Grandma Beef @MyBeefTweets

If tourists are what you hate about #dc never go to #newyork more like ewyork

Ok now you have all beef’s pertinent qualities.

Beef is about to be DNA tested. AN INVASION OF PRIVACY ON A SAUSAGE!! (But whatever, @ me with your guess her mix folks!!)

@softsingle Ok yes I can see how PEOPL may think i am goat

It is very important to say bless you when your dog sneezes. They appreciate it

you can tell how poorly a human is doing by how many social media posts they make of their dog. more than three ig stories in 24 hours? it’s a cry for help

Beef here. Some kids call this a selfie But I do not understand why? IT IS NOT FLATTERING

@dog_rates @Trupanion #TrupanionSmiles Beef Teef!!

Beef here. Someone has been posting ppjotographs of me with what I understand to be unflattering captions. How do I lock my account from my grand pups. Account name my beef tweets Password FORBEEFONLY1234

what happens to a ball un-chased does it dry up like a sausage in the sun or wait for paws to come—and then run

when will my husband return from war :(

HELLO HUMANS I ate some and now I cannot keep eyes open hard to type, I think I need help. google what is Cee Bee Dee

when you’ve had eight margaritas at brunch with the girlies and you can’t remember where you left your purse or what your name is and you begin to forget why you have to do anything else to exist so you just sit down on the sidewalk staring at oncoming traffic

Son. Please call your dad we are trying to reach you. We know you are always on your phone on the Gram cookie or whatever you kids use we need to talk to you about visiting home more often

@SMarkowitzVT @ProBirdRights wow thank you for sending me this link how do I open it

Beef here. I thought I would find more bird friends on here. I guess am still too slow even with the new internet