Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

"Ball goes in net, team wins shiny cup. My team beat other team. Me go ruin everyone's hopes of getting out of a literal pandemic like the weapons we are." - Football fans.

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

The true victims of the pandemic are going to be the club DJs on June 21st getting all those Mr Brightside requests.

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

What in the dystopian fuckery is this?

BBC Breaking News @BBCBreaking

6 years ago

UK Supreme Court rules Uber drivers should be classed as workers bbc.in/3qCn1Kt

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

Went for a slash at work and some actual humdinger of a mutant has left a honking skid mark on the TOILET SEAT. Absolute methadone mick energy.

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The space cadets that are having house parties tonight is actually the toppest of wank behavior. Youse are the kind of shite bags that say you want a normal life but aren’t actually willing to do the things that will get you that normal life quicker.

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

Mon the teuchters

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

Yer da when he gets a letter to take the vaccine

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

Would actual give my left baw to do this on Christmas eve this year.

Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

9 years ago

Will never understand why folk want to go out and get sloshed on Christmas Eve. Canni think of anything more depressing than cutting about a dancefloor with a Darkfruit the night before our lord and saviours birth.

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

IRA BIDEN

Nigel Farage @Nigel_Farage

6 years ago

As you can see from this clip, Biden hates the UK. The Conservatives had 4 years to do a trade deal with the USA and pro-UK President, and they failed. There is no chance now.

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teri @sartorialgirl

6 years ago

We just have one last thing to say to Trump...

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Matthew Cairney @Juanking95

6 years ago

@HolyRoodRCHigh Gotta say, this is a pretty pathetic response given the allegations levied at your school. Investigating how exactly? Internally? Through the equalities minister? The police? You're gonna need to be a bit more substantive than a couple of nondescript, dispassionate paragraphs.