Tweeting Cardinal @TweetngCardinal
Came to Rome to choose - or be -a Pope. Now the voting is over and I'm one of 114 Cardinals jockeying for position. Soccer, anyone? Outskirts of Vatican City Joined March 2013-
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Too many Mothers Day hats and flowers in the pews today. Had to truncate the Homily. #ClaritanBeWithYou
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As soon as I said a Hail Mary, I realized I still haven't sent Mom a card. #VaticanHallmarkIsInsaneRightNow #NoIDontWantACardThatPlaysHeyYa
Francis has restored the tradition of exchanging skullcaps with pilgrims. Inside scoop: he got the idea trading pins at Disney. #IWantPluto
For the record, @ReeseWitherspoon pulled that same crap in confession with me. #YesIKnowWhoYouAreButYouStillHaveToSay50HailMarys
#IWishIWas confident enough to tell Pope Francis that NO, I don't want to watch @JudgeJoeBrown all afternoon long. #IMissGeneralHospital
I guess dinnertime just moved up to 3:30 now that Benedict is back in the fold. #NotSizzlerAgain
Benedict and Francis's FB log-ins are confused: be careful what you IM right now because both can see it. #VaticanITCouldntFixAnAbacus
Benedict back in the VC today. 1st thing he did was go into Francis's fridge and ask "what happened to all my yogurt?" #BoysenberryGoesFast
It's weird to me that #nationaldayofprayer is also #scurvyawarenessday. Alternating Liturgies and Limes all day long.
@GoTeamMegan Tell me about it. I noted that Franciscans don't bathe for weeks and got Tweet-hate for a fortnight.
Thank God #preachingrocket has been invented. Catholicism barely made it 2000 years with the old-style homily. #ShortAttentionSpanSermons
@BetsyYates Are you sure he didn't say "eggs" instead of legs? Dunkin has my 2nd favorite type of unleavened bread... #EggWhiteFlatbreads
@GoTeamMegan Just don't call The Little Mermaid Areola. #NoSenseOfHumorAtAll
Tough to hang with the Pontiff after dinner - he is addicted to all things Law & Order. #WhoFollowsSamWatersonOnTwitter
If the Jets had released Tebow a month ago we might have a different Pope. #AndHesNotEvenCatholic #PlusFrancisIsMoreAccurate
Most underrated part of the Rosary? The Glory-Be's. #AlsoGreatNameForABand
A week in Africa. T-mobile turned out to be a ridiculous choice.
@GoTeamMegan But do you have the clove cigarettes?
@WBKnoblock You clearly haven't been to a sunrise service in ordinary time.
Consensus is if the Pope is going to ban calumny, then he'd better not ban dictionaries. #IWantHimOnMyPasswordTeam
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