by saying she told her pastor about me, and he told her to ask me to pay her rent to test if I was serious When I got back from the USA, she said she would like us to meet, but she would not come to my hotel I asked if I could come to her house, and she said no We met at a restaurant She said she needed a new phone, some money to sort out some personal and family affairs, and some money for her ticket to fly to Kenya for a fellowship programme I gave her everything she wanted She sorted herself out, travelled to Kenya, and returned with pictures, etc Then she said she would like us to meet again, and I obliged her This time, she said I must talk to her pastor and introduce her to the man of God who is a covering over me, before we can talk about marriage I said no I will not meet your fellowship people, I will have nothing to do with them, and if you marry me, you will have nothing to do with them, too She stood up and left. I didn’t bother following her or trying to reason with her She was not the person I did M.Sc with, that girl was either dead or broken beyond repair She was a zombie, programmed to think and talk in a certain way that will only end in tears for her and whoever she ends up with, unless the person is from that fellowship and they share that same mind-numbing belief system I was still there, seated and lost in thought, when I heard my name I looked up and it was Kennedy, a lady I met briefly when I went on a sightseeing tour of MIT It took me a minute to recognize her and then place her face at a restaurant in Nigeria “What are you doing in Nigeria? I asked her “Husband shopping,” she replied I laughed, and she did not I said I was also doing wife shopping and told her what transpired just a few minutes before We had lunch and just talked and laughed She said she was considering relocating to Nigeria from the USA, but only if she finds her own husband in Nigeria I have never felt like living anywhere outside Nigeria, and I don’t want to be with a woman who could manipulate me to live outside Nigeria anytime in the future So even though the energy was right, the thinking was right, and the conversation was superb, I didn’t take Kennedy seriously We saw again the next day, and she asked me what I was looking for in a woman I told her, “You, but without the attachment to America.” She laughed and said What do I mean by that? i said, “You live in the USA, came to Nigeria to shop for a husband, and will then move back to the USA That is not how I will live my life. I plan to build an engineering firm of global standing in Nigeria and travel abroad only for my vacations.” She smiled and said You have yourself a wife.” I got married to Kennedy six months later She is a born-again Christian, but her brain is functioning well We have stimulating conversations, and we laugh over everything as if we share a cloud of joy that is exclusive to us She got pregnant in March, we are three months gone now Hippeeeeee! I got a message from the one who walked away yesterday This was why I decided to write this story Her rent, the one I paid last year is due and she does not have the money to pay, she took in a room mate from the fellowship hoping that one will pay half of the money while she paid the other but that one too works for the fellowship on a volunteer basis and has no income She reached out to her covering, the pastor, and he told her to reach out to me again and see if God will use me for her again “I told her God did not use me the first time, I wanted to make peace with my conscience, especially after her outburst, but now I owe her nothing. I wished her luck and encouraged her to please block me because I have found the wife I was looking for, and there is no point to our conversations anymore.” She replied to me, asking if I was indeed married or joking, but I didn’t bother to dignify her call with a response. PS: A lot of church and fellowship leaders like dumbing down their members By so doing, they make them pliable, malleable, and gullible This makes them easy to lead and constrain to the authority of individuals who claim they have a right from God to rule over their minds and intellect and make decisions for them regarding their lives and destinies This is not biblical, and it is an affront to the person of the Holy Spirit Christians should be wary of such individuals who label themselves as covering for the members of their church and those who claim to be the only ones who can see visions and hear from God on their behalf Why did Jesus leave and give us the Holy Spirit? That we may have the Alos Parakletos, the One like him in Spirit, who will dwell in us and lead us into all truth Spirituality is not the absence of intelligence or wisdom, it enhances our ability to make the right decisions Believers must do better, and so must all the leaders of his church if they hope to leave a truly enduring legacy

How We See Us. Imagine that a hundred people are prescribed a drug. Consider what happens next. One- third of them won’t fill the prescription. Half of the remaining sixty-seven will fill it, but won’t take the medication correctly. They’ll miss doses. They’ll quit taking it early. They might not even take it at all. Physicians and pharmacists tend to blame such patients for their noncompliance, inaction and error. You can lead a horse to water, they reason. Psychologists tend to take a dim view of such judgments. They are trained to assume that the failure of patients to follow professional advice is the fault of the practitioner, not the patient. Here’s something worse. Imagine that someone receives an organ transplant. Imagine it’s a kidney. A transplant typically occurs only after a long period of anxious waiting on the part of the recipient. Only a minority of people donate organs when they die (and even fewer when they are still alive). Only a small number of donated organs are a good match for any hopeful recipient. This means that the typical kidney transplant recipient has been undergoing dialysis, the only alternative, for years. Dialysis involves passing all the patient’s blood out of his or her body, through a machine, and back in. It is an unlikely and miraculous treatment, so that’s all good, but it’s not pleasant. It must happen five to seven times a week, for eight hours a time. It should happen every time the patient sleeps. That’s too much. No one wants to stay on dialysis. Now, one of the complications of transplantation is rejection. The body does not like it when parts of someone else’s body are stitched into it. The immune system will attack and destroy such foreign elements, even when they are crucial to the person's survival. To stop this from happening, the recipient must take anti-rejection drugs, which weaken immunity, increasing their susceptibility to infectious disease. Most people are happy to accept the trade-off. Recipients of transplants still suffer the effects of organ rejection, despite the existence and utility of these drugs. It’s not because the drugs fail (although they sometimes do). It’s more often because those prescribed the drugs do not take them. This beggars belief. It is seriously not good to have your kidneys fail. Dialysis is no picnic. Transplantation surgery occurs after long waiting, at