jack taylor @TaylorCommaJack
Joined February 2009-
Tweets21K
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Followers597
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Following995
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Likes37K
if i were doing PR for trump -- which i hope to eventually -- i'd advise he smooth things over by saying, "i just do what the voices tell me to🤷♂️"
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i was just in the restroom at target. heard a poop plop into the bowl, then a drawn out sigh, and the fella said "of course" out loud to himself
"the boys are back in town?" "honey, they never left. they enrolled in a local community college. and honey? it's been really good for them. they're growing into themselves before shipping off to finish their degrees. appreciate you asking."
nfl players should list their pronouns on their jerseys, eliminate the guesswork
big believer in the rule of 3s. for example, this tweet will get less than 3 likes
what makes a tweet? is it gusto? joie de vivre? or a keyboard and good ol' fashioned hard work?
in the spirit of thanksgiving, i will be buying several gifts for myself
you're calling me an ignorant prick with no dick? please let me catch up with these insults before you pile on another one
gwen stefani is what happens when you stefani a gwen, but you're not ready for that conversation
taylor swift just came to my choir practice, but you wont see that covered on cbs
[hasn't seen the show] "sounds about right to me, chef!"
in a mood to apologize to everyone i've ever wronged
i mostly like tiktok for the "slice of life" content. have a good sunday, everyone
every pitchfork review should start with the line "in this review, i will be talking about music"
i have the spirit of an athlete (tie my shoes tight)
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H @HarrisRudman
827 Followers 355 Following GOOD DAYS BAD DREAMS out now #candygang https://t.co/Loln5rbyAL
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homunculus monk @lannydevis
257 Followers 387 Following Really dumb smart guy. consumer of high quality produce ELE
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