Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

A day in the life of a Midlands Ambulance Service paramedic (a parody account). Bordesley Green Triangle Joined November 2018

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Cat 1: cardiac arrest in street. Officer on route. Update: Patient is a sparrow.

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Cat 3: mental health. Pt seen through living window dancing naked on table. Caller not with patient. Now where do we keep the spare under-crackers 🤷🏾‍♀️.

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Red back up for a (new) para crew. Diazemuls given. "Fitting" Pt had called 999 himself, had discharge letter on side for previous pseudo episode w/ref to psychology. Stimuli given to which pt said "you're not hurting me, you know" Fit ended, not post ictal

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Category 1: Cardiac Arrest On arrival: Patient answered the door himself and frantically informed us that his heart wasn’t beating. Is this classed as a ROSC 🧐

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Cat. 2: Bleeding from ear, major blood loss. On arrival: Pt holding a piece of bog roll to ear, cat has scratched ear lobe. #bluelightsandsirensforthis

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Cat 3: 83 year old female. Slipped out of bed. Injuries unknown. On arrival: patient naked and has opened her bowels everywhere.... what I imagine she was doing prior to arrival 💩

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Cat 2: Breathing Problem 49yo male. Asthmatic pt. On arrival: Hiccups

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Cat 2: ? Stroke. Visual disturbances. Onset within 4 hours. On arrival: pt had dirty glasses. Treatment plan: wipe glasses with tissue. #Icouldntdoyourjob

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Red call: major blood loss, more than 2 mug fulls. Cold, clammy, patient appears shocked. On arrival: shaving cut to chin. #youmustseesomesights

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Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical

7 years ago

Today I heard a student telling his mates in the crew room that he had been called out to an elderly gentleman with trauma to his todger following failed catheter insertion. Instead of putting a pad in the patients pants he decided to bandage the soggy sausage.