high risk, and at great expense. To lose all that because you don’t take your medication? How could people do that to themselves? How could this possibly be? It’s complicated, to be fair. Many people who receive a transplanted organ are isolated, or beset by multiple physical health problems (to say nothing of problems associated with unemployment or family crisis). They may be cognitively impaired or depressed. They may not entirely trust their doctor or understand the necessity of the medication. Maybe they can barely afford the drugs and ration them, desperately and unproductively. But—and this is the amazing thing—imagine that it isn’t you who feels sick. It’s your dog. So, you take him to the vet. The vet gives you a prescription. What happens then? You have just as many reasons to distrust a vet as a doctor. Furthermore, if you cared so little for your pet that you weren’t concerned with what improper, substandard or error-ridden prescription he might be given, you wouldn’t have taken him to the vet in the first place. Thus, you care. Your actions prove it. In fact, on average, you care more. People are better at filling and properly administering prescription medication to their pets than to themselves. That’s not good. Even from your pet’s perspective, it’s not good. Your pet (probably) loves you, and would be happier if you took your medication. It is difficult to conclude anything from this set of facts except that people appear to love their dogs, cats, ferrets and birds (and maybe even their lizards) more than themselves. How horrible is that? How much shame must exist, for something like that to be true? What could it be about people that makes them prefer their pets to themselves? That evening, when Eden cools down, God goes out for His evening stroll. But Adam is absent. This puzzles God, who is accustomed to walking with him. “Adam, ”calls God, apparently forgetting that He can see through bushes, “Where are you?” Adam immediately reveals himself, but badly: first as a neurotic; then, as a ratfink. The creator of all the universe calls, and Adam replies: “I heard you, God. But I was naked, and hid.” What does this mean? It means that people, unsettled by their vulnerability, eternally fear to tell the truth, to mediate between chaos and order, and to manifest their destiny. In other words, they are afraid to walk with God. That’s not particularly admirable, perhaps, but it’s certainly understandable. God’s a judgmental father. His standards are high. He’s hard to please. God says, “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat something you weren’t supposed to?” And Adam, in his wretchedness, points right at Eve, his love, his partner, his soul-mate, and snitches on her. And then he blames God. He says, “The woman, whom you gave to me, she gave it to me (and then I ate it). ”How pathetic—and how accurate. The first woman made the first man self-conscious and resentful. Then the first man blamed the woman. And then the first man blamed God. This is exactly how every spurned male feels, to this day. First, he feels small, in front of the potential object of his love, after she denigrates his reproductive suitability. Then he curses God for making her so callous, himself so useless (if he has any sense) and Being itself so deeply flawed. Then he turns to thoughts of revenge. How thoroughly contemptible (and how utterly understandable). At least the woman had the serpent to blame, and it later turns out that snake is Satan himself, unlikely as that seems. Thus, we can understand and sympathize with Eve’s error. She was deceived by the best. But Adam! No one forced his words from his mouth. Unfortunately, the worst isn’t over—for Man or Beast. First, God curses the serpent, telling him that he will now have to slither around, legless, forever in peril of being stomped on by angry humans. Second, He tells the woman that she will now bring forth children in sorrow, and desire an unworthy, sometimes resentful man, who will in consequence lord her biological fate over her, permanently. What might this mean? It could just mean that God is a patriarchal tyrant, as politically motivated interpretations of the ancient story insist. I think it’s—merely descriptive. Merely. And here is why: As human beings evolved, the brains that eventually gave rise to self-consciousness expanded tremendously. This produced an evolutionary arms race between fetal head and female pelvis. The female graciously widened her hips, almost to the point where running would no longer be possible. The baby, for his part, allowed himself to be born more than a year early, compared to other mammals of his size, and evolved a semi-collapsible head. This was and is a painful adjustment for both. The essentially fetal baby is almost completely dependent on his mother for everything during that first year. The programmability of his massive brain means that he must be trained until he is eighteen (or thirty) before being pushed out of the nest. This is to say nothing of the woman’s consequential pain in childbirth, and the high risk of death for mother and infant alike. This all means that women pay a high price for pregnancy and child-rearing, particularly in the early stages, and that one of the inevitable consequences is increased dependence upon the sometimes unreliable and always problematic good graces of men. After God tells Eve what is going to happen, now that she has awakened, He turns to Adam—who, along with his male descendants, doesn’t get off any easier. God says something akin to this: “Man, because you attended to the woman, your eyes have been opened. Your godlike vision, granted to you by snake, fruit and lover, allows you to see far, even into the future. But those who see into the future can also eternally see trouble coming, and must then prepare for all contingencies and possibilities. To do that, you will have to eternally sacrifice the present for the future. You must put aside pleasure for security. In short: you will have to work. And it’s going to be difficult. I hope you’re fond of thorns and thistles, because you’re going to grow a lot of them. ”And then God banishes the first man and the first woman from Paradise, out of infancy, out of the unconscious animal world, into the horrors of history itself. And then He puts cherubim and a flaming sword at the gate of Eden, just to stop them from eating the Fruit of the Tree of Life. That, in particular, appears rather mean-spirited. Why not just make the poor humans immortal, right away? Particularly if that is your plan for the ultimate future, anyway, as the story goes? But who would dare to question God? Perhaps Heaven is something you must build, and immortality something you must earn. And so we return to our original query: Why would someone buy prescription medication for his dog, and then so carefully administer it, when he would not do the same for himself? Now you have the answer, derived from one of the foundational texts of mankind. Why should anyone take care of anything as naked, ugly, ashamed, frightened, worthless, cowardly, resentful, defensive, and accusatory as a descendant of Adam? Even if that thing, that being, is himself? And I do not mean at all to exclude women with this phrasing.

