Dear Mom -(4/2/06) You passed on a Sunday in the afternoon. 18 years later the town of Commack still hears my echoing scream of pain and sorrow. It was two hours before I let them take your body. I then carried you're lifeless body through the tiny hallway of you're apartment as the gurney could not navigate you're apartment. I placed you down so gently and kissed you're forehead and collapsed. I would not speak another word for 6 days. You were not just my mother. You were my father, my best friend, my therapist, my life coach and my everything. I do not, nor did not need 9/11 to define me and my body of work the last two decades that is matched by no one. I simply needed to let everyone know it was you who defines me. You're words, the way you raised me and the way you trained me to fight, serve and protect. I am so sad because you never got the chance to see that two decades of 19 pieces of legislation, $10 million donated, a park built, a kidney donation, etc body of work that you knew I would succeed before everyone else including me. I truly pray you are watching somewhere like you used to do in my wrestling days and slamming the mat saying that's my son. I pray I have not let you down. I pray you are proud of me. And I pray you forgive me for those I abandoned or hurt the last 18 years because I didn't know what pain was. I now know what it is to feel pain mentally, emotionally and physically, and it hurts. And what I learned most since you have be gone is that this tired warrior is ready to put down his sword and pick up his rake, plant something and watch it grow with loved ones. But my sword will always be close by, because the cries of injustice are frequent and cut through me like a knife where I have no choice but to fight again. I yearn to go home, wherever that is. But my journey home sadly has not ended yet, and is often interrupted by another fight. But I promise you this journey was worth it and this time home is within reach. Because I know when I get there, peace & calm will be waiting for me. 18 years ago today you left me physically and the pain has never left me. But for 18 years you have been my sword and rake. I will never know the warmth of your hug again. I will never know what it is like to kiss your forehead again. But if we ever get the chance to see each other again I promise to never let go. I love you/miss you Patricia Feal! #MissMyMom
@TheJohnFeal9117 My eyes are filled with tears reading your beautiful tribute to your mother. An unmatched love between mother and son. Inspirational. She would be over the moon proud of you!
@TheJohnFeal9117 John, what a sweet tribute to your mom. Her love for you lives on in the love you give to others.
@TheJohnFeal9117 Sending love John. I wish I could hold you.
@TheJohnFeal9117 My Mom passed in 2001. Sometimes it feels like yesterday & other days it feels like so long ago. Sending hugs to you. 🤗 🥰
@TheJohnFeal9117 You are the person we should all aspire to be. You laugh hard and love even harder. Beautiful tribute. You honor her legacy in everything that you do. ❤️
@TheJohnFeal9117 I'm sure your mother is very proud of you. I lost my mother in April as well and know the intensity of such pain. So, sorry for your loss 😢
Amazing words, John. I pray for peace and love for you. Yes, your Mom is right there. She's not in pain anymore. She's not lonely anymore. She watches over you and she knows everything now. She now knows you deeply. She loves you more than she could ever show. She holds nothing against you. She has no need to forgive you. The past has no power over her. She just loves that you're making it through your grief. Live your dreams whether small or ambitious. She wants you to live. Don't be afraid to talk to her. On very quiet nights, when everyone else is asleep, she can even make her presence known. Thank you for sharing your story. ☮️💖🙏 Hugs to you.
@TheJohnFeal9117 This broke my heart. I'm so sorry.