SWR Halp @SW_Halp

A light hearted parody account, trying to raise a smile amongst long-suffering passengers. No offence meant and not targeted at individual, hard working staff southwesternfailway.com On the train tracks Joined November 2018

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543
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525

Jeremy D @JeremyDunton

4 years ago

Well done @SW_Halp Nearly four hours from London to Exeter and “even” in first class there are no refreshments…. Service? No!! #cannotrunarailway

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Jeremy D @JeremyDunton

4 years ago

@SW_Help do you have any idea when your app will be working again? Trying to book tickets from CLJ to Paignton - computer says no! Looking at live updates - ditto! I presume @grantshapps and his band are aware of this week long problem @swtrains_watch @SW_Halp

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SWR Halp @SW_Halp

4 years ago

DELAYED | The 1722 Service from Basingstoke to Waterloo is delayed. This is due to recent fuel shortages and delays down to large queues. ^Meg

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JLH @mrjonnybananas

4 years ago

@SW_Help @SW_Halp First SWT train I’ve caught in 2 yrs. Runs so late I miss my connection. Adds almost an hour to my journey. I’ll miss my lift and I’ll have to get a cab to my destination as usual. Consistent service I suppose.

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Prima Patel @misspatel16

4 years ago

@SW_Help I left my aftershokz headphones on the 7:47 train from Waterloo to Egham. Is there anyway of finding out if these were handed in or picked up by the guard? Thank you ,🤞

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Larry the Cat @Number10cat

4 years ago

Happy #Caturday

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SWR Halp @SW_Halp

4 years ago

From this Monday the viewing of @OnlyFans videos, or indeed any other sexual video will be strictly forbidden on our services. Guards will be checking passenger's mobile devices as they patrol the carriage. Thank you for your cooperation. ^Bruce (Passenger Enforcer)

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SWR Halp @SW_Halp

4 years ago

ATTENTION | We will be running reduced services over the Christmas period. Thank you for your understanding.

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SWR Halp @SW_Halp

5 years ago

COVID-19 | All Guards and Staff will be wearing the pictured full facial masks from tomorrow. These will be mandatory for passengers too, and are available for free. Note that a £29.99 fitting charge applies. Thanks ^Donna (Chief Mask Fitter) #ClapForSWR

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SWR Halp @SW_Halp

5 years ago

Everyone at SWR Headquarters completely agrees with this. We have lost around 25% of our work force as they have been blindly licking themselves (and others) clean after finishing a Bargain Bucket. ^Barb (Temporary Head of Employee Hygiene"

Sky News @SkyNews

5 years ago

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SWR Halp @SW_Halp

5 years ago

MEET THE TEAM | This is Colin, he's been a member of the customer service team for 16 years. His hobbies include running, bird watching and travelling. We will be putting your questions to him over the next few days. Any questions for Colin?

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Melissa Cole @MelissaCole

5 years ago

Hi @SW_Help carriage 74434 on the train that left Barnes for Waterloo at 14.34 makes noises like a million frogs being flattened, slowly, through a rusty sugar cane press, whilst a thousand hyenas chorus approval & drag their claws down chalkboards Just thought you should know.

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Vicky P @vjpurcell

5 years ago

@WhoOrderedRice @SW_Halp

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Natalie @WhoOrderedRice

5 years ago

Fuck me, this train feels like the driver is driving it like he stole it!! #turbulance on a train?? 😳😱 @SW_Halp

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Jeremy D @JeremyDunton

5 years ago

Tough luck if you are going to Bagshot, but the MD of @SW_Halp said he would stop doing this. Retweet if you find it really annoying and you only have one train an hour on your line! Or you bought a home with a metro service!!

Rail Complainer @Rail_Complainer

5 years ago

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Thames Valley Police @ThamesVP

5 years ago

Amelia Adlam, Andrew’s step-sister, has paid the following trbiute to PC Andrew Harper, following the one-year-anniversary of his death. “The hole you have left in our hearts is greater than the room left. My friendly giant, My biggest buddy and now my angel. I love you x"

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JLH @mrjonnybananas

5 years ago

@SW_Help @SW_Halp @sw_railway thanks. Another £40 trip home with @Uber because you can’t run your trains. I work in retail and spend minimum £100 a week on cabs because you can’t run a few trains. Please die of a fly infestation in your anus. You cost me over £6,5000 a year.

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Lee Sykes @honestfballfan

5 years ago

@SW_Help I've said it before and I will say if again; Why in all that is holy are the door beeps on your trains so ear-piercingly loud. It is incredibly unpleasant and unnecessary.