I LIVED, I WAS LOVED but most of all I LOVED. Ibiwari Perrin-Oglafa Feb 14th 2025 #love #life #marriage #valentinesday

That you share the gift of yourself with that special someone. And that one day when you're old and grey, before breath seizes from your lungs, before that heart of yours stops beating, you'll be able to say,

One of the greatest tragedies of life is a heart that has never known love. And I pray you find love. I pray that you find one whose heart beats in sync with yours and not one who'll leave your heart fragmented, shattered and bruised.

Don't Lie To Yourself “Above all, don't lie to yourself. The person who lies to himself or herself and listens to his or her own lie comes to a point that he or she cannot distinguish the truth within him or her, or around him or her, and so loses all respect for himself or herself and for others. And having no respect he or she ceases to love.” Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov There is nothing as frustrating to observe as the life of a Christian who is lying to himself or herself. Dressing up and attending church services on Sunday just so the pastor and other church members can see them in church and mark their register Knowing they don't really know God but acting as if they do Or joining a group in which you have to pretend to be something you are not and keep up appearances just to feel among You know you are lying but optics is more important to you than being truthful to yourself Met a brother who was "in love" with a lady who is twenty years older than him He is in his twenties He is an eligible bachelor at home and in the community He knows he is not an eligible bachelor but he would join other bachelors in church and discuss coping with being single and tell everyone he is praying to find the right bride Young ladies make passes at him He pretends he has spartan self-discipline and is living a holy life Everyone believed he was living with his aunt Nobody knew the aunt was his lover, a widow whose husband left some good money. A mother of three, whose three children are schooling abroad He said he couldn't tell people she was his lover because of optics He wanted to socialise with his peers So he had to lie to everybody that he came to Lagos for greener pastures and until things settle for him, he is living with his aunty. Then be began to believe the lie The "lover" told him her children will be returning home for Christmas and he would have to move out of the house for that duration He said she should just tell them he is a nephew from the village He didn't want to leave because he was scared it might be a ploy from the aunty to send him out of her house I asked him if he had any savings since he had been living with her for over three years He said he has a good job but he used most of his money taking Aunty out to nice restaurants and fancy hotels and also on gifts Aunty's love language is gifts So he had no savings, nothing for rainy days, no plans for being evicted or for moving out. He had somehow lied to himself and believed the lie too That aunty loves him and cannot do without him Well, the truth became obvious last week when "Aunty" threw him out of her house. She did it with a venom. He was walked out of the compound with only his clothes and shoes by the mobile police officers aunty arranged for him. He had to leave his smart TV and game console behind because he had nowhere to take them to When you lie to yourself, you will expect people to believe the lie and participate in the reality of the deception you are weaving but at a point, they will have to take the truth as they see it and walk away. A sister claimed she wanted to get married. She joined the singles group and pestered all the adults around her to please get her a good man who she could settle down with People got to work The single men in people's lives were nudged her way She found a fault in all of them One was too fat, another was too thin, one was too old, and another was not rich enough. Eventually, she declared that she would prefer someone younger than her. This is a sister who takes offence when anyone she perceives as younger than her calls her by name or addresses her by her first name without adding the appropriate sign of respect. Someone who would be very angry if she was walking with a male friend and people greeted the male friend but didn't greet her Someone very particular about being respected How would she cope in the company of a younger man and the younger man's friends? When an Oldsmobile claims it is a Ferrari or says it can do what a Ferrari can do You begin to ask yourself Is someone not lying to himself or herself here? Sometimes someone will write to me and say "Brother Gbenga, why are things so difficult for me? I live a Holy Life and yet the devil is on my case. Do you live a Holy Life or do you live a religiously compliant lifestyle? Every believer is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, it is not a result of how they dress or drink their water or the kind of lifestyle they make It is a gift of God lest any man should boast! Paul was never holier than John Mark, neither was Peter holier than Demas Salvation bequeathed upon all saints the same status of righteousness in Christ That "Holy Life" slogan was a religious expression which means "I am LIVING according to the rules and regulations set up by the leaders of the church he or she is attending" It is obviously not working if he or she is reaching out to me Lying to yourself makes it difficult for you to know what the issue is and find a solution that works in good time I sat with the brother and we had a long talk, at the end of it, he realised he had been making a fundamental mistake as it relates to his life choices which would require a bit of discipline in his spending He adjusted and he was soon out of debt It is God's desire that we prosper but you make it difficult for God to help you when you lie to yourself. I know a brother who travelled abroad with his family in search of a better life He got there and started applying for jobs without any success He was an engineer in Nigeria and he was determined to work only as an engineer abroad He insisted that they could not start all over again and the labour market abroad would have to employ him as he was His wife had been the only one working and paying the bills since 2013 The wife is tired because all he does is play video games and help the children with their homework The more the wife complaints about his lack of productivity, the more he withdrew He said he would not do any menial work or any other job but engineering and he took his wife as an enemy for asking him to start somewhere and build his career upward until he got the job he desired The wife worked day and night until she could no longer take it She told him he