Rick Santorum @RickIsGay
Just a deeply closeted homosexual running for President. I enjoy porn, poppers, and politics. Joined January 2012-
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@ChrisCrocker Gurrrl, I am totes your biggest fan! You're so getting an invite to the White House when I take it over.
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I bought a sequin sweatervest for tomorrow's primary! Time to sparkle betches!
Elevators in the Santorum White House will play showtunes ONLY.
I cannot wait to bedazzle the shit out of Air Force One.
We have to fix this country's unemployment crisis. But gurl FIRST we need to fix Wolf Blitzer's wardrobe.
MSNBC wants to do a live interview with me tonight at 9. Umm HELLO dont they know that is when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills comes on?
I'm in the makeup room at CNN and this ho keeps trying to put Covergirl on me. Betch, if it's not L'Oreal Paris it is NOT going on my face
Just read online that Mitt Romney 'won' the debate last night. Gasping and clutching my pearls! I SO won that debate!
I hate when I'm at a gay bar and someone asks me what drink I prefer. Honey, I would suck the alcohol out of a deodarant stick, ok?!
Time for Sunday brunch! Gurl, I think "mimosa" is French for "I don't wanna wait until noon to get hammered"
Has anyone seen my sequin floor-length gown? The gold one, not the blue one. I'm beginning to think I left it in Iowa...
We need to fix the economy, but gurl first we need to fix Diane Sawyer's hair. #NHdebate
OK, who hid my poppers? NOT funny, guys.
The Santorum White House: Manicure Mondays, Tips Tuesdays, Disco Wednesdays, Lip Sync Thursdays, Fashion Magazine Fridays
Goals for tonight's debate: 1. Expose the flaws in Mitt Romney's foreign policy propsals. 2. Find out Rick Perry's hotel room number
We need to find out if Iran is harboring destructive weapons. But first we need to find out if Rick Perry is a top or bottom. #NHdebate
There will be no handshakes in the Santorum White House. Air kisses only. #NHdebate
First order of business as President: make the Fashion Police a real thing. Gurrrl, some of these politicians are about to get 25 to life.
Eisenhower put a launry room in the White House, Nixon put in a bowling alley, and I'll put in a gay club.
My first executive order will be to change our country's colors from red, white, and blue to scarlet, pearl, and navy.
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