James Jokes Explained @JamesExplained
Here's where I spoil the fun of my main twitter account. Brockville, Ontario Joined August 2017-
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Secret Agent Man is made fun of for the misheard lyric 'secret asian man'. In 'You Only Live Twice', Bond goes undercover as a thoroughly asian man who is easily 6'2".
'Secret Agent Man' should have been the theme to the Bond film 'You Only Live Twice'.
These are the opening lyrics to 16 Tons. The implication is that bass players get stuck loading in everyone else's gear by virtue of not being real musicians.
Some people say a man is made out of mud, a bass player's made out of muscle and blood.
This the lyrics to Let The Bodies Hit the Floor mixed with Chris Benoit's WWE theme. Pretty insensitive if you ask me.
I'm not consumed by fear, I'm just driven by hatred.
The standardization of A=440 hz, the pitch we use today, is actually a clause in the Treaty of Versailles, the same document that ended WWI, seized the Rhineland back from Germany, and later led to WWII. No idea why they threw that in, the point is it wasn't Nazis.
They also claim that the number 432 is special, but that doesn't matter because hz are cycles per second, and we invented seconds, so it's clearly not a nature thing. If there were healing properties to 432 hz, only a sine wave at that frequency would work, not our instruments.
New Age medicine says that the frequency of 432 hz has healing properties, and that we should tune our instrument to it. They say that Nazis originally settled on 440 hz as standard pitch because it puts our bodies at unease and makes us more submissive.
I could go on about A=432 hz forever, and how music's pitch is all relative and doesn't matter, but I can sum it all up with this question: Why did Nazis hate the Treaty of Versailles?
This tweet uses the format of the Black Keys' album 'Brothers' to reference a guitar player famous for calling everyone brother. His other catchphrases include 'we are together,' and 'hugs'. Such a positive dude despite tons of negative feedback. Hugs, brother. We are together.
This is a tweet about Emmanuel Aguilar. The message of this tweet is Boa Tarde, Brothers.
The Chevy Impala is quickly becoming the most important puzzle piece in our country's NAFTA replacement conversations. The US government has been sending Trudeau pictures of the Chevy Impala, an ominous way of threatening our Oshawa GM plant. This is my Chevy Impala.
Dear Prime Minister @JustinTrudeau, Last year someone hit my car in a parking lot and I need help bringing them to justice.
The joke is that 'Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll' is often falsely attributed to Guns N Roses, but it's not theirs. Also, 'The Spaghetti Incident' is a cover album.
Guns N Roses best song may be 'Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll', but their best songwriting was on the album 'The Spaghetti Incident'.
The snapchat story in question was a video of a Dark Side of the Moon track, then panned up to show the massive Dark Side of the Moon album cover above my desk. The song that was playing was from Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here'. No one called me out on it.
I'm disappointed in everyone who looked at my snapchat story.
Ibanez Guitars have been producing the 'Iceman' since 1975, and a rare reversed version called the 'Fireman' since 2009 as a signature guitar for Paul Gilbert. These two names, along with the four listed below, are the original 6 Mega Man bosses.
What are @ibanezofficial going to quit stalling and release the Cutman, Gutsman, Elecman, and Bombman models?
They are the same person.
The only Canadian musician I hate more than Max Webster is Kim Mitchell.
This riffs on the fact that the FCC was caught publishing fake comments in defence of net neutrality changes, including some from people who were deceased. There has yet to be an investigation into this.
I think it's time we fight fire with fire and mobilize the army of the dead to defend our net neutrality.
Reneta Ford is suing Doug Ford because he stole millions of dollars from her and her family.
Somewhere in an alternate universe, Doug Ford makes it illegal to buy and scratch lotto tickets repeatedly until you win while other people wait in line to pay for gas. His approval rating soars to 100% (including Renata Ford), despite otherwise awful policies.
This is a reference to the Q conspiracy. Upon reflection, this tweet would have been more on-brand if I had went with Avenue Q.
My snapchat story is all about Dark Side of the Moon, but features music from the album Wish You Were Here. No one commented on this glaring mistake.
I'm disappointed in everyone who looked at my snapchat story.
It's been a while since I wrote this tweet, I can't recall who I was referencing. It could be any one of the following: Jeff Sessions Carter Page George Papadopoulos Paul Manafort Donald Trump Jr. Michael Flynn Jared Kushner Michael Caputo Roger Stone
When Ovechkin and Kusnetzov meet the President to be congratulated on their Stanley Cup victory, no one in the White House would recall it ever happening.
This is a textbook inside joke. My rent at the time was $650 a month. In this tweet I sound positive and upbeat, while still asserting that rent was too high.
My landlord repainted, and also got a new TV and surround sound system. Our living room is wild. This place is definitely worth $500 a month now.
This references an event where no-one arrived to an event on time, so I changed their names in the groupchat to 'Flake Ontario', 'Flake Huron', 'Flake Superior', etc.
April 28th: Today I did the most petty thing I've ever done, but it made me laugh for a full hour so it was totally worth it.
This implies that talk shows only thrive under presidents with poor approval ratings. It goes further to imply an impending impeachment. To be clear, Chairman Goodlatte, this was a joke.
It's been 9 years since the last crash of nighttime talk shows. I'm predicting the next one will happen within the next 1-2 years.
Rebecca Chantelle @RebeccaCha81500
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Chitty Chitty Bang Bu... @tait_fraser
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