had to work or she would stop working too He reported her to his family in Nigeria His family in Nigeria said she was using his luck and this is why she had completed her degree and still had a job abroad while their son is still searching for a job without any success. His mother and sister called her and warned her that whatever she might have used to tie their son, they would find the key and unlock him by the power of the Holy Spirit. The wife resigned in protest. She said they would all stay at home until they could no longer feed or pay their bills. This brother has lied to himself and he has believed the lies too. I also met a brother who said God has called him into ministry, he does not know when to start or how to start. But he was very convinced that God told him not to work. God told you not to work and yet he did not tell you what to do in his vineyard as a minister? So what do you do at the moment? Sit at home and watch TV, pray a bit and read the Bible a bit while waiting for the word of God to come to pass. How long have you been waiting for that word without working? He said twelve years! It is not good to lie to yourself. When you do, it is possible for you to believe your own lies and it will then colour your decision-making and debar you from moving forward in life. You owe yourself a debt of truth Be truthful to yourself! A lady came to meet me somewhere in Nigeria for prayers for her partner They came in the evening The next morning, she was back with another man, this time she introduced this one as her husband. I was shocked I later asked her how she could have a boyfriend and a husband She said her husband knew about it and he did not mind at all It was a polyamorous union I asked her husband had any other woman in his life She said no She is the jealous type and cannot tolerate her husband or boyfriend with another woman in their lives. Three months later, her husband left with the children for Canada She called me and asked me to pray with her that God would frustrate him and bring them back to Nigeria Her lover soon left her to get married to a lady he had been seeing for four years without her knowledge She said neither of them gave her any indication that they were not with her in their polyamorous union I told her it is a bad thing to lie to yourself Once you start lying to yourself, you will become a victim of your lies You create a bubble or an echo chamber of reality in which you participate under the assumption that others are in that bubble with you Until one day it will become obvious that you have been living in a lie all along One thing the Holy Spirit taught me is that as a human being, you can always reinvent yourself with the truth You can become a better version of yourself with the help of the Spirit of God and become a character that is stronger than the flawed one you used to be before you met the Lord All you have to do is find a place to be alone with the Lord and tell him the truth Say something like "Lord, I have been lying to myself and you I have convinced myself of a lot of things and they are not true I am here to tell you the whole truth sir, to empty myself before you I am asking you to help me get better, to help me make sense of my misdeeds Then go ahead and talk to the Lord..." It is never too late to get things right once you are completely open and honest with the Lord He sorts out realities excellently and he leaves no cracks! PS: We are having our monthly Night of Glory today Prayer starts by 5:30 pm We will be in His Presence and sort out many things by his power Please join us December is the month of Thanksgiving and Prophecy We will be speaking into 2025 by the Spirit Please don't miss out on any of our meetings as we set the course for the years ahead Dear Family, You’re invited to GSWMI November Night of Glory. Theme: Feast Of His Presence (Psalm 16 vs 11) Date: Friday, 29th November 2024 Time: 6:00 pm to Midnight (WAT) Please join us on any of our platforms. Zoom:us06web.zoom.us/j/88576461706 Mixlr: gswmipneuma.mixlr.com Telegram:t.me/PneumaCathedra… N/b: Please note that Prayers start at 5:30 pm

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Faultless Imagine Samson was not told he had a weak point Look at the life of Samson and his lifestyle Read Judges 13 to 16 as many times as you desire Pay attention to the character of God in these passages Samson went to marry someone his parents didn't want him to marry It led to trouble, Samson prevailed Samson was going on a journey, a lion charged at him Samson prevailed Samson was very hungry on one of his journeys He stumbled upon the carcass of the Lion he killed and found out bees had taken it over and were making honey in it Samson ate honey, Samson prevailed over hunger Samson came up with a riddle for his wife's family members It was a riddle that hinged upon a wager If they couldn't come up with an answer, they would all end up making Samson very rich and if they did Samson would have to make them rich Samson's wife's family members couldn't solve the riddle They threatened Samson's wife and her father Samson's wife went to him and asked for the answer to the riddle Samson foolishly told her the answer Her family members solved the riddle and by so doing they plunged Samson into a mountain of debt. Samson went on a raid and killed many Philistines The properties of those he killed were used to pay his debt Samson was angry his trust in his wife was exploited God was never angry with Samson Samson was a one-man wrecking ball The Israelites didn't really like him because he was a one-man army who did whatever he liked He was difficult to control or reason with For Samson to get involved in a fight, it will not be for motherland or fatherland. It will be for Samson It has to be personal He was not like Gideon or Saul He was not a commander of men The only time Samson worked with a team was when he gathered three hundred foxes and set their tails on fire so as to ruin the harvest of the Philistines. Samson was indomitable Samson was a maverick Samson was a law unto himself Samson did whatever Samson wanted and nobody could hold him to account Some of us are frowning at this as we read That is a pity That is how we were naturally raised to be There was no character that was as close to Jesus in the Bible as Samson Many Christians think obedience to human norms, mores and cultures, rules and regulations is the essence of Christianity They forget the Lamb was only a lamb unto God Jesus was never a lamb unto men The day Jesus took the throne as a lamb in Revelations 5, he became like Samson, a LION A ruler who was handed the sceptre to rule without the agreement or vote or consensus or mandate of human beings Samson was given the right to rule before he was born The opinions of people and society were of no consequence to