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Anus @_Anus_

I'm the guy fuckin' the monkey that's fuckin' a football. Omicron Persei 8 Joined October 2010
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_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

It is generally understood that you never go full-retard, but every great once in a while it is acceptable and necessary to go full-Negan.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

I'm convinced that the NSA are attempting to read my thoughts. I'm not too concerned, though. Now, I just think in Pig Latin. Uckfay emthay.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Priests are like really bad magicians, trying to convince you that they pulled a rabbit out of a hat, when really there's no rabbit nor hat.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

A deep meaningful insight, against a backdrop of a sunset, or a silhouette of Buddha. Perhaps something cheeky involving coffee and Minions.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Damn kids. Why, in my day, we had LARPing- the D&D equivalent of Pokemon GO. And we were thankful! None of this imaginary nonsense. Oh wait.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Whenever I've got a difficult decision, I ask myself, "What would Dr. Phil do?" Then I punch myself hard in the face and go on about my day.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Sometimes I want to break the '4th wall' of the real world, and speak to an audience that doesn't exist, and say 'Do you believe this shit?'

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Science says that since your brain takes time to process there's no such thing as living in the present. I disagree. Just think ahead a bit.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Somewhere betwixt heaven and hell, there's a place reserved for the especially stupid. A place called "Derp". Sometimes pronounced "Earth".

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

I think I'll capture people that play Pokémon GO, keep them in big plastic balls, and every once in a while make them to fight to the death.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Number of the Beast?...Anybody?...Nope. Shout at the Devil?...Aw, c'mon, man. Reign in Blood?...No!?...Wtf!? Y'all motherfuckers need Satan.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Blue Life in 140 Characters: You're born. You dedicate your life to protecting others. You get shot to death for the behavior of other cops.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

REAL LIFE in 140 Characters: You're born. You try to get by the best you can. You get shot to death in a routine traffic stop for complying.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Life in 140 characters: We're born. We do stuff. Some stuff happens to us. We process the stuff. Possibly we learn some stuff along the way.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Gooos fraba...exhale...gooos fraba...find your center...go to your center...Are you too good for your center? SUCK MY WHITE ASS, MEDITATION!

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

I've been married, divorced, lonely, pissed off at the world, and lost to the point I wasn't sure if I'd ever get back. It was all worth it.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Not sure if it's a compliment when someone says, "You have the mental equivalent of retard strength." Damned high school guidance counselor.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

The finale episode of GOT? George R. R. Martin, sitting on the Iron Throne, in his underwear, eating Cheetos, surrounded by stacks of cash.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Stoner Moments #678: What if The Walking Dead is set in the same world as Game of Thrones, just much, much later in history. Think about it.

_Anus_ Profile Picture

Anus @_Anus_

9 years ago

Beating a dead horse does seem kind of pointless, at first, till you realize just how tender the meat is after you've finished. So worth it.

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