UT Alert @UTAlertz
Keepin Fort Sanders clean (SMDH) ***Parody Account*** -------- I'LL TEXT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!! Knoxville, TN Joined August 2012-
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UT ALERT! We go from a coach whose name is an adjective ("Dooley"? idk wut that means) to one thats a much cooler adjective ("Butch", yeah!)
UT ALERT! Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! To our Jewish Friends, a Happy Thanukkah! To our Kwanzaa friends, a Happy Black Friday!
UT ALERT! A man w/ orange pants was seen wandering aimlessly around the Fort. The man was said to have "very nice hair for a jobless man"
UT ALERT! Happy Halloween friends! Be safe and don't become a real life UT Alert! More like Hurricane CANDY right? We have fun here..
UT ALERT! Hurricane Sandy is here today! It's a homeless lady who smokes PCP & longboards around the Fort drinkin a 40
UT ALERT! BREAKING NEWS: Vols have a secret weapon for the upset against Bama today..
UPDATE! The man last PM on 13th @ Clinch who brandished knife turned out to be a Jimmy Johns delivery man. He was in a rush & slicing a sub.
UT ALERT! bye dooley ur done, ur mom says i can have ur N64 too.
UPDATE! Fri. robbery @ Laurel & James Agee: white 5'6", jean shorts, no shirt, bald head or basically Danny DeVito after his recent divorce
UT ALERT! Man seen on Clinch w/ big crayon bank said to be filled w/ stolen money from the Coinstar. Bank pictured here
UT ALERT! Ray Charles sang about Georgia once and he went blind.
UPDATE! The men who brandished guns at Taco Bell last night were said to be on a mission to "end diarrhea forever".
UPDATE! The men @ Haslam last night swapped some computers. A man reported he couldnt update his fantasy team on this:
UT ALERT! A homeless woman & a cat were found sleeping on a mattress at 13th & Highland. 72% chance that the woman gave birth to the cat.
UT ALERT! A FL man broke his arm from doin the gator chomp too hard. A TN man tried to help but the FL man just growled at him. Weird fucks.
UT ALERT! Fried gator tail is not the same as tried gator fail, but both will be in large supply this weekend.
UT ALERT! A bad group has shown up around campus. Suspects, known as “Gators”, are said to like balls in their mouths.
UT ALERT! THIS IS A TEST!! i am a 90 yera old internn at UT alerrt offiec & i am sendingg this tweeat throo a typewriter hope i git the job
UT ALERT! Kids seen @ pool by former Firedog market using BBQ coals to smoke hookah. The Bio dept will use as a lesson in natural selection.
UT ALERT! A man was found passed out face-first in his Cookout milkshake early this AM. The suspect has apologized for partyin'.
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