him Jesus was given the rule before he was born The opinions of people and society were of no consequence to him You as a Christian were given the right to rule and reign before you were born as declared by angels in Reveations 5 9 And they sang a new song, saying: “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.” Many Christians think conforming to human norms is what it means to be Christians. Their doctors will tell them something they will swallow it hook line and sinker. The governments of this world will tell them something, they will not even bother to ask questions. They however will say "I am not sure if it is the Holy Spirit talking to me or not, so I didn't do what the Holy Spirit said because I was not sure" They know the voice of men (unbelievers) and they are guided by it Somehow they believe by doing this they are pleasing God Jesus said a time will come when people will kill Christians and believe that they are pleasing God by doing so If the Christians agreed with them and obeyed them, there would be no need for them to want to kill them If they were like Samson and Jesus, many would want to kill them and they would believe killing them was justified because they were deviants Samson was the complete picture of liberty A Christian full of the Holy Spirit who can do whatsoever the Spirit leads or instructs him to do without caring whose ox was gored. This was how Jesus lived his life too. Samson went to a strange Philistine city to spend the night with a Philistine prostitute. His assailants trapped him in the city by shutting the city gate with the intention of killing him Samson walked out and pulled the gates off their hinges, then he carried it on his back as the people shot arrows, slings, stones, sticks, rocks and other weapons at him. The gate protected him from everything they threw at him At a point, the Philistines went to have a meeting with the Israelites They threatened to sanction the Israelites and burn their farms if they don't hand over Samson to them so that they could kill him for his numerous crimes against them The Israelites went to have a meeting with Samson and told him the demands of the Philistines Samson curiously begged them not to kill him but to ensure they hand him over to the Philistines I found Samson's request to be very strange These were his kinsmen, his kinsfolks who were supposed to go to bat for him and defend him regardless of whatever he might have done. They didn't because he was not a conformist He did his thing his way Society loves those who do things their way Religious people loved those who did their things the way they were told This is why religious folks can't be spiritual even though they pretend all day and want people to believe they are Nicodemus was a very religious man but he was not a spiritual man Jesus was a spiritual man but he was not a religious man Religion and spirituality don't mix! Nicodemus, Pilate, Herod, and The High Priest all belong in the same set Jesus, John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Daniel, Samson all belong in the same set I needed you to see that Samson can be indicted on morals by religious people but God did not judge Samson on morals Samson was handed over to the Philistines and the cords they tied him with burnt off his hands With the jawbone of a donkey he killed a thousand philistines When he was done, he was tired and he fainted He needed some water None of his kinfolks who delivered him to the Philistines was around to lend a hand of help or even give him a cup of water They had thrown him to the wolves and abandoned him Samson prayed to God Judges 15: 18 Because he was very thirsty, he cried out to the Lord, “You have given your servant this great victory. Must I now die of thirst and fall into the hands of the uncircumcised?” 19 Then God opened up the hollow place in Lehi, and water came out of it. When Samson drank, his strength returned and he was revived. So the spring was called En Hakkore,[c] and it is still there in Lehi. God gave Samson water to drink supernaturally God didn't tell Samson to Cease and Desist or to behave Samson was right in the centre of God's will Men had condemned him His own kinsfolk wanted nothing to do with him God rooted for Samson! The Philistines had been told through their investigations that Samson had an Achilles heel, a weak point, a kryptonite that could render his Superman powerless How could they have guessed this? They were told A Jew told them They didn't know what it was but they had an idea he had a weak spot So they got Delilah, another lady who Samson had a weakness for to beguile him as the eve beguiled Adam and find out what the secret was I have seen this weakness in Christendom over the years that is of great concern to me This kryptonite, that religious people bandy over men and women in whom God seriously invested his power Kathryn Khulman got married. Religious folks said she got married to another woman's husband and while she was married to that man, they stifled her ministry and didn't allow her to do the work God called her to do Did God leave her because of that marriage? Is that consistent with the Character of God? I remember a Christian brother I know whose wife was a thorn in his flesh. His wife would tell him "I am the life of your ministry, you know that once I divorce you, your ministry and calling is over. So you better sit up and do my will" I cannot count the number of times a Christian minister or preacher was cancelled because he had sex with someone. The entire ministry and investment of the Holy Spirit would go to waste over something that had no bearing on who a believer is or the mission he has been called to fulfil in Christ. We act as if the Christian is like Samson A man of conditional power The Christian has no weak points No believer who received Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour was given a warning the way the angel warned Samson's parents when he was telling them about Samson's peculiarities No believer who received the baptism of the Holy Spirit was told there was a condition attached to the Zoe life he has received after giving his or her life to Christ. We are greater than Samson In Christ, I am greater than Samson Delilah got the information she needed from Samson and this led to his downfall. Imagine Samson had no weakness, no secret code, no power attached to his hair that could be cut off with a razor Imagine Delilah came to you asking you what your weak point is as a Christian What would you call it? Most believers will say it is "Sin" And they will be very wrong Romans 6:14 "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace" Romans 6:10 "And so, because he died, sin has no power over him; and now he lives his life in fellowship with God" Romans 8:2 "Because we belong to Jesus, 'the power of the life-giving Spirit' has set us free 'from the power of sin that leads to death'" Jesus said the Devil has Nothing In You! The Lord Jesus made a powerful statement while addressing His disciples during the closing moments of His earthly ministry. He said, “…for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me” (John 14:30). What Jesus actually meant was that Satan had nothing to his advantage in Him (Jesus). What a confession! Does Satan have anything in you? “No” knowing that when Christ reproduced you through His Word, Satan had nothing in you. James 1:18 says, “Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth….” 