Nonstop Funny @VeryTruePosts
Life is too short to be serious all the time, so if you can't laugh at yourself then call me...I'll laugh at you, for you Joined April 2013-
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Nonstop Funny retweeted
When someone has to sit RIGHT beside you even though there's tons of other seats... #personalspace
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Nonstop Funny retweeted
When you sneeze in front of your pet... #sorrynotsorry #cats
Can you please repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?
I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less. #drinkingprobs
I hate when I say "I hate everyone" and that one dumb bitch is all "Haha, not meee!" No.. especially you.
Claiming that gay marriage is against your religion is like being mad at someone for eating cake because you're on a diet.
Dear recommended serving size, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sincerely, 3 cookies my ass
Walking out of the store without buying anything and all you can think is "try not to act like a criminal"
Don't let people push you around. Unless you're in a wagon, because that shit is fun
I don't appreciate the tone of voice you're texting me in
Feeling like you're going to die when you choke on water
That moment when you're supposed to be cleaning, so you put on music and it ends up turning into a dance party for one
Open fridge: nothing to eat Open pantry: nothing to eat Lower standards and start again
Doesn't 'lol' look like a drowning guy? I bet he isn't laughing out loud
Why can't shampoo and conditioner ever run out at the same time?
Waitress: would you like a table? Me: nope, carpet for 2 please!
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