I love when i needa stim and it’s just me looking at discord on my phone 20 times to see if someone messaged me so i can tune out the outside world for a bit.
Having adhd, ocd and autism is wild, i will always be dependent on help from people but also always wary that they won’t just swap up on me. I need so much reassurance that people don’t hate me, even if it barely helps n annoys people to always do. This sucks, I wanna be normal.
I should really just end it all right? I’m actually the biggest irritation and burden for everyone. Im genuinely getting to my limit, i cannot do this for much longer.
I’ve never wanted to end it so bad,,, it’s so loud i just want to be happy and stop feeling like i’m such a burden and that i’m ruining everything. I just want it to stop, i hate existing. I’m such a fuck up and a failure, i don’t deserve anything.
Im having a really bad tweak out tonight and need a place to put my thoughts, it’s more dangerous for me to not put it anywhere. If anyone ended up reading anything, just scroll past if possible. I apologize for the jumpscare, i’m not feeling well at all tonight.
just need to hold out until march 2026 when maid might be open to people that have untreatable mental illnesses and maybe autism, so hopefully i can be pain free.
I need out. I cannot take it anymore. I hate having autism, i hate having anxiety and i hate the life i am living. I’m genuinely so anxious these days that i’m going bald just by me pulling out my own hair to comfort myself. I hate being alive and existing, I’m so tired of it
I want to end it all. I’m so undeserving, i dunno why i even try a little bit these days, i’m just a selfish loser. Regardless of what anyone says, everyone hates me and i’ll never not believe that, i hate myself. Biggest tragedy is that MAID is not available for people like me.
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