1 Peter 1:23 says, “Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth forever.” The Word of God that gave birth to you is perfect and incorruptible; therefore, nothing of darkness is in you. A born-again journalist found herself in a hotel room with a man some years ago, they had sex and the man suddenly clutched his chest and died. The man flew into Abuja for a high-profile court case The sister was covering the court case for the TV station she worked for They talked briefly after the case and the man invited her over to his hotel They were both married After the man had slumped and died the sister sat in the room and began to weep This is the judgement of God. God has found her out in her sin and the wages of sin had been visited upon her. The man was dead She was sure of that Now she needed to find a way to call the attention of the hotel to what had happened. If she sneaked out of the hotel, she would be the main suspect and she would spend years in jail. She was a journalist and she knew she would be on the front page of newspapers and her career and marriage were over Her life was over This woman also happened to have my number She called me and told me what had happened She wanted counsel on what to say to the hotel management I asked her if she had prayed She said God cannot answer her prayer because of where she was and what she was doing before the man died I said "Huh" Was the scripture not clear when the Word said "call upon me in the day of trouble?" What day of trouble could be greater than this? Samson called in the day of trouble. David prayed that the counsel of Ahitophel become foolishness while he was in serious trouble. There is no better time to call upon the Lord than when you have fumbled the ball. The Bible said those who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved There was no condition attached to it Sister, you are in trouble now, let us call upon the Lord She said "Yes sir" She laid her hands on the man's chest and prayed a simple prayer I was praying with her on the phone "Father, I lay my hand upon this body and I command life to return to it in the name of Jesus. I am a life-giving spirit, therefore I command Life be restored into this body now in the name of Jesus. The man took a deep breath in and gasped to life The lady screamed "He is back, he is back, he is alive" Thirty minutes later, the man had fully recovered He dressed up and saw her off The lady left the hotel with her life intact Both the lady and the man are still alive today The man gave his life to Christ and became a pastor after that incident The lady and her family are now in Canada Some of you reading this will say it was "mercy" that prevailed over judgment. This is not so Christians always come up with phrases that weaken their identity and abilities because of how badly religion had taken over our consciousness. She was a saint when she met the man, she was a saint when she was having sex with the man and she was still a saint after having sex with the man His action did not change her status, for it was bequeathed upon her divinely when she gave her life to Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Saviour. Her actions and the actions of the man were ungodly, evil, vile and reprehensible. They both should be tarred and feathered for such behaviour. However, she was still a bonafide saint and her words were still full of power and authority. She just needed to be reminded and restored to her rightful way of thinking. Samson didn't have anyone to do that for him His hair grew back and his strength returned He could have asked God for a new pair of eyes He would have broken the chains that held him and killed all the Philistines who were mocking him in their temple. He could have returned home and continued to trouble everybody until he grew old and died. He however forgot who he was, what the word of God said about him and the status God bestowed upon him supernaturally. Jesus didn't forget this status on the cross, even though condemned as a criminal and paraded on the street. He was still the Son of God. Samson was the saviour with the weakness that the enemy could capitalise upon Jesus had no weaknesses Jesus gave you an armour without a chink Jesus gave you eternal life You have no Achilles heel You are complete in Him. PS: This is not an excuse to abuse grace or a license to sin This is Royalty, the status of a King and a Priest Nothing could touch Aaron regarding sin even in the days of Moses He who wore the ephod was immune to judgment Nothing could touch Jesus as regarding sin He became sin that you may become the righteousness of God You are god and a child of the Most High Your salvation has no weakness -GSW- Dear Family, You’re invited to GSWMI November Night of Glory. Theme: Feast Of His Presence (Psalm 16 vs 11) Date: Friday, 29th November 2024 Time: 6:00 pm to Midnight (WAT) Please join us on any of our platforms. Zoom: us06web.zoom.us/j/88576461706 Mixlr: gswmipneuma.mixlr.com Telegram: t.me/PneumaCathedral t.me/PneumaAssembly N/b: Please note that Prayers start at 5:30 pm

Spiritual Manipulation Somebody called you early in the morning The person says I just woke up from a terrible dream in which I saw that you are dead and you were being buried The dream was so real that I woke up crying and screaming your name You said “thank you” to the person and got off the phone You delete the message immediately from your mind because you have knowledge Nobody in the Bible has a dream about other people or to direct the course of other people Dreams are always about the dreamer Dreams are a personal thing If you have a dream about someone and you tell them and they believe it and start acting according to the dream, (running to pastors to pray for them or locking themselves at home so that the dream does not come to pass) they simply prove that they have no agenda for their own lives and you have successfully set an agenda for such a person to run with An agenda that was conceived in your own reality but transferred to another to own out of fear God does not allow others to govern our lives by giving them dreams that will affect our lives If a man dreams, from Joseph to pharaoh, chief