St. AugOsteen @StAugOsteen
Tolle, lege: take up and read. God didn't create you to be average. Hippo Joined May 2015-
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He’ll thrust you into your purpose, to the lowest parts of this world, as it were, incarcerated till the final damnation in the day of judgment.
Hell, which also is called a lake of fire and brimstone, will be material fire, and will torment the bodies of the damned. A mark of maturity is when you can be happy even when things aren’t going your way.
But remember, as God carries you, you’re also going to come into these moments of favor where He catapults you ahead, cast into the lake of fire and brimstone.
But who can explain the strange properties of fire itself, which blackens everything it burns, discolors almost all it touches and feeds upon, and turns blazing fuel into grimy cinders? Underneath those ashes, an ember is still alive. All you have to do is stir it up.
God’s getting you ready to go where you’ve never been, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
Extremes of heat and cold, storms, floods, lightning, thunder, hail, earthquakes, houses falling; from the stumbling of horses; from poisons in fruits, water, air, animals; from painful or deadly bites of animals At the start of the day, you need to set your mind for victory.
Fraud, theft, robbery, murders, parricides, cruelty, ferocity, wickedness, insolence, impudence, shamelessness, fornications, adulteries, incests? Make up your mind that no matter what people do, no matter what they say, how they treat you, they’re not going to steal your joy.
There are histories of numberless wars, both before the building of Rome and since its rise and the extension of its dominion. That’s a lot of emotional energy that’s not doing any good.
Don’t put a question mark where God put a period. Be the goddess Mena, whom they set over the menstruation of women.
Do you remember when I joined Twitter? A great work this, and an arduous; but God is my helper. #MyTwitterAnniversary
We all face situations that look too big: the opposition too strong, the sickness too bad. And therefore, it were truer to say that we shall always be miserable than that we can some time be happy.
"Lord, log me off this stupid site! But not yet." – Augustine of Twitter
God will put dreams in your heart that you can’t accomplish by yourself: a dream as when one awaketh, and suddenly finds himself destitute.
How many kinds of poisons, weapons, engines of destruction, have been invented! As long as you’re looking back at the old, you won’t see the new.
We try to eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, take vitamins. That’s all important. But what if a man suffers from curvature of the spine to such an extent that his hands reach the ground, and he goes upon all-fours like a quadruped?
God has new mountains for you to climb, new friendships, levels of influence, extremes of heat and cold, storms, floods, inundations, lightning, thunder, hail, earthquakes, houses falling, the vice of horses; poison in water, air; the painful, even deadly bites of wild animals.
The mists of passion steamed up out of the puddly concupiscence of the flesh and the hot imagination of puberty. Now it’s up to you what you do with that promise.
Quit worrying; quit losing sleep. Our whole life is nothing but a race towards death.
Listen to this message from Joel, "You're Going to Laugh Again." Would not every Christian, learned or unlearned, laugh at him?
See yourself the way God sees you, a most vile and worthless thing, no better than slime and dust.
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@galooticus @StAugOsteen the admin of this twitter account deserves the nobel prize in literature
@samstephens91 See, here’s where @StAugOsteen is useful
@StAugOsteen @ChrchCurmudgeon Pestilence too? Please let there be pestilence.
@StAugOsteen @ChrchCurmudgeon Yet, ironically, loved by God
@StAugOsteen Amazing. This could also be a quote from one of the Duffelpuds in "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader."
@_matthewpearson The fantastic parody account is @StAugOsteen
@StAugOsteen You, my man, deserve a follow for this single Tweet. You made me laugh out loud.
@StAugOsteen i don't think you will ever surpass this one.
I am not lying. Facebook tried to translate Chumbawamba
Thinking of starting a Wheel of Time/Bible twitter account à la @StAugOsteen "The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. Nothing is hidden from its heat."
There are accounts mashing up Kim Kardashian with Søren Kierkegaard (@KimKierkegaard) and Joel Osteen with St. Augustine (@StAugOsteen). I feel like it could be good to have a mash-up between Eric Metaxas and Dietrich Bonhoeffer. It would be every bit as absurdist.
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