#LOL @LOLLolposts
Wanna good laugh? Look no further, you just found a profile that will give you one Joined June 2014-
Tweets26
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Followers23
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Following143
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Likes9
*Laughing my ass off* "I didn't do it" *Then why are you laughing!?" "Because whoever did it is a fucking genius"
How to piss off someone with OCD: Turn the TV volume to an odd number.
Fat person- We should sue you! Me- Ya, well you should sue McDonalds because they fucked you up pretty bad
*Me in school* Friend- Dude, what's the answer to this question? Me- Bitch, do I look like a fucking walking Wikipedia to you?
Are you a termite? Cuz your about to have a mouth full of wood
My gf of 5 years asked me what I want for my B-day, I said a feature on iFunny, she said "whats that" that was the end of that relationship
*Dude, selling meth is bad* -Ya, but it makes more money than you and your wife will ever make combined- *You win*
Whenever you feel lonely, kill yourself, there are many people in hell #fatherlyadvice
Ladies, I may not have the V on my stomach but I got the other V Wait... Shit... That's not right
Sometimes I treat my girlfriend like Peter treats Meg.
It's weird because doing Illegal things is fun and doing legal things is boring. #thefuck
I didn't chose the thug life, the thug life chose me, I just called Sham-Wow without parents permission, and I'm under 18. #badassthug
Last time me and my best friend got in trouble together, we got charged for armed robbery, assault,rape,possession of an illegal substance
"You have to treat a women with respect dude" *Phone Rings, it's his gf* *Answers Phone- "Hey Bitch, you called for this dick?"
Me: Your laugh is cute Girl:No M: would you rather me say it sounds like a dying cow G: No M: Well shut the fuck up then... Sweetie
Wanna know why Taco Bell doesn't have a play place? Cuz it's hard to have fun when you think you might shit your pants #LOL
Friend: "Dude, your so fat" Me: Wanna know why I'm fat "Why" Cuz every time I fuck your bitch she gives me a cookie Gets txt Gtgcookie break
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