baker to chief butler, to Nebuchadnezzar, to Daniel, to Pilate’s wife The dreams are always about something that affects them personally or their office or kingdom Once a believer knows this, he or she will no longer be running scared every time one of their drinking buddies or hook-up girlfriends has a dream about them which is not a good dream. Imagine a friend telling you his dream comes to pass and that it was you he saw in the dream lying dead in a coffin. He is not your father or your mother and has no emotional or spiritual connection with you but hey, he had a dream and he told you the dream If you bought into the dream, you are entering into witchcraft territory because it means you will be flying blind while being controlled by another person’s imagination or conviction The next thing you will most likely do is call a pastor or a prophet or a Muslim cleric and he or she will not tell you the dream to ascertain it is genuine You will have to be the one to tell the dream, a dream that is not originally yours, which means you are only going to narrate a story you have no spiritual connection to personally but which you bought into because someone else decided to set you on a course based on his or her dream This spiritualist you reached out to will listen to you and then begin to prescribe a solution He might ask you to fast or pray or read some scriptures or take a sacrifice somewhere or do charity or sow a seed Someone else’s dream is now going to cost you money and give you a lot of discomfort You do it and the man prays for you and assures you all is well. All was actually well before you started running around with this strange dream, however, this man you reached out to has now gained a customer in you He becomes your go to sorcerer on spiritual matters He has bills to pay too and you are now one of his numerous channels of financial flow He believes sincerely that you owe him for that consultation and he or she will collect in full in due time. This is the cycle many Christians find themselves in today One had an interview after six years of waiting to get a job, he told his older sister about the interview The older sister told a friend, the friend wanted his younger brother to get the job The friend told his sister she had a dream that her younger brother died on the way to the interview Older sister calls younger brother not to leave the house or go for the interview Out of fear, he sits at home crying that God hates him The friend’s younger brother went to the company and got the job We all act based on the information we have at hand If the information is right, we act right and we see the right result If the information is false, we act wrongly and we will get the wrong result One of the strangest ways the enemy manipulates a believer is to use false information to lead such astray A sister told me God always talks to her older brother through dreams She was so convinced by this belief that she told me if she talked to her older brother about me, her older brother would most likely have a dream about me and the dream would give clear instructions to me that if I don't carry such out the consequences will be dire I said I was open to it I wanted the brother to try the trick he had mastered in order to control her gullible sister with me A week later the brother called me and said "Good afternoon sir, my name is so and so and I am the brother to such and such, you see, when she was growing up, she started misbehaving after our mother died. We attend this church where prophets would go into a trance and deliver messages to us in church. She was fifteen at the time and she was sleeping with everybody who was interested in having sex with her I knew she was spiralling out of control while dealing with the grief of the loss of our mother So one night, I had this idea and I put it to work I started talking as if I was in a vision and I was masking my voice as if it was my mother's voice I was talking about things which I know about but were discussions between her and our mother and I had her convinced Then I told her that as her mother I am in heaven and will be talking to her through her older brother's body so as to give her spiritual guidance from heaven I told her her brother would be seeing dreams and visions about her and she should not feel her mother has abandoned her This strategy worked as I was able to guide her through that difficult time, till she got admission into the polytechnic, and without any issue until now When she called to tell me about you and that she wanted me to start talking about you, I didn't have any information at all and I desire to keep her convinced of the truth about our mother's spirit talking to me from heaven So please tell me anything about yourself, so that I can convince her that our mother is still talking to her If you really care about her please help me with this I asked him when he would tell her the truth and set her free from the bondage of the lies he had been telling her for years He said he would let her be after she had gotten married to a good man who could then take over the spiritual leadership of her life He said "I will tell her once she gets married that as her mother I will no longer be talking to her unless it is very important because I am not allowed to intrude into her marriage" He had it all planned out and it has worked effectively for over ten years The sister believes her brother to be a clairvoyant or a medium who receives information directly from the realm of the dead and all the brother used this to do was manipulate her to do things she would have maybe done or not done if the choices were left to her. The brother can argue till tomorrow that he had been doing what he believed was best for her He had her seriously convinced he had the gift He was wrong I told him so categorically and advised him to tell his sister the truth so that she can come out of this dependency on her brother's decisions which was masked as her mother's guiding voice from heaven Christians especially should know that God does not talk to any born-again Christian who is full of the Holy Spirit externally John 14: 23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. 