[email protected] @KeersCraig84299
Joined October 2023-
Tweets1K
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Followers625
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Following4K
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Likes9K
He doesn't get a lot of credit for helping a kid separated from his family, in a big strange city so close to Christmas.
Attacked by a bear = men will kill it Attacked by a shark = men will kill it Attacked by a dog = men will kill it Attacked by a man = men will ask us what we were wearing & why we were there in the first place
Will forever be in love with Virginia Madsen from Candyman (1992)
The Isak Song
“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences. “Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist."
“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences. “Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist." https://t.co/imOIrxKUf7
Meanwhile on @SkySportsNews
Laurence Fox ordered to pay £90,000 to each person he called a pedo. What a looser that man is 🤣
#Bales2024FilmChallenge 4/25 main character talks on phone 𝔸 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕆𝕟 𝔼𝕝𝕞 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕥 one of my favorite movies of all time🎬
P2 (2007) - Horror/Thriller
[2011] T-Mobile launched a spoof video of Prince William and Kate Middleton lookalikes and their wedding party dancing down the aisle, as part of its "Life's for Sharing" brand campaign.👇
Scenes at St. James' Park! 😍 One year ago today 🔙
Violence breaks out at far right St George's Day event in central London. 'Tommy Robinson' made a short speech, then left supporters to it. He's making a habit of this. Not a few present weren't impressed. @AntiRacismDay @Searchlight_mag news.sky.com/story/violence…
🚨 Alec Baldwin confronted in a coffee shop: “Why did you kill that lady… no jail time?” *Punches camera*
A simply stunning strike from Miggy two years ago today! 😍🇵🇾
Legend. 🖤🤍 Happy birthday, @No1shaygiven! 🥳
Saxa @09saxa
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2K Followers 1K FollowingThe audacity of a cash machine charging me to withdraw my own money, whilst also telling me to cover the keypad to avoid getting robbed.
When cycling and especially with friends, wherever I cycle across a 'slow' sign painted on the road, I always try to cycle in the gap between the S and the L. My friends and onlookers don't have a scooby I do this, absolutely no idea, my own little secret
Even though he's now 11 and his bedtime is just before I go to bed, I still go into my son's room and kiss him on the head and whisper "goodnight, love you". I'm pretty sure he's still awake, but he never says anything. That makes it even sweeter.
Did the Manchester marathon and the only thing keeping me going was the cracking arse of a person just ahead of me. Could have overtaken and got a better time but worth it.
Tempted to have an affair just to get a perfect kiss. Over the past three partners and marriage of 13 years all I've experienced is washing machine, chin drool and vacuum.
I used to enjoy it when the treadmill flashed up "60% complete" until I realised that my life is probably around 60% complete too so I'm pretty depressed thinking of my own mortality.
I'm a secondary school art teacher. I never buy my own equipment if students leave pens, pencils or anything after class it's going straight in my pencil case. I have saved an absolute fortune on stationary.
He doesn't get a lot of credit for helping a kid separated from his family, in a big strange city so close to Christmas.
I have stolen over £150 worth of lip liners from Primark because who the fuck is going to stand in those god awful long lines for one damn lip liner
After I lost my Mum I struggled emotionally for a long time. My manager at work noticed, and told me that I needed to do something to 'get over it'. I was outraged, so I lied and told her I was going to counselling and took every other Tuesday afternoon off for 8 months.
At the start of our relationship I joked to my g/f that I can't do the washing up because I'm allergic to one of the active ingredients in washing up liquid. She believed me. 3 years on we're engaged & I feel it's too late to tell her the truth now. She'll probably call it off.
Sometimes I like to eat my lunch on the toilet while taking a shit and singing The Circle of Life from The Lion King. I enjoy the symmetry of food coming in and going out at the same time.
Everytime I get a £5 £10 or £20 note I write a word on it to see if i ever get one back, been doing it for nearly 20 years and not had one yet. So if anyone has a note with a random word on it can I have it back please?
@fesshole Maybe you should just switch to Diet Coke at your age @SilverB35036766 ?
@fesshole Being found like that with an anally inserted gerbil. That would be worse.
Me, my best mate and our wives were all best mates but they split up. I never see her and I really miss her. Genuinely in a platonic way but there's no way I can do anything about it without it seeming weird. Feels like I'm mourning someone who's still alive.
Had to stop wanking when on coke after I felt like I was having a heart attack the last time. Can't think of anything worse than being found with my dick in my hand next to a plate of Charlie.