The MAYOR @RealMayorWisdom
Hello. I'm an aspiring mayor who fell off the wagon, and am trying to rehab. Highly controversial politics, scandals, etc. Let's hope this viagara shit works The Voting Booth Joined August 2011-
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Like yeah dude we get it about climate change. But I'm not stopping driving my bulletproof Tahoe everyday #damayor
Is it too pc of me to say that I wish we had a hot woman running for president? Wanted to say "piece of ass" shoutout to the Don Trump
The fact that there's a game called checkers, and then the Chinese went out and made their own "Chinese checkers" is just fucking racist
@StevenCasella thank you for your endorsement, SUCKER
But thankfully we don't vote on style. Instead, we vote based on bribes, corruption, and false promises I give to my voters
And don't get me started on HRC. Could've sworn that pant suit was the lining to my pool table
Anthony Weiner on the other hand....that dude should wear a shirt all the time
I body shamed Trump. So did Putin, hence all of our shirtless pics together
So if I make a joke about a presidential candidate, that must mean I'm pro the other candidate! Man people are sensitive
Me and Mick Jagger made out with the same chick at Clinton's Fundraiser last year. Mick got my sloppy seconds, I aint no bitch
Best place to get some? Trump Tower. He's got a gold plated toilet that my cheeks just love
Hell I don't want to release my tax returns either! I was in the clear until my accountant said that I can't write off my porn subscriptions
If I told you I have Trump's tax returns, is that something you might be interested in?
Russia cheating in the Olympics? Yeah I knew that shit. Vlad told me after we went horseback riding together
Tapas are a rip off. A bunch of small plates for a premium. I much prefer Golden Corral...still have all the flexibility and choice I need!
Harambe was my boy. We used to play checkers together on Thursdays
Last time I heard the word "malarkey" was during Chappelle show. However, raging Joey Biden has said it three times. Cut the malarkey Joe
E is still making my true Hollywood story even after the incident
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