Bitter Waitress @Shitty_Server
Oh, I'm sorry I took longer than a minute to bring you your 15th refill, prick. Joined November 2012-
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When your table leaves a coupon as their tip.
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Bitter Waitress retweeted
@Shitty_Server A quick vid about bugging servers to take a photo. RT. Ur followers will love it. #serverlife youtube.com/watch?v=fRl8nJ…
Yeah hi, would you mind talking to me and not your phone screen? It's called SOCIAL SKILLS people!
"Why are you cutting me off? Im not even drunk!" The real reason I cut you off is b/c you haven't tipped once, so back away from the bar.
That awkward moment you run into people you've served in public and they act like your friend. Ughhhhh
Tis the season for gift cards! Meaning, people ferociously calculating if they can get their meal to as close to $25 as possible....
That smell is because I hate you, and I just crop dusted your table.
I'll get the same thing she's having, but no lettuce, no tomato, no mayo, instead of fries can I get salad? Not really the same thing, FYI.
"This isn't what I ordered!" I always bring them a menu & ask them to find me what they ordered, then. Then they realize they are idiots.
I know, fuck me for standing here taking your order, right? How inconsiderate of me to be asking you what you want to eat. In a restaurant.
What's the best deal? How many ounces in a bottle vs draft beer? What's a better value? .....OMG.
"Were in a hurry, we need 2 be out in like 20 mins" it's Friday nite, let me just talk 2 the wizard behind the curtain & see what I can do.
I love leading bitchy, fat people to booths. "Oh, you want a table now?" Sure, no problem, you rude cow.
Servers from the restaurant next door come in at 1:45 & stay till 2:45. We're 99% done our close. As fellow servers, why do u do this to me?
Trust me, I hate upselling shit just as much as you hate hearing about it!
When people bitch about prices. I'm sorry, I don't set the prices. I just serve at the restaurant YOU CHOSE to come to.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate a chill, normal, friendly table of decent human beings.
I would rather shit in my hands & clap than deal with your annoying, crying, snotnosed kid while they throw crushed up crackers everywhere.
Yes were a party of 14. Yes, we all want separate cheques. Yes, were all douches. Yes, we'll be annoyed u can't take all our pmnts at once.
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