Jess Cemo @JessCemovic
Toronto, Ontario Joined December 2011-
Tweets1K
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Followers243
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Following165
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Likes241
My boyfriend deleted Snapchat, which is great because now I never have to workout again. Who would I show?? This is a win.
Do I spend my life’s savings on a boat?? Do I?? I could live on it??
I didn’t want to have a screwdriver for breakfast... but my boyfriend drank my cold brew and left me with literally no options
“I only gained weight cause my dealer is in isolation”
To avoid red wine mouth, use a darker lipstick. Or don’t. Who gives a shit. You’re drinking alone in the shower
My BF thinks it’s cute that I put one of my AirPods in his free ear while he plays video games but realistically it’s just so I can fart freely
Jess Cemo retweeted
Coachella should postpone itself until it stops sucking
Jess Cemo retweeted
mickey has been quarantined
I just want someone to look at me the same way I look at the moon
I’m not mysterious and quiet I’m just iron deficient
I just poured the rest of my rosé into an empty Ensure bottle I needed from the Indian food I had Friday night. Nothing funny about this just needed to get it off my chest
I would like to formally thank all my one night stands for filling two large boxes with T-shirts/hoodies for Goodwill, your sacrifice will not be forgotten
I don’t even remember why I blocked half the people in my blocked list but I trust myself
Turns out I’m not anemic, I’m just an alcoholic
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