MerleDevlin @MerleDevlin

More Abuse. Yay! #moreabuse

First day of Kindergarten for this hoser like 500 years ago. Nice passive/aggressive bird, too.

I need to go for a walk and weeck something.

My buddy Arthur at work. Woe betide anyway dumbass fly buzzing around his window. #ilovecats #cats

Up in this windowsill watching all these dipshits walking by staring at their phones. Sometimes I bark just to scare the bejeezus out of 'em. What have you done for America lately?

Shoes are lame.

Fireside Chats with Matt Devlin. Get some.

Pretty sure my Lyft driver's drunk. ☆☆☆☆☆

Just got a new stuffed animal made with Kevlar and I've already ripped it's damn arm off. Kevlar can suck it. Nothing gets between me and wrecking toys. #kevlar #dogsoftwitter #baddog

Sometimes when I'm napping I dream that I'm flying through Washington DC and not only can I smell the lies but I can see them, too. And it's not even weird. Then I buzz the tower, bang out a steep spiral, stick the landing and piss on something. Fuck yeah. #dogsoftwitter

AUBREY PLAZA FOR PRESIDENT. Why do we even fuck around with these dingbat career pols? Give Aubrey the keys and shut up. #AubreyPlaza

Fetch yourself a Venice Salvage Christmas shirt and I won't bite you when I see you out in public. etsy.com/shop/VeniceSal… #dogsoftwitter

all the livelong day been workin' on the railroad, can't call out sick, though...? --- --- --- --- --- --- --- You'll soon know how valuable rail workers are if they dig in on this. 1 day of sick leave - that's bullshit. #Railroadstrike #haiku

It's a beautiful chemtrail morning here in Hancock County, Maine. #chemtrails #dogsoftwitter

LUCKY NUMBERS FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN ONE TWO THREE #HAIKU #dogsoftwitter

You like the dark meat? I bet you like the dark meat. Happy Thanksgiving. #dogsoftwitter #haiku

How is drinking a gallon of water a day such a major undertaking yet I can smash a 12 pack of High Life in one sitting and not even have to cock my leg? Riddle me that. #DogsofTwittter

This Muskrat fella doesn't give a damn. It's like when I go to the dog park and start shit with all the fat, lazy, stupid mutts knowing full well I can just hop the fence & laugh at 'em safely from the other side because they're stuck there wallowing in their own feces. Dig?

Why do so many people look like they're about to fall asleep all the time? You can open refrigerator doors with your undeserved thumbs and make Pop-Tarts and yet y'all are fucking perpetually drowsy for nothing. Sort it out.

Today I woke up, barfed on the rug, went for a stroll, shat on the sidewalk, came home, ate breakfast, licked myself and then went back to sleep. How you doing?