SeinfeldTodayOz @SeinfeldTodayOz

Blue Tick Day George: What! I was this close -THIS CLOSE Jerry -to getting 1m followers Jerry: Meh. My Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Book is now in 15m homes Kramer: Newman’s getting me a blue tick on the black market Elaine: I was never really a fan of little blue ticks

SEINFELD ELECTION: George offers Latvian Orthodox community a new church if they vote for him, Kramer turns Newman’s postal van into ‘Vote 1 Cosmo’ vehicle, Jerry’s posters are vandalised with moustaches and he looks like Ron Burgundy,and John F Kennedy Jr runs Elaine’s campaign

SEINFELD TODAY: Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine meet Elon Musk and ask him to fund a new social media platform, the Yada Yada. While in the meeting, Kramer spruiks his beach-scented cologne and Elaine talks incessantly about the J Peterman Catalogue

SEINFELD TODAY: Kramer’s has $25b in policies not costed, Jerry wants to tax postmen more to infuriate Newman, George’s main policy is workers should be able to sleep two hours mid-afternoon, and Elaine starts a political party where only ridiculously good looking people can join

SEINFELD TODAY: In the spirit of giving to Ukraine, Elaine sends Soup Nazi recipes, Kramer 100 boxes of Morty Seinfeld’s raincoats and Jerry sends jokes for Zelensky to use at his next gig. Meanwhile George, in the spirit of George, ships Big Macs to Moscow for $50 a burger

SEINFELD TODAY: George considers being a Ukrainian freedom fighter if rumour of double frequent flyer points is true, Elaine learns Ukrainian in case Zelensky replies to her IG DM, and Kramer’s Ukraine ex Daria tells White House he’s an oligarch due to vast Cuban cigar collection

SEINFELD TODAY: George scours dating sites for the hottest potential Ukrainian bride, Kramer offers Kiev his oversupply of rapid home tests he and Newman scammed, a smitten Elaine DMs Zelensky on Instagram, and Jerry bunkers down and writes ‘what’s the deal with Putin’ jokes

Seinfeld Today: Elaine loses her shit when she gets to the front of the line and testing site is closed, Jerry suspects his new gf has a fake vax certificate, Kramer believes he has a new strain called Cosmocron, and George woos a woman by pretending he is a hardcore anti-vaxxer

Instead of paying a cleaner George reports massive COVID outbreak at his apartment so the health dept will deep clean his home, Elaine dumps guy who says he “wings it” on home COVID tests rather than read directions in box, and Kramer enters year three of multi-slacking from home

The gang book in for the protein-based Novavax Covid vaccine. George thinks protein may firm up his man boobs, Jerry thinks it will help his skin, Elaine just wants to see hot nurse at vax centre again, and Kramer is craving protein after sleeping 20 hours a day on vegan diet

George eats an eclair from the trash but has instant regret and thinks he’ll die from COVID, Elaine really likes guy she’s seeing until he says Lizard People are spreading COVID, and Jerry’s first grocery shop with his gf starts badly when she doesn’t wipe down the trolley handle

George is sneezing so thinks he has COVID and applies for disabled parking permit, Elaine says her date is COVID high risk because he doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet, and Kramer borrows Jerry’s and Elaine’s phones for QR check-ins so he can keep living off the grid

Seinfeld Today: George has COVID but tells his gf it’s a cold so she’ll sleep with him, Elaine’s bf is diagnosed with long COVID so she dumps him, Jerry replicates Bubble Boy’s room to avoid COVID, and Kramer’s alias Dr Martin van Nostrand writes fake vax certificates for $200

Elaine dumps her bf when his COVID makes him shout talk like Frank Costanza, Kramer accidentally sets a ‘I Fear God, not COVID’ flag on fire at a rally and an angry mob chase him, and to get a booster shot George takes a walker to an aged care home and pretends to be a resident

Elaine loses her mind when she has to cancel a date with JFK jr while waiting for PCR test result, Jerry suspects his gf has had one facemask for 2+ years, Kramer thinks dog pills will stop him getting Omicron, and George woos a lady by claiming he doted on his COVID sick parents

Jerry’s new gf catches him looking for germs in her bathroom with a UV flashlight from a home COVID kit, Kramer’s Kramerica Industries buys 5 million COVID test kits from Peterman in Burma, and George woos a woman by saying UNICEF sent him to India on a COVID humanitarian mission

Elaine really likes guy she’s seeing until he says his dog gave him Omicron, Jerry’s elated Newman has COVID and can’t leave home for 14 days, George becomes an ambulance driver but turns radio off every 4 hours to nap, and Kramer sells masks with holes in them for cigar smokers

George has centre court tennis tickets but can’t focus as curly redhead sitting next to him wearing frowning face mask looks like his mother, Jerry puts a QR code on his door for visitors to scan, and Elaine dumps her bf after mild COVID infection turns him into a whiny man-baby

Elaine dumps her bf for not giving her his last remaining home COVID test, George pretends he is a Wordle fanatic- “gotta love the Wordle!”- so a writer will go on a date with him, and Jerry’s new gf is a mask lipstick smear repeat offender but he doesn’t know how to bring it up