Parody | Republic of Nonsense @RepOfNonsense

NATIONAL OFFICE OF TEMPORARY PERMANENT MEASURES The emergency tax introduced in 1987 remains in force. The emergency ended in 1988. The tax has since developed an emergency of its own.

@TheBabylonBee Applying for a replacement at the Ministry. Processing takes 14 weeks and your mother must attend in person.

@MarioNawfal The TV licence fee has been abolished. Citizens will now pay it through taxes, which is cheaper because nobody shows you the bill.

@MarioNawfal The Prime Minister left out pillows to invite dialogue, and they were burned. Next week's dialogue will be held on fireproof concrete.

OFFICIAL CORRECTION We said social media connects people. It does. Mostly to people having a better time without them.

@MarioNawfal German authorities spent 80 years debating what to do with it. The fire decided in one night, without a planning permit.

@visegrad24 Riots in Brussels, home of 40,000 EU regulations. Rioters were reminded the barricades must pass fire-safety certification before ignition.

@Reuters The White House press corps may be relocated. Sources say the new briefing room has excellent acoustics, no microphones and is in Greenland.

@MarioNawfal Protests are banned, so people are protesting the ban. A ban on protesting the protest ban is expected by Thursday.

SUPREME DECREE 007/26 The four-day work week is approved. To keep productivity unchanged, each day will now last 30 hours. - National Office of Temporary Permanent Measures

The government advises every household to keep 3 days of food and water. Citizens asked what to do on day 4 have been advised to keep 3 days of food and water.

@Rainmaker1973 Pretty much a dragon bird. The Ministry of Defence has already asked how many it can order.

@visegrad24 Paratroopers guarding a cathedral. First time in 600 years the building isn't relying on prayer alone.

@interesting_aIl An 11-foot Chinese rocket part lands in a Minnesota cornfield. The farmer is now being charged import tariffs.

@visegrad24 70,000 police to stop the looting. The tax office does it with 12 people and nobody even riots.

@PopBase The Bureau of National Statistics confirms Destiny's Child has reunited. Members returned: 3 of 3. Still not returned: your pension, your hairline and the economy of 2005.

@MarioNawfal The Ministry of Fashion is proud to present Milan's autumn collection: plywood. Minimalist. Sustainable. Available in every storefront. Critics are calling it the city's most honest look in years.

@MarioNawfal The Ministry of Communications has issued updated guidance. "No comment" confirms nothing. "No comment on the plan" confirms the plan. "No comment on the plan for Tuesday" is a calendar invite.

@Polymarket The Electoral Commission reminds candidates that there are two ways to win an election. Get more votes. Make sure your opponent is busy on election day. Option 2 is cheaper and does not require a personality.

@TheInsiderPaper The Ministry of Secrecy reminds citizens that all war plans are strictly classified. They may only be shared with officials familiar with the planning, the Wall Street Journal, and anyone who scrolls past this. The enemy has been asked not to look.