Bitchell @MitchFortman
Joined December 2012-
Tweets638
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Followers168
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Following171
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Likes5K
Bitchell retweeted
🚨All-Pro CB Jaylon Johnson is likely to miss the rest of the regular season with a groin injury that will require surgery, per @Schultz_Report.
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Is Capital One a cult that Jennifer garner sold her soul to or is she ever gonna do another movie?
Been stuck in this position for 30 min after that Bucks loss
Pulling up to the McDonald’s drive thru like “Yes ma’am. Order number Alpha Tango Double Niner. I repeat, Alpha Tango Nine Nine”
Gf broke up with me cause she felt I “lacked emotional depth” and “used humor to mask my problems”. Fuck it, we ball
“The work is mysterious and important.”
Imagine trying to explain to your wife that you didn’t cheat on her after your innie got chlamydia from the Lumon fuckfest
Luigi’s Mansion is 23 years old why is everyone just now talking about it?!?
My brain: You know that’s not his name. They’re not even related! And even if they were, that wouldn’t make any sense!!! Me: “Jony Romo”
Daylight saving just ended all of my run clubs. Where am I supposed to meet young, horny singles, @GavinNewsom
“The whole chicken market is propped up on this bad meat. It's a time bomb, and I want to short it.”
“The whole chicken market is propped up on this bad meat. It's a time bomb, and I want to short it.” https://t.co/ytM6TnDIje
Bitchell retweeted
We know you’ve been waiting for this one… “Maps” is here and it’s beautiful. #B1GWelcome
Chanting “Homo sex is IN!” to get this guy to say it with me
Chanting “Homo sex is IN!” to get this guy to say it with me
Sprained my ankle. Some would say this was the injury that costed me the chance at a promising nba career
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