Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89
Full time Dad ❤ Part time streamer 🎮 All round sports fan ⚽️🏏🏈⛳ https://t.co/tAjow5tyta Joined December 2011-
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Following117
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THAT'S MAGNIFICENT! 💥🔴 Outrageous strike from Dominik Szoboszlai 👏👏👏
@AndyRobsonTips This worth a shirt?? Took over B36 on Football Manager after following you with the aim of dominating Faroese football and hopefully Europe! Lost in 2 Conference League finals but safe to say we were the best team in the Faroe Islands!
James Maddison in the Sky studios after listening to Jamie Carragher rip into Mo Salah for 15 minutes straight
Not bad for a day’s work Rest in Peace Tim, my hero🕊️ #TheChase
Came for a fight. 1 sent off. 3 off injured. Beaten by a teenager 🤐🤫 #nufcliv
If this is my Football Manager save: - Banish to reserves - Train as a goalkeeper - Double intensity training - Friendly every three days for reserves vs u18s - Buy lots of young players with 18 aggression and 5 decisions to play against him - Set them all to tackle hard
🚨 Alexander Isak adamant he will not play for Newcastle again. Even if window closes without exit 25yo views #NUFC career over + no wish to reintegrate. Club say not for sale but exploring market amid Liverpool interest & striker wants #LFC @TheAthleticFC nytimes.com/athletic/65463…
Be careful today #snow It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up . 8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested. By noon it all melted Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes
Offside by a toenail, handball by a fingernail 2 minutes later. Football is brutal #GERDEN
Should’ve been one of the greatest moments in FA cup history, but some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor said nah, your big toe is too big. Fcuk VAR & everyone who thinks it’s been good for this game #FaCup
Klopp's Kids beat Billion Pound Bottle Jobs!! ❤️
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A message to Liverpool supporters from Jürgen Klopp.
A message to Liverpool supporters from Jürgen Klopp.
EXCLUSIVE FULL AUDIO FROM NUNEZ & PEP CLASH!
That noise Gary Neville makes when he’s not sure about a decision sounds like he’s just gone to make a sandwich and found mould on the bread.
Me when I just need the Ryanair to Malaga to be delayed for my acca
I don’t think anything screams “I have a gambling problem” more than someone who bets on whether flights will be delayed
What a start to the holiday that would be. Sitting watching the departure board like Gillette Soccer Saturday shouting I just need KLM to Amsterdam for £200.
I don’t think anything screams “I have a gambling problem” more than someone who bets on whether flights will be delayed
We have completed the signing of midfielder Ryan Gravenberch from Bayern Munich on a long-term contract, subject to a work permit. 🙌
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