Evan Porter Problems @RealEvanStatus
Alright noodles you want muscles as big as my ego, then follow me! The Juice Monkey ;) Joined June 2012-
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Idk why people spend so much money to buy protein for the gym, just stick a straw in Evans arm and slurp away
If you're wondering why I'm slacking on my tweets on Evan its cuz talking bout him literally lowers my IQ
If we are all made in God's image then I guess God is quite the douche bag since Evan is unfortunately... You know.. Alive... #smh
If I had 2 bullets and in front of me was Hitler, Osama & Evan... I'd shoot Evan twice
Hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm Evan Porter, so kill me maybe?
If you look at Evan's face it is legit the face of a douche bag #EvanPorterProblems
Kid: " I wanna work out just my upper body!" Woah! Calm down this isn't the Evan Porter Program
Evan Porter Workout Routine: 1 dumbbell curl, walk around the school, 1 more Dumbbell Curl, walk around the school
Protein Protein Protein!!!!
If Evan threatens you then tell him he can do whatever he wants to you if he can catch you. Guarantee you'll be okay
Just #Retweet if you don't like Evan Porter :D
#Retweet if you think Evan Porter is a douche bag
#Retweet if you think Evan Porter is prick
"Takes off my shirt" Oh yeah! Look at all that fat, perfectly molded to make me look big ;)
You know there is a guy that's been fucked by a horse and survive. Evan Porter, he takes his horse testosterone straight!
You know what will make all you sad people happy! watching Evan try to do more than 10 pushups #LOL
Twitter is being gay for me right now.... No monkey's aloud or what?
"Don't fuck with me! Im 3 times you're size!" *pokes a hole in Evan's Arm* "WTF! WTF! I'M LEAKING!! MY MUSCLES! D': "
You know why Evan works out twice as much during the summer. Cuz he sweats all his juices in the sun
Evan + Dumbbells = Thrown Out Back. If you watch how he swings that motha fucka to get it up... you'll agree #EvanPorterProblems
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