PunappleExpress @PunappleExpress
Follow for the best puns on Twitter! Joined July 2012-
Tweets34
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Followers152
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Following632
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That dog needs a haircut, fur real.
The boy laughed at his new pet donkey. He really got a kick out of it.
He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.
I find that movies about submarines always go down well.
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
I try to avoid funerals because I am not a mourning person.
The one who invented the door knocker won the No-bell prize.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
As the shoe said to the hat, 'You go on ahead, and I'll follow on foot'.
I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.
It's true I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub it in my face!
Frog parking only. All other vehicles will be toad.
Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.
If you wear a blindfold at the shooting range, you won't know what you're missing.
Math teachers have lots of problems.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
Never invest in funerals, it's a dying industry.
Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing to them.
Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
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