Kc @LiquidJoke
Joined May 2011-
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Followers212
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Following852
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Apple iWatch Announced by Apple: goo.gl/5lEHY #Apple #iWatch #aapl
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My body's a temple but only because it hates palestine - Anthony Jeselnik
Snoop Dog got some killer beats: "Let's buy two big industrial windmills."
Kc retweeted
The Anti-Planking Act of 2011 is even more useless and absurd than the act of planking itself.
I was trying to download something the other day and it took forever, because I was wearing mittens.
That's a very white attitude. You can take a white guy to Africa, and he'd be like, 'Look at all the minorities they got over here. Jesus!'
We would like to take a moment and talk to you about snow blindness in cats.
The pinnacle of my Twitter career! Just succeeded 50 tweets! Does this make me a quintessential comedian, or just a 14 year old girl?
I don't know what it is about an English, Irish or Australian accent that makes me just wanna get undressed and high five myself.
Having a baby is a huge responsibility. It's like a five-year commitment.
Circumlocution - A word used to describe people that use difficult words. Ironic?
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
This week's stupid jokes are sponsored by: tinyurl.com/Flytouch. I feel like a real comedian now..
There's just no romantic way to wake up a woman on the train to hit on her.
Yo mama is so fat, when you walk around her you get lost.
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