Northern Rail Travel Updates @UpdatesNorthern
Travel updates for the worst train franchise in the UK Joined May 2019-
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'Delays' imply that the time is a linear construct. Our brain interprets time as such, rather than the subjective fluid nature it could well be. Anyway.. expect delays on all lines #NorthernRail #NorthernFail
Salford Crescent has just progressed to Salford Half-moon. Expect delays. #NorthernRail #NorthernFail
Our pacer trains refuse to leave the depot because it's a bit nippy. Expect delays. #NorthernFail #NorthernRail
Cancellations on trains to Hazel Grove because YOU didn't wish hard enough #NorthernRail #NorthernFail
We apologise that some of our carriages are currently hungover from the Northern Rail christmas party and will not be turning up for work today. #NorthernRail
Our new timetable was lovingly crafted by our new time table executive, Satan. #NorthernRail
The sun is shining. The birds are tweeting. The trains are delayed. #NorthernRail
We are currently decrypting the ancient manuscript that is the Pacer Train maintenance manual. Expect delays. #NorthernRail
We are upgrading the Southport line with a Hot Wheels track featuring a rad loop. Expect delays. #NorthernRail
We are sorry to announce that the [insert train] has been delayed by [insert minutes] we are [insert insincere apology here] #NorthernRail
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