t @_Call_Me_T
a whole lot of wild and a little bit of crazy Joined April 2012-
Tweets17K
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THAT'S WHY YOU DRAFT A KICKER!!!!
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Also starting May 26th, we will announce the winner of a drawing of all those 17 years-old and under who are vaccinated. The winner will receive a full, four-year scholarship to our state universities. We will do this every Wednesday, for five straight Wednesdays.
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i literally just fucking got that "honk if you're horny" is a pun
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No stimulus check, no vaccine, just out here raw dogging the pandemic
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Honestly...any salary under $50,000 , for a job requiring a college degree, should be illegal
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New concept: a fake ID but one that says that I’m under 26 so I can keep my health insurance
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Everyone please retweet this so @MichelobULTRA, MY FAVORITE BEER, will send me a care package for my birthday🍺🎉🥳
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Pandemic Day 25: I made bread :) Day 95: I sure do miss my friends .... Day 310: The White House appears to be under the control of a shirtless man in a Viking helmet Day 330: Reddit’s coordinated attack on Wall Street is going as planned
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Babe are you ok you’re using a fork from home
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I just love the confidence buying a lottery ticket gives me
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Yes. Yes we fucking did.
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McDonald's pancakes don't even absorb syrup that's how you know they're made outta shoe insoles
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Bringing the same chipotle order I’ve had since high school into 2021
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am i the only girl who’s never returned something i’ve bought online? i just take the L & keep it moving😂?
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I’m all for gender equality but I will never be shoveling a driveway thats for men
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