Zero Dates @ZeroDates
I'm a guy who has great intentions, but never seems to get anywhere with girls. They always love me, but are never in love with me. zerodates.tumblr.com Los Angeles, CA Joined September 2010-
Tweets535
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Followers272
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Following435
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Likes18
After a year of tweeting I'm still Dateless, but I'm thinking it's time to retire this twitter. #experimentover
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Not masturbating, is like not breathing. As in I have to do it 24/7 365 to survive.
Man-scaping incase I get to show my junk off is the only sign that I still have hope.
Acting like a girl is in the bathroom when the delivery guy brings you a ton of food is pathetic, and really hard to do convincingly.
The law of averages says if I ask out every girl in the world, I'll surely get a date. But that's not consistent with my research.
Don't talk to a girl about how death is the absolute end when you first meet her. Her dad might die before you can take her on a date. #oops
“@MurderousMarie: @ZeroDates I have a boyfriend” story of my life.
“@MurderousMarie: I just want my vagina licked while I eat this cheeseburger.” I'm willing.
I'd be skinnier of you let me have sex with you twice a week. #sexercise
Zero Dates retweeted
70% of women can't go completely down when giving a man head the other 30% are certified members of #TeamDeepThroat lmfao
Getting dating tips from rap songs is like getting murder advice from the barefoot contessa.
Talking to a girl enough that she knows you're interested, but not too much that you annoy her always leaves me second guessing myself.
#ifiquittweeting you know I got a handjob.
My bed sheets are all clean, cause I just did laundry... Wanna dirty em?
Saying you want to be a rapper is a lot better than saying it with one less p.
#4WordsINeverWantToHear I fucked your mom.
#4WordsINeverWantToHear my vaginas so dry.
#4WordsINeverWantToHear that's a tiny cock!
#4WordsINeverWantToHear is that your dick?
I'm mostly a boob man, but I can be an ass man, shit let's be honest I can be a vagina man.
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