Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

Life is better with a tan. Apple Valley, MN Joined December 2009

Tweets

405
Followers

92
Following

419
Likes

23

Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

a month ago

I’m sitting in between an old lady snacking and a man whispering to himself. I’m 7 seconds from losing my mind! #oilchange

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

3 months ago

Finding out my baby cousin coerced my Aunt and Uncle to pay for her Hinge is the ultimate flex! #singlelife

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

8 months ago

I can’t be trusted to grocery shop without a list. I can remember all the mean things said to me in 3rd grade but I can’t remember cottage cheese!! #groceryfail

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

a year ago

It’s 10 am on a Saturday and I’m in line waiting for Half Price Books to open. What has my life become!?

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

a year ago

Word to the wise - don’t squat and sneeze with a full bladder #closecall #accidentwaitingtohhappen

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

a year ago

I peaked in college and ever since I have just been tumbling down the backside of the mountain hitting every rock and shrub on the way down. Really hoping I land on a plateau so I can peak again!

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

a year ago

She was drunk? I thought she had Alzheimer’s. She asked me the same question 5 times!

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

2 years ago

Anyone else look at one of their old bras and think she’s seen some things. She’s a survivor? … Just me? Cool cool!

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

2 years ago

Adulting: Spent $23.55 on a cord for my diffuser just to see if it’s broken or not #worthit

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

2 years ago

Respectfully… Eat brick Matt Stafford. #fantasyflop

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I get pissed every time Kevin doesn’t eat the mac and cheese! Are we supposed to believe he pulled all that off on an empty stomach? #idontthinkso #homealone #wetbandits #whythehellyoudressedlikeachicken

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

2 years ago

I got called hot Justin tonight.

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

2 years ago

Stannis Baratheon is such a BOOB!

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Jessica Ptachick @Tach32

2 years ago

I have been up since 5 am. Threw up in a gas station parking lot. I’m in no mood to listen to small talk in this VERY long gas station bathroom line. Stephanie! And the lint roller is right there in front of your face!!