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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

gypsy of life... looking for a lover... I know how to herd more than a few flock of sheep, if that's what you're looking for (DM me) Joined May 2012
  • Tweets
    41
  • Followers
    38
  • Following
    346
  • Likes
    5
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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

11 years ago

Who else could go for a soft-serve cone in between some breastesses right now? Retweet=YES, Fav=Fuck yes

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

11 years ago

The puzzy was so hot that I had to buy an extra pair of mittens for the kitchen... Damnit! Not another $30 ticket to the ice age penis man

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

11 years ago

45 followers? Is this a sick joke?? I was famous and Twitter took my people away... But #ImBackBitches #IWasFamous #Now45Friends

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

11 years ago

Twitter tried to suspend me for three bloody years... But I'm like Michael fucking Jackson, give me 1 white glove + 3 condoms #ImBackBitches

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

11 years ago

King Henry VIII may have lacked the Y-chromosome, but I have the whole alphabet to spare for these women on the globe

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

11 years ago

Thankful? Yea. Stomach full of acid? Possibly. Penis covered in dust? Ha, as if...

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

The sky is as gray as her asshole but by adding frosting and lots of lube it became identical to buying a nightgown at Walmart and sexting

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

@taylorswift13 prom?

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

@JesseMcCartney HAHA! But click this link to see how @emilyfilippo96 really feels about you.

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

She blew the candles off the cake then she blew my mind. I projectile vomited and we cuddled for 3 minutes.I'm addicted to straight chilling

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

Will she not sing me to sleep because I dream of George Washington's past life? I flicked her mind until she couldn't breathe. #domination

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

As I smiled at the tree that one fall evening, the bird chirped for me to release my pants. I projected laughter and semen through the lake

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

Chad helped me clean my pores vigorously today. Next thing I knew Asian women surrounded my kneecap, come hither and arouse my mind and fury

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

FUCK she yelled as I turbocharged the knife in her dignity. I will make her prance at the idea of giraffe love making if only she whispers

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

Shall I not raise the roof when the thief snatches my virginity? "Honk honk" goes the car, but shall I quiver in my sleep until dawn?

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

I am lying in bed listening to the music that her breasts make

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

I will change my position if you wish. But you first must lick my earlobe swiftly and rapidly. The duck chuckles at tickling of the mind?

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

"Unfollow any of your followers who don't follow Carl Woodcock"-Obama. Not my rules. His.

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

"Happy new year" she screamed as she smothered my penis in urine and ecstasy

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Carl Woodcock @RealTalkCarl

14 years ago

So the balls dropped last night as the penis withered into the last pyramid of the season.Will I fish for the food of Africa or the breasts?

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