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YAY!! YAY! YAY!! I just published a new project to my @Behance portfolio: bit.ly/MUXJ3Z
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Friend: (at 3 am) Hey are you asleep Me: Nope I'm just about to go scuba diving
He broke her heart. She broke his X-box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck.
Can`t spell STUPID without U right in the middle.
When I hear someone speak in a foreign language: 1. I wish I could speak in that language and 2. They better not be talking about me!
Aside from Confirm & ignore, friend requests should have a "WHO ARE YOU" button.
Next time your house phone rings test the persons intelligence by saying“ I'm driving can I call you later?"
My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are...
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? :|
It's amazing how many things you find when you actually clean your room.
To boys~ Rules for texting a girl: 1. Use good grammar 2. Ask questions 3. Be nice and funny 4. Dont take 40 min to text back
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Jim's whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe!
9 year olds today have iPhones facebooks and twitters when I was nine I had a coloring book and a imagination
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing!
Hey auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
That awkward moment when you try to order subway without saying "um"
Roses are red, I have a phone. Nobody texts me, forever alone.
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