Random daily thought @RandomdailyTht
Those thoughts that just pop into your head. weird, funny, mean, awesome, or offensive. it's gotta be said by someone. Joined November 2015-
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How come whenever I wake up I feel like I'm hungover? #SleepingBeauty
Been gone a while eh? Just figured I'd catch up while taking a shit. #toiletstories
Whenever a chick asks how tall you are just ask how much they weigh. They will be so lost. #doublestandard
My mind says buy a new car but my wallet says stfu and go back to bed you broke fuck. #moneyprobs
Holy shit TV shows have really taken a dive. #NetflixAndChill
Fart in high traffic areas just to see the look on people's faces as they attempt to figure out who delt it. #FreedomOfTweets
At least the French have the balls to stand up to ISIS and their bullshit. We esentially just sit here jerking it while they murder people.
It's odd that a dog's tongue is cleaner than a humans even though they Lick their genitals. #asstomouth
Don't like me saying Merry Christmas? Okay, well have a happy go fuck yourself #micdrop
Also remember when shaking said persons hand how long it's been since you washed your hands... and how long they haven't washed theirs.
When shaking someone's hand look them in the eye. #respect
Music is stored in the same part of your brain as language. You learn to read, write, and play it. #brainpower
New reality show idea.. an Eskimo and a Jamaican live in each others homes for 1 month. #iceyhot
The best part of waking up... is my morning deuce #handsdown
I wonder if butterflies actually taste like butter... #whoa
What came first the egg or the sperm?
If ever you forget to bring your phone to the shitter just grab a shampoo bottle and attempt to read the ingredients #welcometothe90s
Why do humans work when we could just run into the forest and hopefully not get eaten by a bear? #mountainman
That goes for your face too. #nomoreselfies
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