Retarded Mom @_RetardedMom
Joined September 2012-
Tweets24
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Followers1K
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Following0
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My son keeps asking his girlfriend if he can "Hit that", I will not tolerate that type of abuse
I found a bunch of empty condom wrappers in my daughters room, she must be out of water balloons
My daughters boyfriend is so considerate. I found him fixing my daughters window at 6 AM
My daughter just put a pole in her room, I guess it's incase of the roof falling or something
My daughter is really smart, she tutors almost every guy in school
My son must have bad allergies, his eyes are always red when he comes home from hanging with his friends
My son's girlfriend is very religious, every time I walk into his room she's on her knees
My son really wants a pet, he's always talking to his girlfriend about doggie style
My son's friends love to whistle, every time I walk by I hear them
My daughter's boyfriend is abusive, I heard her telling him she won't be able to walk after tonight
My daughters boyfriend gives great massages, she's always saying "No don't stop"
My daughter kept throwing up this morning after hanging with her friends last night, I hope she doesn't have the flu
My daughter must love algebra, she's always on the phone with her teacher at night
When I picked up my daughter at school today, I saw her helping her teacher put his tie back on, shes so thoughtful
My daughter is always in her room playing with her vibrating light saber, she must love star wars
My son must be sore, he's always talking about rubbing one out
My daughter is so religious, every time I walk past her room she's saying "Oh God Yes"
My son's friends are so nice, they call me a MILF, Mother I like fondly
My husband is so nice, I overheard him telling his work friends he gave all the secretaries a facial
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