FML Superstore @JoyNotInStock
The place where everybody can laugh at the lemons of life (ran out of sugar for the lemonade-FML). Joined July 2015-
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I tried to get to my new friend's house yesterday but he gave the wrong directions. I ended up going to a home with six angry pit bulls-#FML
I'm the person who will eat the least at a fancy restaurant, pay for everybody else, and come home with salmonella-#FML.
There was a time...I used to look in to my father's eyes-now I'm held hostage by a mafia in Sweden-#FML.
First day volunteering at the hospital. Man with Ebola arrives that same day-#FML.
I was at the dentist's today. The dentist dropped a string of floss over my eyes. I missed two episodes of my favorite show #Asian-FML.
#IfIDieInPoliceCustody I would want to have all the donuts. However, an escaped armed convict was hiding right behind the donut stand-#FML.
#FML No...no...you first talk to life, establish a good relationship, take life out to dinner a few times, and call life yours. THEN: FML!!
Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. #FML
Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" #FML
Today, I was at a tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. When I say crowd, I mean my face. FML
#IfICouldTalkToGod I would want wings like the employees at Volkswagen. He gave me this-FML.
Wanted a Disney action figure for my January birthday. Mom went outside and scooped up a bunch of snow. She said it was Olaf - FML. #cold
When Benedict Cumberbatch drinks Red Bull. I'm Bilbo-FML.
I'm the genius that leaves the house wearing black clothing during hot summer days... #FML
Well just found I have watched every movie on the flight Entertainment system, FML!!! I seriously need to get out more 😒 London To NY ✈️
My coworker compared me to Taylor Swift today. Not that I am popular or rich, but that my workspace is as messy as her relationship game.
Asked my 6-year-old son what superpower he wanted. He said endless twerking-FML.
Was at the theater with my girlfriend. Unfortunately my wife and my three kids were sitting in the row right behind us-FML.
Tried out the exercise bike at the gym today. Couldn't move it fast enough to turn on the display! FML.
Played the Smash Brothers Wii U game today-opponent was the best competitive player in the nation-FML.
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