Zach Hensler @Themapleleaf
{A}x(Mx→{E}y(Yy^Dyx)) M = me; Y= you; D = does tonight Los Angeles Joined August 2009-
Tweets353
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Followers33
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Following59
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Likes32
Tweets of the upper class "Where in the fuck is my ice pick"
"I don't no why you drink beer, it's bad for you" 'Oh really, why?' "Cause then you'll get drunk"
In the process of spiking the family's cider, everybody in da club gettin tipps
After the mimosas and Irish coffees gotta drive and do the whole house change. The alcohol will make interesting
Well mimosas are gone... Time for apple brandy bitches.
UPDATE: Mimosas totally cure hangovers. Like fuck yeah.
Time for my annual Xmas drunk tweet fest. This year featuring a massive bourbon hangover. Lets hope mimosas will fix this.
Considering I've gained like 4 new followers, I should consider tweeting more Just know, the drunken Xmas texts are coming Prepare thy body
I'm looking forward to the day when I can open the newspaper and not see anything about a mass shooting.
@DinosThirdTwitt: In honor of Before Orel, I have spent the night drinking, cleaning my bathroom and marathoning the show. I'm not worthy.
There's enough caffeine in my system to kill a horse. #YOLO! (Sorry I couldn't resist. Blame the legal drugs)
Here's to five miserable months on the wagon. And the irreparable harm its caused me. #shining
“@Theebuddha: Unfortunately, due to recent events, anyone named "Sandy" is karmically f*cked.”
I'm not holier than thou, but I am holier than you. - @DinosThirdTwitt
Stuart Lauters @Stuart_Lauters
65 Followers 2K Following
[insert name here] @criticalma55
7 Followers 86 Following
dnobis @arlada_obisna
1 Followers 61 Following
Rachel Dominguez @RachelDBeachbod
282 Followers 1K Following Network Marketing Independent BeachBody Coach & Distributor... Team building and putting an end to the obesity epidemic one Beachbody program at a time:)
Melissa Miller @FitMeliss
14 Followers 94 Following
Kelley Hickel @kelleyhickel1
5 Followers 53 Following
AJ Glassman @ajglss
41 Followers 175 Following
Stephen Smith @stephentsmith
318 Followers 206 Following I'm more entertaining on Instagram. Content does not reflect opinions given of brands I represent. ...or I’m gonna be in trouble. my bad.
Michi McKillip @michith3killer
7 Followers 14 Following
Geoff Moser @Geoff_Moser
42 Followers 850 Following
Molly Palin @mpalin_sb
2 Followers 56 Following
Yenitza Muñoz @yenitzamunoz
2K Followers 159 Following Television Presenter & Founder of New Mindset Content (specializing in positive, educational podcasts, and products)
Laz Masterson @LazMasterson
6 Followers 40 Following I have been a front desk agent in the French Quarter, New Orleans, Louisiana, USA. Now I am telling tales.
Jennifer Leal @jenn_leal22
27 Followers 113 Following
INTM @myintmorg
120 Followers 2K Following We are an early pioneering corporation that is looking to make an impact by matching students with donors, and providing a faster alternative to receiving money
Chris Sheehy @ItsSheehy
78 Followers 232 Following
Loyola Marymount Univ... @LoyolaMarymount
16K Followers 3K Following The official Twitter account of Loyola Marymount University.
Constance @StalkerNeighbor
17 Followers 94 Following They call it an American Horror Story, but it's my life and I've got it by the balls.
Roxanne @LifeLoveRoxy
28 Followers 241 Following Brooklyn born and raised 🗽 Fluent in Sarcasm and Profanity 😏 Nerdy by Nature 🎮🎲
Noelani Lupton @NoelaniLupton
138 Followers 162 Following
Sez Dolby-Glover @SezDolbyGlover
119 Followers 351 Following Photographer winging it at life & parenting. Ex-journalist, ex-nursery teacher. Ex-everything! Just trying to figure it all out & make memories. @sezphotos
Jason Luetke @JasonL_346
105 Followers 454 Following
Dr. John A. Zoidberg @Planet_Expres
442 Followers 2K Following I am the staff doctor for Planet Express, where I check the humans gills, fins, blow holes and whatever else humans need checking.
