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Ted @TedParody

Johnny's thunder buddy for life! **This is a parody account** Make $$$ on Twitter by using this link: http://t.co/FTgBI7VM Joined April 2012
  • Tweets
    2K
  • Followers
    6K
  • Following
    4
  • Likes
    405
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Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

You're about 8 beers away from being my type.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

Well hello Friday, you sexy son of a bitch.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

If a bunch of midgets do the wave... Would it be called a ripple?

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Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

If you take the vowels out of FEMALE, you get FML. Coincidence? I think not.

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Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

In awkward situations, we all pretend to text.

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Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

My middle finger gets a raging boner when I think of you.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

@420XL Sponsor @stonerjesus420!

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house in fresh socks and step on a random wet spot.

Ted retweeted
SlowBurnnn Profile Picture

Slow Burn @SlowBurnnn

14 years ago

Ew these places are disgusting! Never smoke and eat here!!! bit.ly/WLhwV0 - sp

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

I’ve always pronounced duct tape as duck tape.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

Me in 4th grade: Wow swearing is so bad I won't ever swear! Me now: Pass the motherfuckin salt you bitch.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

If I die in my sleep, at least I can actually say that I died doing what I loved.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

You ever just look at someone and instantly get mad?

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

I turned my phone on "AIRPLANE MODE" and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes, unless he is wearing crocs. At that point, you already know he's a douche.

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Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

I'm no gynecologist but I know a cunt when I see one.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

Shit happens. I mean, look at your face.

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Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

(`-`) (._. ) (· - ·) ( ) ( ._.) ( ' -') Oh, excuse me. Just lookin for a fuck to give.

TedParody Profile Picture

Ted @TedParody

14 years ago

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you a lot.

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