TipsFromThePro @TipsFromThePro
Helping humanity improve itself one helpful ProTip at a time. Joined November 2009-
Tweets48
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Followers2
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Following4
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ProTip: Fellas, if you start sex at just the right time tonight, you're guaranteed to last at least an hour!
ProTip: Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
When hiding in a mansion in Pakistan, don't answer the door when guys dressed in all black knock and say, "Pizza."
ProTip: If you lose Chris Henry out of the back of your pick-up, I'm sorry...but that's a fumble.
ProTip: The early bird catches the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.
ProTip: 57 year-old mother-in-laws can probably heal faster when not annoyed by the media because of their celebrity son-in-law.
ProTip: If you value your privacy, don't cheat on your wife and wreck your SUV while being the most famous golfer in the world.
ProTip: If you get up to go shopping at 3am on Black Friday, or if you camped in line the night before, spend time assessing your sanity.
ProTip: Turkeys sometimes spend the night in trees.
@plus8jonandkate ProTip: Don't linger in the public eye needlessly. When you have nothing to contribute to society, contribute your absence.
@jongosselin1 ProTip: Don't linger in the public eye needlessly. When you have nothing to contribute to society, contribute your absence.
ProTip: An exhaust pipe the size of a cantaloupe not only reveals the presence of your car for 4 blocks, it also reveals your tiny penis.
ProTip: Reading a Twilight novel is acceptable as long as you stop after 5 pages and then throw it in your fireplace.
ProTip: Pulling out in front of someone when there's nothing but space behind that person adds to your douchery quotient.
LocalNightScene @LocalNightScene
10 Followers 6 Following
Madlogic 🎙️🃏 @madlogic
38 Followers 109 Following Comedian, author, writer, actor, adventurer, world's mightiest mortal. My first book "Madlogic's Tales Best Left Untold" is now available on Amazon!
LocalNightScene @LocalNightScene
10 Followers 6 Following
Madlogic 🎙️🃏 @madlogic
38 Followers 109 Following Comedian, author, writer, actor, adventurer, world's mightiest mortal. My first book "Madlogic's Tales Best Left Untold" is now available on Amazon!
bob saget @bobsaget
2.0M Followers 784 Following I like long walks on the beach...and then to be dragged through the sand by an off-road vehicle, and then hurled off a catapult.
Justin @shitmydadsays
2.0M Followers 1 Following Author of Shit My Dad Says and, coming May 15th, my new book I Suck At Girls. My dad's in it, don't worry. This account is where I publish the shit that he saysTrends for United States
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