LostZombies @LostZombies
30K Followers 37K Following We are creating the first ever crowd-sourced zombie scrap book (September '11, Chronicle Books) and film. We won the People's Choice Award at SXSW.
Zee @ZeeInCA
33 Followers 82 Following This is my "angry meltdown" account (private because political or inebriated social media updates are frowned upon)
The Mountain Goats @mountain_goats
183K Followers 4K Following reapplying to the University of New Hampshire's PhD program in Rhetoric, Literacy, and Composition Studies
Yenitza Muñoz @yenitzamunoz
2K Followers 159 Following Television Presenter & Founder of New Mindset Content (specializing in positive, educational podcasts, and products)
Jennifer Leal @jenn_leal22
27 Followers 113 Following
Bill So Hard @PimpBillClinton
173K Followers 335 Following Hung like a horse and high as a giraffe's ass. Also, Ambassador to Saudi Labia. Also, not really Bill Clinton. *parody
Justin Lai @justindlai
1K Followers 2K Following
TEED @TEEDinosaurs
40K Followers 928 Following
Constance @StalkerNeighbor
17 Followers 94 Following They call it an American Horror Story, but it's my life and I've got it by the balls.
Noelani Lupton @NoelaniLupton
138 Followers 162 Following
Ryan Detert @RyanMDetert
23K Followers 2K Following CEO of Influential - Ad Age 40 Under 40. Board of Directors Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. Partner of IBM Watson, Meta, TikTok, and Endeavor.
Rick Grimes @Sheriff_Rick
27K Followers 3K Following One day you get shot in the chest and the next thing you know you're surrounded by the WALKING DEAD. Go figure.
Jason Luetke @JasonL_346
105 Followers 454 Following
Dr. John A. Zoidberg @Planet_Expres
442 Followers 2K Following I am the staff doctor for Planet Express, where I check the humans gills, fins, blow holes and whatever else humans need checking.
donald @donaldglover
2.4M Followers 0 Following
Futurama Quotes @futuramaquotes
23K Followers 0 Following One Futurama quote per every once in a while.
Adam Ellis @adamtotscomix
1.1M Followers 424 Following https://t.co/LG3KC8RHak • https://t.co/aCjpFLsw8F • Let Me In Your Window: https://t.co/HCIk9rB8Qd • Apparel Store: https://t.co/QLiV19eS8G
Jesus Christ Edge Lor... @Jesus_M_Christ
291K Followers 733 Following You know who I am. If not, google me bitches. *PARODY* Donate to help solve the homeless crisis (Venmo: @ jesus-m-christ), 100% goes to @MiracleMessages 🙏🙏🙏
Breaking Bad @BreakingBad
1.4M Followers 4K Following The official handle for #BreakingBad and #ElCamino: A Breaking Bad Movie.
Scott Rowan @heyscottrowan
243 Followers 386 Following 🎥 Director/Producer 🎤 Host 🔧 Airstream Re-doer 😂 Me make funny times into microphones and cameras.
Bender @ThingsButAlso
53K Followers 3K Following Love it or shove it. Unofficial, not affiliated, I just grabbed this in the early days.
● Will Wiesenfeld �... @BATHSmusic
29K Followers 1K Following Baths & Geotic (☻) label Basement’s Basement. mgmt/booking/etc: [email protected]
The Oatmeal @Oatmeal
543K Followers 631 Following Cartoonist and Creator of the Exploding Kittens Netflix series
Zee @ZeeInCA
33 Followers 82 Following This is my "angry meltdown" account (private because political or inebriated social media updates are frowned upon)
Dalai Lama @DalaiLama
17.9M Followers 0 Following Welcome to the official twitter page of the Office of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama®️.
Michael Caine @themichaelcaine
818K Followers 80 Following
Craig Ferguson @CraigyFerg
2.4M Followers 226 Following Traveling Vaudevillian - JOY podcast and new special "I'm So Happy" now available on YouTube! https://t.co/0Q4AqlaDYr
Ashley Olsen @veryashleyolsen
8K Followers 4 Following Looking for the fat-free peanut butter to my invisible jelly.
James Van Der Beek @vanderjames
237K Followers 73 Following Husband, father, writer, make-believer. Sharing what I’ve found helpful. Take what works for you. Disregard the rest.
Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH
23.5M Followers 160 Following Husband, father, random sayer of stuff.Trends for United States
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