25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. We have the Advocate, the Holy Spirit within us who teaches us all things. How does it look to you if your father who is an unbeliever calls to tell you "a born again" Christian that he had a dream about you and that it is a matter of urgency for you to see him so that you will make some sacrifices about the dream? An unbeliever's human spirit wants to take the Holy Spirit for sacrifice to seek the solution to a spiritual problem that the unbeliever got in a dream about the believer When you look at these things the right way, you will discover the definition of ridiculous. A bricklayer once told me that he used to work as a manager with a top company in Lagos state He said he built a house for his mother and also bought her a car within two years of graduating from the Yabatech I asked him why he left that job to become a bricklayer He said his mother became uncomfortable with how fast he was making money and achieving many things all at once His mother believed that those who would die young were the ones who were in a hurry to build houses, buy cars and make so much money early in life His mother talked to him about this several times and he laughed it off as her being illiterate until his mother played the "I had a dream" card As soon as it was a dream, his mother ceased to be illiterate because "God talks to people through dreams" He said his mother had a dream that he was a bricklayer and she went to see her pastor The pastor told her to call him and instruct him to resign his job and learn bricklaying if he wants to live long in life Being the only son of her mother, the desire to see him live long and have many children was the most important to his mother Her mother's pastor knew this and used it to get her to move her son from Lagos to Sagamu where she will be seeing him every day and choose a suitable wife for him so that her dreams as his mother may come true This man was not told this He was told that due to his mother's dream, the job he had was not good for him and if he kept at it he would die He must resign and move back to Ogun state where he must open a bricklaying business and settle down in Sagamu where his mother can keep an eye on his spiritual wellbeing. The young man did it He is close to his fifties, his mother has long since died He is married to two women and has eight children His mother's dream was fulfilled but he kept lamenting that God had not treated him fairly He was manipulated out of a particular lifestyle into another one but he didn't live a fulfilled life The best thing a believer can do for himself is to gain knowledge, it is knowledge that makes you a master of realms and dominions Superstitious beliefs have proven over the years and across cultures to be damning rather than liberating The earlier believers know the truth and walk in it, the better for them PS: We are taking prayer requests today Send a DM to @gbengawemimo on Twitter, a mail to [email protected], a WhatsApp message to 08072744871 or @gswmifirebrand You can join us in Zoom by 12 noon today as we pray GSWMI is inviting you to its weekly 6-hour prayers. When: Every Thursday Time: 12:00 PM - 6:00 PM West Central Africa Topic: Firebrand 6-Hour Weekly Prayers Please click the link below to join the webinar: us06web.zoom.us/j/85924908277 Or join on Telegram via t.me/PneumaCathedral -GSW- See you in Port Harcourt starting from tomorrow, the Gathering is on Saturday! Don't miss it

The Secret to Walking in Miracles II Faith that works through love is key to healing the sick and raising the dead It is key to receiving your healing too as a man or woman dealing with a lot of health challenges I have seen cancer dry up in 24 hours several times, but it was never by adherence to the law or standing on self righteousness It was always by faith that works through love A pastor was once diagnosed of cancer of the jaw in the UK He went for a dentist’s appointment and from there it was discovered he had cancer He was told he couldn’t survive it at the time because the cancer had spread all over his body He got on a flight to Nigeria so that he can die among his folks He was a twin and his twin brother was not even a believer He was a believer and he had followed the law all his life He kept saying “I don’t know what I did wrong, this should not have happened to me. I pay my tithe, I give my offering, I am kind to everyone, the testimony of my faith among the believers is strong” They told him bad things happen to good people He said “so my goodness is for nothing, how come my brother who had spent all his life mocking God and the Christian faith is hale and hearty and I am here stricken down with an affliction that had changed my life forever? His mother introduced him to me I explained to him that he was sick because he believed in self righteousness and not in the power of the love of God Those who believe in self righteousness open the door to affliction based on their belief system Morality does not prevent anyone from sickness or death The gift of eternal life is attained by believing the Jesus, accepting the Holy Spirit into your life and walking with Him in understanding That is the only way! When I saw him his jaw was as big as the head of an axe We prayed and I told him what the love of Jesus was able to do for the undeserving like Zaccheus and the woman that was bent over for 18 years They were covered by the abrahamic covenant and yet they were sick The same with some believers who believe in Jesus and yet they are bound because they were told performance is the way to please God. We only please men by performance, Jesus has finished the work of Grace on the cross for those of us who truly believe Some will claim they challenged God based on their tithe, this makes me laugh. God gave you 100% and you gave him 10% and in return for the 10% you are challenging God Imagine that! Why didn’t he just keep his 100% so that you don’t have to challenge him? Imagine me paying 100%. School fees and my children giving me 10% result and yet have the audacity to challenge me based on their result to take them abroad for the summer! We should be thinking Christians please! After speaking with this young man and praying with him, I told him to read the scriptures out loud alone in his room and just tell the Lord that he loves him over and over again before sleeping. That same night, while he was still sleeping, he used his finger to pluck a pimple from the mass on his jaw Stinking pus poured out all night and by morning the growth on his jaw had disappeared The pain was gone too He had been completely healed. His twin brother who never believed in God gave his life to Jesus the following day when he heard the news and today he is a pastor Grace does not only save the one who benefitted directly from it, it extends its long arms to our loved ones who we thought were beyond saving too If a Christian will ever do greater works than Jesus, he or she must have a heart full of greater love and compassion than Jesus Judging no man or woman for their choices, making them see that all had sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and were yet given the gift of eternal life in Christ Jesus When we shake off this “He or she didn’t deserve to be made whole based on his or her action syndrome”, we see the miracles we had hoped for happening effortlessly -GSW- The Gathering in Port Harcourt is this Saturday, please be there