Retarded Mom @_RetardedMom_
Cougar? I'm not that scary am I? In The Kitchen Joined October 2012-
Tweets30
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Followers144
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Following0
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Likes0
My daughter has been wearing really baggy clothes for the past 6 months... It's her hip-hop phase...
My son uses a whole box of tissues a night just wiping the keyboard, he is so hygienic!
My sons friends all must have lisps because they always ask me for a glass of Milf.
My son's black friend asked me if I could handle his "long pipe"...I was more than happy to give him my plumber's number.
My daughter told me that she likes to play with herself in her room. I need to find her some more friends!
I'm voting for Regina George because she got pushed in front of a bus... #PresidentialDebate2012
Hey I just met you, and this is loco, but here's four candies, YOU GO GLEN COCO!
My sons class is going to Amsterdam this year and I don't even have to sign any school forms.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said "WTF mom" It's so cute of him that he greeted me w/ "Welcome To Facebook mom!"
My son's friends always ask if they can get a piece of my booty. It's so cute when the pretend to be pirates!
My son got a tattoo of a green leaf on his arm today. I'm so glad he cares about the environment!
My son bought this weird kind of vase for his room, called a bong. I think its great that he's into modern art!
My daughter's Facebook status said "sext me ;)" ... so I commented "you spelled "text" wrong"
Why do my kids always vomit after they get home from a night of studying?!
My son said he was laying pipe at his girlfriend's house. He must be quite the handyman.
My son and his friends keep talking about cougars. I'm going to plan a trip to the zoo for his birthday.
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deleted account✌ @thearoyce
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