The New Adventures of William T. Riker @NewRiker

The next Star Wars spin-off movie should be an homage to Groundhog Day where Greedo keeps reliving the same day over and over again, with each day being a progressively lamer revision of itself, and always ending in his death.

Episode 20, "Mask" Riker is conned by a sleazy promoter to join an underground wrestling league. Riker must enter the squared circle to defend a young girl's honor from local heel Macaroni Marconi. Guest starring Jon Polito as Scachetti and Vincent Schiavelli as Macaroni Marconi

Episode 19, "Coming Home" Riker returns to his home town in Alaska in search of his ancestor. When a drunken posse aims to gun down the man, Riker and his kin become mountain prey. Guest starring: Johnathan Frakes as Buford Thaddeus "Butch" Riker and William Sanderson as Earl

Episode 18, "Also Ran" A politician hires Riker to track down a malicious leaflet writer. Riker uncovers a blackmail scheme involving an ex-wife and a ring of car wash punch card counterfeiters. Guest starring Ted Danson as Senator Dave and Jenette Goldstein as Maria

Episode 17, "Fool's Gold" At midnight on New Year's Eve, Riker's clone Thomas steps out of a time portal in an Old West theme park outhouse. Thomas takes a job playing an old prospector and cons a trio of Japanese tourists into a false gold claim. Guest starring Mako as Tanaka

Episode 16, "Green Christmas" Hitchhiking in the southwest, Riker is picked up by an eclectic duo in the "import" business. When they break down at an orphanage, Riker must help move "product" to save Christmas. Guest starring Cheech Martin as Diaz and Tommy Chong as Roper

Episode 15, "Canine Conundrum" Riker finds a job as a dog groomer at an exclusive Beverly Hills kennel. When a prize-winning Pomeranian is dognapped by animal rights activists, Riker must decide where his loyalties lie. Guest starring Kim Cattrall as Jessica Mueller

Episode 14, "Trial and Error" When Riker is arrested for indecent exposure at a rest stop, a young public defender takes his case. Much to their dismay, the city uses Riker's trial to test out it's new ProsecuTron robot lawyer. Guest starring Neil Patrick Harris as Jim Forsythe

Episode 13, "Legacy" Riker saves an elderly man from drowning and discovers he is a forgotten silent film star. Riker revives his will to live by enlisting local Eagle Scouts to recreate the Weimer Republic's most famous brothel. Guest starring Don Ameche as Victor Ballantine

Episode 12, "Hot Air" Riker discovers a kooky inventor who may be in the verge of discovering dilithium. In order to save the timeline, Riker starts a whispering campaign on late night talk radio to discredit him. Guest starring: Jerry Orbach as Max and Matt Frewer as Bart Dell

Episode 11, "Gradients" Riker fights for his life after contracting a parasite from undercooked pork chops. The only way to save his life is to relive embarrassing memories. Guest starring: Bruce McGill as Dr. Williams and Brent Jennings as Little Mike

Episode 10, "Rabbit Test" After winning "Most Eligible Bachelor" at the Chattanooga County Fair, Riker is caught with several farmer's daughters. Forced into five shotgun weddings, Riker makes holographic dopplegangers to escape. Guest starring: Richard Dawson as Jed Crockett

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Episode 9, "Hocus Focus" To keep a low profile, Riker takes to the mountains only to discover a haunted cabin. He employs a local con artist to help "exorcise" the spirits. Guest starring Harry Andersen as Harry the Magician.

Episode 8, "Double Trouble" Hitchhiking Route 66, Riker is mistaken for a notorious motorcycle gang leader and arrested. To clear his name, he enters a lingonberry pie eating contest. Guest starring Charles S. Dutton as ADA Ernie Jones and Matt Clark as Stanley.

Episode 7, "The Age of Aquarius" Following a caravan of aging hippies, Riker falls for an older woman. When a bong-bourne illness strikes, Riker's Starfleet training is put to the test. Guest starring Delta Burke as Monica Delacroix and Bill Mumy as Gryphon Hummingbird Starchild

Episode 6, "Down on the Bayou" After a raucous Cinco de Mayo celebration, Riker awakes to find he's been Shanghaied aboard a crawfish trawler. A hotheaded teenager challenges him to an Appalachian flatfoot dance-off. Guest starring: Dave Coulier as "Junior" J. J. Hecklehorn

Episode 6, "Above Top Secret" When his comm badge finds a distress signal, Riker infiltrates a secret military base. He stumbles in on a birthday party... with a deadly surprise. Guest starring: Rene Auberjonois as Col. Eastman and Don Rickles as Jellybeans the Clown

Episode 5, "Barfight Blitz" After accidentally killing a man in a bar fight, Riker takes his place as a Pee-Wee football coach. He uses his old Parrises Squares training to help them to the championship. Guest starring: Seth Green as Ricky Johnson and Kathy Ireland as "Hot Mom"

Episode 4, "I'm Ready For My Close-up Mr. Riker": Riker stumbles upon a public access cable studio on the verge of closure. With the help of 24th century video graphics, they hold an 11th hour pledge drive to save the studio. Guest starring: Jeffrey Combs as Knox Reynolds