Worst Adjunct Ever @THATAdjunctProf

Holy shit this is still here. I've been in the desert of New Mexico awaiting the apacolypse. Damn that false prophet.

I mean yeah, he's technically got Downs Syndrome, but those guys will do ANYTHING for a letter of recommendation.

Man. That end of the day scotch would be so much better with that blonde teaching assistant giving me head...

Grading paper is like eating a bunch of shit sandwiches. You know each one has different textures and nuances, but they're still shit.

Either I stayed up late grading papers, or the meth I smoked didn't quite do it's job. Either way, I'm planning on a mid day nap.

And realize that I probably shouldn't be dressed in a bloody clown suit when I think these things.

I keep looking at PhD programs and thinking, "man, if I were a doctor my students would HAVE to respect me" Then I look in the mirror...

Which is me sitting outside your window with a camera, tissues and a bottle of KY.

Yes. I know my long emails at weird hours may *look* inappropriate and creepy to students. But c'mon. It's better than the alternative...

OMG!! MOST EPIC COKE BENDER EVER!!!!

Taylor Swift apparently doesn't know about love. I think it's pretty simple. It involves a rubber suit, ball gag, and a prostitute, right?

Why do they call it "going commando?" I mean it's not like you're going to kill someone with your unfettered dong, right? Hmmm...#cocksword

Holy crap my office is warm. Do you think waking around naked would be considered inappropriate?

I saw my first episode of #glee. In what world do 30 y/o's pass as high school kids? And where I might find porn of this nature?

It feels good to be back home. Now where is the bathroom? I've got two kilos of Colombian "sugar" that I need to get out of my ass.

*brushes self off* So listen kids, being in a Colombian Prison for human trafficking isn't the best career decision. Luckily I have tenure.

Managed to escape a deranged students home, after he wanted "private" lessons. I told him I don't swing that way. For less than $100...

I love reading my students interesting and insightful essays. #liesitellmyself

Shaping the minds of students is a great feeling. #liesitellmyself

I accidentally lost my bag with the graded mid-terms. More importantly, the bag also had a few items of import.If anyone asks, it's oregano.