SWF_Help @SWF_Help
We're South Western Failway! Here to not help and cancel or delay all trains. We're proud to be a part of @IslandFail. London, England Joined February 2025-
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I hope you all love our Arterio trains. These have majorly transformed our suburban network! Because we're not utter dickheads we've installed Vossloh motors onto our 769s. Something we took from @lesseranglia_'s renatus 321s. ^JK
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Our Class 458s and @GrandCancel 180s are beating each other up to prove who is the best Juniper. Clearly, it's our 458s. Come at us, GC! ^JK
Air conditioning that works 'unconditionally.' ^JK
Just partying it out in the main office at London Waterloo while our 450s catch on fire and shortformed 455s are forced to run Haslemere services. ^JK
Have you acquired your very own Crap2Go card? It's the absolute BOLLOCKS! We'll charge you 799.99 quid when not using this card. If you use it, the price will be 799.98 quid. Value for money, I say! Get your very own Crap2Go card toda- (And cut... i fucking suck at this Tom!)
Arterio.
No. It has catapults, though. ^JK
HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Take our 455s on the Reading line! No Air conditioning, no toilets, just windows! Better then nothing though. ^JK
A refund of 0.99 is available to request. ^JK
Ah yes, what's been going on recently, you may ask? I'm glad you asked! Half of our 455s are now in the scrapyard being melted into turds while only 20 of our 701s are in service after 6 YEARS! And our 458/5s are dying out like the elderly pieces of shit they are. ^JK
We've returned, motherfuckers! Sorry for the month of inactivity, I was on holiday. We are so fucking back! ^JK
Heeeeeeelloooooooo. Welcome back to another week of cancellations, delays, and shortforms. We have 2 car 158s spreaded out on every route. 158889 has returned to us. So, you'll get a 3 hour frequency. Hope you enjoy the improvement! ^JK
I have an excellent singing voice. I got F- LALALLALLALALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAALAAAALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAA
To show off our love, we pulled this toilet out of that ugly piece of shit on the left. @GreatBritishFailways, will you pay for a new toilet? Because there's my 9 week old puke in it. ^JK
Hello, ^JK here once more to probably not help again, but, eh. Just the circle of life. Anyways, @LNEFailway, what's on the menu for dinner?
Tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis washing away our 484s, etc.
Tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis washing away our 484s, etc.
Will anything actually improve! We've not improved one bit! ^JK
Will anything actually improve! We've not improved one bit! ^JK
Oh, by the way. These were second-rate pieces of shit from the trash pile. We spent like a 100 quid to lease them. We can improve. Oh yeah, they're staying in GWR livery. We can't be assed... ^JK
Oh, by the way. These were second-rate pieces of shit from the trash pile. We spent like a 100 quid to lease them. We can improve. Oh yeah, they're staying in GWR livery. We can't be assed... ^JK
I quite throughly love our Class 769s, much needed improvements on our Arterios. What do you think? Is the slower acceleration a joy? We'll fit them with the Vossloh motors from 17 of our 455s. A shame we can't get 769535/549 back. ^JK
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6 Followers 65 Following Welcome to EMF. We're not here to help! (Parody account)
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344 Followers 459 Following Unofficially bringing you the worst of Great Western Railway's cock ups and delays.... an open place to vent your frustrations.
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lewis broad head @arrvia443
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